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I've had many troubles with my ex, for those who are not up to date, we parted when I was pregnant due to his lack of support. He sees buba a few hours a month but lately hasn't even been coming to his visits, he can't change nappies or hold buba correctly as he refuses to take advice. I make him welcome and am friendly for bubas sake, he has dropped her twice in the past but I haven't stopped visits as I feel it's her choice to make when she's old enough (unless she was in real danger) he lives over 3 hours away and travels via coach to see buba, he was mentioned in the past about having her at his over night! I said this would not happen yet as she is 6 months and he is still unable to do a basic thing as changing a nappy, I have suggested we all go parenting classes to help him but he refused! Now he was txted saying he wants her over night & I can't stop him, he hasn't seen her for 2 months as he didn't bother to come, he can't even hold her correctly & she screams the place down when he goes near her, he doesn't know how to comfort her, he sits there like a lifeless doll & shows no intreast. I believe he only wants her over night to show his mates he is a" great " dad, he's not putting her needs first & only thinking of him self. She hardly knows him & when I've given him chances in the past he has blown them by not turning up! She has health issues & he has never once been to a appointment or visited her in hospital, he didn't buy her a Xmas gift as he said paying cs is enough! Can u imagin if he took her over night & her health got bad but I can't get to her as she's over 3 hours away, he don't know her Meds or history (he has been told but says he "forgets") so he wouldn't know what to tell hospital, don't get me wrong I would love a break for a night but not leaving her in care of a guy who cant even do basic things with a baby!
Hello Louise thank you for your on going support and kindness. I applyed to get a residental order set up however as I do not work I need Legal Aid. I can't find any solicitor who is doing this at the moment. I was told about mediation but feel he will go there, agree with everything, have no official papers drawn up then go straight back to his old demanding ways once mediation is out the way. I need something written in black & white via legal documents to put my mind at rest :( I know they say every child deserves to know their dad but let's face it, that isn't always reality, he does nothing for her but I feel strongly the child needs to make that choice however I draw the line at over night visits, even days out wouldn't work at the mo as he's so terrible at looking after her
I hear what you are saying Tinkerbell2. I know you have consulted our own Legal Expert in the past and are now looking for someone to take on the case. Here is a telephone number you can ring for the Community Legal Service. Have income details to hand and they should be able to refer you to a nearby Legal Aid solicitor. The number is 0845 345 4 345 and it is open till 8pm weekdays. Alternatively you can text "legalaid" and your name to 80010 (standard text cost)
Good luck 
She is far too young to go. Even if he was able to have a contact via a Court Order it is very unlikely that it would be for overnights.
Have you told him that he will need to get a Court Order for further contact as you are concerned for your child's safety? Do you have a good support network you can call on.
Hi Tinkerbell,
I totally sympathise with your situation and think you are absolutely right to say no to over night stays.
My daughter is 8 and I still refuse to let my ex have her unsupervised. As a parent I think we should be afforded the right to keep our children safe and the absent parents rights should be second (or last lol). I doubt any court would send a 6 month old for over night stays with a man she hardly knows regardless of the fact he is her dad.
Keep on fighting. Good luck.
Hello Tinkerbell2 this is an ongoing worry for you, I know, and you mentioned in a post some time ago that you had had assurances that your video of him with your bubba was good evidence. So I do hope that reassured you. At the end of the day, he could only enforce overnight contact with a court order. Are you still concerned about his next move?
I agree it is infuriating to think of what his motives might be!