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I experianced domestic violence from my sons father when i was pregnant once and it was physical. He has then emotionally abused me all my sons life cos i wouldnt get back with him and i still wont. My son is now nearly 6.
I then experianced physical DV from another partner 08/2011 and reported him to police and social services got involved. My sons farther then took me to court 12/2011 and i allowed my son to go to him rather than care as he had never done nothing to my son and was pretty good with me whilst he had him.
he has now over the months he is now still emotionally abusing me and now my son but no one listens even when i have recording and photos. he gets away with everything and has now made it hard for me when i see my son as he supports my contact which i have tried to get done by someone else other than him but everyone is falling for his lies and thinks im the worst mother ever. yet i have done all trainning and everything i have been asked to do , ive even moved areas and had assessements coming out my ears.
How am i ment to get people to listen to me when he makes me out to be a liar and my son is suffering but i seem to be the only person who sees it, and now my son wont even tell me what he done at school or had for lunch etc when we have always had such a close relationship.
Now i feel speaking out is a waste of time i have lost my life with my son and feel if anything ever happened again i would just deal with it myself.
Thank you, and i have told social service and the police are no good my son stayed at my parents house whilst my sons dad got drunk and he called police in early hours of the morning and he was drunk and the police allowed him to go with him at 230am and to also travel 28miles in a car with no car seat. He has made them all think he is lightness and sweet when he isnt.
I have done the freedom programme and other courses which makes it worse as they show you how to regonise and stop the cycle but no one listens i scream out to my solicitor, my dv outreach worker, and social services and cafcass and social services listen till they talk to my sons dad then im told well he said this and hes right but not in them words. I have done everything im asked but makes no diffenence. my mum used to come to social services meeting with me and court now my sons dad has said she is not allowed and if she goes he will not and he has to be there so what am i to do.
I have searched the internet and i scream to everyone but he has my son brain washed that when my son is asked he denies what is said or what he has said to me, my son is scared to talk to social services and has told me so as daddy will find out what i said then when i try to talk abt it he denies it . I am a protective mum but i am not picking at thing as if my son was better off with his dad i would let it be but he is drainning the life out of him.
I will look at thr mums away from children,.
Thank you
Hi Angel of Hope, welcome from me 
Did you find the Mothers Apart from their Children website useful?
Your thread title is 'Speak out about DV or not' and I am wondering in what way have you not spoken out about it?
Hello Anna and Thank you,
I have but no one listens and now if anything ever happened again to me again i wouldnt as speaking out has made me suffer DV and then to be punished for suffering DV and im still suffering. so would i again speak out , i really dont know.
And yes i have looked at the mothers apart from children just one problem they want a payment and it doesnt seem that much but i spend all my money on petrol and parking just to see my son, its that bad i have to eat at realatives houses as i cant afford to feed my self.
But your right maybe my title wasnt the best its just how i feel. when the support i have from DV workers is useless .
Thank you
Hi Angel of Hope, I think we must ALWAYS speak out about DV, I can see in your circumstances why you would be hesitant though.
I am sorry to read that you haven't felt supported by DV workers, that is very unfortunate as that is their job.
I didn't know that MATCH wanted money, sorry for that. I would suggest you contacted the Familly Rights Group as well though, as you still need to get some ongoing support with this. Their number is 0808 801 0366, it is free from a landline and I have found them very helpful in the past. (Line open 9.30 - 3.30pm)
Hello Angel of Hope, I would like to say I am sorry to hear that MATCH ask for a joining fee, I did not realise this 
£15 is a lot for someone on a limited income!!!!
See how you get on with the Family Rights Group. Are you also sure you are getting all financial help you are entitled to...do you work? Are you on JSA?
Hi,
Im on esa due to having suffered DV and having councilling, social services are ment to have a duty of care to help me see my son but his dad was getting Money to bring him to school and ended up frauding them out of money so social worker said coz of that they will not help me i have got my solicitor to write to social services legal team but still waiting for a reply. I have looked for charities and organisations to help but i cant find any. also emailed Match to see if i can pay at a later date or can join for free just waiting on a reply .
Thanks
It sounds as though you are being really pro active Angel of Hope.
Let us know what the solicitor manages to get back from the social services.
Hello Angel of Hope and welcome. My heart goes out to you with all that you have experienced.
I understand why you feel that speaking out was a bad thing but violence is NEVER OK and you did the right thing to rptoect your son....what has happened now, though, is that he is continuing the cycle of abuse to you. I am going to give you a lot of info to look at now but first I need to say to you that if you have suspicions that your son is being abused then you MUST go to social services again and the police if neccessary.
Now here is some stuff for you. Have you done the Freedom programme, which will help you to rebuild your life after this abuse? We have an online version of it onsite, have a look here (click)
Next, seek legal advice, we have a Legal Expert you can email, click here to do so.
Also you can look at a website which supports mums away from their children, see here and finally a site for families with social services involvement, see here.
Have a read, and come back and keep talking to us, we are here for you.