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Hi everyone,
I split from my ex husband nearly four years ago. At the time my kids were aged 6 and 2. My daughter is now 10 and really seems to be struggling with it. Her dad chated on me and moved in with his partner as soon as we split, they are now gettting married. My daughter has so much bitterness and anger towards her dad, she gets upset about going to see him, she says she hates him and wishes he would move to Australia. She isnt sleeping and is so tired all the time. My ex is very unreasonable and can be a bully so it would bevery difficult to talk to him about it.
I took her to the GP last week and they are going to look into counselling for her, I just wondered is anyone else has had a smilar situation with their kids?
Thanks
Sam
Hi Sam.W, It's not i situation that i have had to deal with personally, but i have had friends and parents that i have supported go through similair to yourself.
Has your daughter said that anything has happened recently, that may have effected their relationship? How are things going with the rest of her life/school etc?
Thanks for the replies. She really hasnt been herself lately, she has been saying she doesnt want to do some activities that she normally enjoys doing like swimming. I dont think that anything in particular has happened with her dad, he is very strict, a bit too strict and I would almost say that he can be a bully at times. It could be that she gets told off there more but she wont talk about it much. Its just very hard but all I can do is to be there for her!
Sam
I think some counselling could really help. Sometimes children feel they can't show the full extent of their feelings to the parent they live with because they are trying to protect that parent...it might be that she thinks you have been hurt enough. However, it is now several years since the split and she does need to come to terms with what has happened, it is making her anxious. Give her lots of reassurance as well and try to do some fun things together with her so she can laugh and de-stress a bit?
Things got really bad with my daughter and her Dad for a while, she was coming up to 11.
She would physically shake when a text would come through. It was a matter I took back to my solicitor and I was lucky as he did listen to the children about issues that were going on. It went on for two or three months before things were ok again. He did agree to her being able to ask to come back to me though, if she was upset, which helped her.
I did still take her, along with her brothers, for contact (no court order in place), as I knew my oldest boy would make sure she was ok.
As he was cancelling a fair bit of contact, although three months sounds a long time, there were very few weekends involved.
It was hell on earth at the time though. It's so horrid seeing your child being so upset.