This site is an archive of the OneSpace Forums. Return to forum index.
Here..
That made me want to cry, I used to self harm in my late teens, I never spoke to anyone about it.
(note from Moderator, members may not wish to play this video in the hearing of very young children, not because there is anything wrong with it but because it may well lead to a "what is self-harm?" conversation you don't want to have at the moment)
I've only just stumbled upon this thread. I also used to self-harm from my mid teens through to my mid twenties and I never spoke to anyone about it or got any help at the time, because I thought I was the only person in the world who was doing it!! It wasn't till many years later, reading an article in a magazine over someone's should on the bus that I realised I wasn't alone!! So I am very glad it's a more openly discussed topic nowadays.
Thanks ficurnow, yes it is more openly discussed and as you say, it can help people to learn that there are others in the same boat
Hi I’m wondering if anyone can help me with this, I’m
needing to know why with self harm you can feel 2 complete opposite emotions at
the same time for example
Painfulness/painlessness
Happy/sad
Relieved/scared
Alive/dead
Released/trapped
Hi zippy. Sorry I don't know this one. Hopefully someone will be able to answer your question. Are you ok?
Zippy are you self-harming at the moment, or at risk of doing so? it is important to get help if so, from your GP at the very least. If it is someone else you are supporting, please encourage them to see their doctor, as professional support can be put in place.
Just quick bit of info on this one: as a counsellor I can tell you that in general, self harm happens for two reasons: one is that a person has buried strong emotions and feels disassociated from the world and they can self harm to "prove" that they can feel something (even if it is physical pain); secondly, someone can be so acutely aware of their emotional pain, they can self-harm in order to blot out that pain with physical pain. Does that make sense? It would explain the different feelings I think.
You talk of conflicting emotions. Is this something you are experiencing at the moment?
louise. I'm not supporting anyone else but going through these things myself
I am sorry to hear that, Zippy. I did not want to assume that without you saying.
Self-harm can include lots of different behaviours including cutting, biting and substance abuse like heavy drinking and drugs usage. Whichever one of these is relevant to you (or some other harm) it really is important to get some help. I know you are not one to spill out your soul but a counsellor could give you a great deal of help. If you don't want to get help for your own sake, remember your little boy needs you to be able to cope. As I said above, get an appointment with the GP and in the meantime don't forget the Samaritans are at the end of the line 24-7 and you can remain anonymous
We have talked before about how your life has changed so suddenly and choices have been taken away from you, no wonder you feel so down and your emotions are all over the place.
Keep posting, and please do get some help to support you through this
Hi Zippy. Sorry you're going through a rough time. I do hope you're able to speak to a GP or something. It must be awful for you, having to go through this, but there is help out there, so please ask for it. Take care
Hi zippy
Thank you for trusting us and acknowledging that you are self harming, bringing a secret out like that is not always easy.
I don't know if you have ever had a look around the internet for support for yourself, however here are some excellent websites:
www.mind.org.uk/help/diagnoses_and_conditions/self-harm
www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinfoforall/problems/depression/self-harm.aspx
All the websites offer other useful organisations to contact. I wonder if you would consider finding a face to face support group in your area?
zippy
xxx
Hi Zippy.
sorry to hear whats going on. take care of yourself , can you speak to your GP like alisoncam has said.
Hi Zippy
How are you feeling today? xxx
i'm going to ring the doctors tomorrow to try and get an appointment.
Anna thanks for the links not had chance to look at them yet but i will go through them all.
Not had the best day really it was l's last day at nursery which upset me but also the end of my normal work and im not lookin forward to the change.
Hi Zippy
Sorry you havent had the best of days.
Hope you do manage to get an appt with the doctor, good luck we are all thinking of you and sending you lots of hugs xxx
thanks tiredmum
Hi zippy,
Try and get some sleep, I know its not easy but even just laying down and relaxing is good.
I will be thinking of you tomorrow xxx
We are all here for you, zippy 
Good that you are ringing the GP!
Thinking of you, and hope things have gone ok today.
Hi Zippy
just a quick note to say hi and I hope you are doing ok.
x
Rang gp and all i got of the receptionist was a load of grief asking loads of questions as to why i wanted to see the doctor in the end i put the phone down as couldn't cope with it. I'm thinking i'll maybe try again on monday.
That's dreadful, sometimes they can be such dragons! Do try again on Monday. Tired mum has a good tip with anyone scary, she says remember they have to use "Andrex" like everyone else...I think we are talking the toilet variety.
One thing I found very helpful during a low time was to write down bullet points of how I was feeling and then if I could not speak, I just handed it to the doctor. You could maybe go to the surgery to make an appointment and write down on a piece of paper that you want an appointment and why and that you cannot cope with being asked any questions.Or could a friend make the appointment for you?
I see you were up in the early hours again, hope you are not feeling too exhausted today, keep posting, we are here for you
Please tell the receptionist it is urgent and personal.
I believe that they're not meant to ask?
I wrote everything down as I kept crying, and the GP read through it.
Please try and rest this weekend, and as Louise says, remember we're here too...
I don't know if their meant to ask or not, but i don't think its anything to do with them. I'm going to see how I feel on monday as to whether or not to ring as dont think its going to be the best of days anyway without anything else added into the equation
Hi Zippy
Please do give the doctors another go at some point.
I am sorry you are having such a bad time at the moment, do hope that Monday will surprise you and not be as difficult as you think it might be.
I`m thinking of you and sending you lots of hugs xxx
Hi Zippy. Hope you manage to see the Dr tomorrow. Like someone has already said, just tell the receptionist it is personal, you don't wish to discuss it with them, and you need to see the Dr urgently. If they still refuse you an appointment, ask for a phone call from the Dr. I don't think they can deny this if you ring early in the morning, before 10 I think it is. How has your weekend been? I know you're going through lots of changes, but you have to firstly take care of you. x
Hi zippy, just going to say what everyone else has, tell the receptionist 'Its personal', they will find it hard to ask you further questions.
Just remember to take one day at a time, there is no rush, you have a lot of changes going on, today is the first day of the rest of your life. I know that in the past some days seemed worse than others and on the slightly better days I denied difficult times and tried to ignore the problems that I was facing, but it is really important at this stage to keep reaching out to all that you can. Did you get through to the Doctors and make an appointment?
Hi zippy. How are you? Did you manage to see the Doctor? Hope you're ok. Take care
Hi zippy
How was today for you? I do hope you are ok xxx
Hi zippy,
How are you doing? I hope that things are getting a little easier for you, did you try the doctors again?
Thinking of you xxx
Hi Bubblegum
Thank you for this link, I agree it is very moving. I like the look of that whole website as well, I must say!
Several of my son's friends have been involved in self-harm, mainly girls. The reason they seem to do it is because of the mental and emotional pain they feel and, for them, the physical pain they suffer from the self-harm blocks this out a little. There is also a link with low self-esteem and "self-hatred" I don't know if you can relate to any of that, and you may not want to talk here about your personal situation anyway. Do you think you would benefit from talking to somebody, though?
There is another side to self-harm, often as people get older. This is when someone has completely blocked off thier emotions due to a traumatic event or situation and they cause themselves physical pain almost to prove to themselves that they are still alive, if that makes sense.
The link that you posted does give some reassurance and asks parents not to panic. I like the way it emphasises that stability and boundaries will help. Good one.