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Help.....
My little girl ( 8 ) is driving me mad. She is terrified of a character created on the school playground (I think anyway coz i never heard of her) She is called Mary Bluu and she kidnaps children and eats their eyes
My daughter is so scared of her she wont even go to the toilet without the door wide open (toilet is next to living room) and me talking to her throughout her visit. Even her going to the kitchen for a drink means I must keep talking to her whilst she is getting the drink and she is usually in and out in a flash (leaving the fridge open, taps running etc). And at night she will only go to bed in my bed with the light on and the tv on CBBC and I have to check the entire room to her satisfaction that Mary is not there. And even then if she hears a creak she will race in to the living room and sleep on the sofa.
I have tried everything reassure her this Mary does not exist but to no avail.Other mums at school have expressed their children being scared too but not to a level my daughter is. She gets so worked up sometimes I get scared she will have a panic attack. Any advice?
Cheers littlered x
I think I have bought in to it a little too much (i secretly enjoy her being in my bed for one thing!) I just keep remebering when I was little and in my school the scary character was "the candyman" who hid under your bed and pulled you under and ate you (things kids believe). I was terrified but my mum just always said it was nonsense and it took me years (even in to adulthood) before I could safely hang my legs over the bed lol
I will try putting her in her bed tonight and sitting near the door and see how it works. Fingers crossed.
if you are going to try sitting at the door you have to sit with your back to her and face outwards towards the open door and make sure you say nothing after you have put her to bed - it sounds harsh but there is no point in entering into a conversation with her - if she gets out of bed put her back and just say time to sleep or something simple like that - i know what you mean about them being in your bed - i think the trick is to listen to her fears and not disregard them but not to do much else with them - good luck
I am sat on the floor with back to her right now (entertaining myself on laptop). She seems to be pretty fine to lay in her bed now she can see me. Its been 15 mins and she hasnt tried to speak to me so far so good...
great - well done
Brilliant suggestions LRH.
You can explain over and over that this character does not exist but she won't take your word for it, logic does not cme into it, You can however say "I PROMISE that Mary Bluu will not hurt you". But as LRH says, don't get into prolonged discussions about it, just when she asks.
It's worth persevering with the bed routine, even if this goes on for months. But do have a word with the school
Poor mite...
Update...
Last nite worked... until 2am when she awake and came running in to my bed
She has gone to bed ok with me sat by her door facing away from her. She is still worried about being in any room on her own during the day. But I just have to let her know Im in the other room by talking to her until she comes running in.
I spoke to school and they have had a couple of complaints already they are not sure where the story came from but are going to incorporate some learning about myths for the children to try and stop them being scared of these fictional characters.
Hello littleangel, you are doing all that you can do, keep up the good work. Glad the school are on board now
It is good when a school helps.
They were brilliant with my lot with issues they found difficult to cope with.
My first thought would be to speak to the school and find out for sure - it could be that some of the older children have made up a character and it can be frightening for the little ones - firstly it sounds like you are taking it seriously but I would also try not to pay too much attention to it - if your daughter needs to leave the toilet door open then that is fine. I would just go with her and get her drink with her but not make any comment or just pass the time of day with her - you know general chatter - she may be having a bit of separation anxiety at night time but you really need to keep her in her own bed and just try and stay calm and reassure her. My daughter listens to a story tape at bedtime and has a night light - if i were you i would do a calming warm bath and then go to her bedroom and tuck her in with a story and then leave a night light on - if she gets up just take her quietly back to bed - sort of supernanny style if you know what i mean - just be very calm and consistent but don't have a conversation about this character - if you keep the bedtime routine the same it will help her but allowing her into your own bed will unsettle her - it kind of feeds the fear - easy to say i know - the other technique would be to sit at the bedroom door till she is asleep but you would have to do this every night with no talking again a bit like supernanny - until she realises she is ok - it should calm down within a few nights but you have to make sure you don't talk to her - its just your presence that is reassuring - hope some of that helps - i think these fears are normal for her age