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Hi there - have been on this website a few times and would like to just talk to someone. Am going through an extremely messy divorce and cannot believe how nasty it has turned. Is this what happens? Or am I just being totally and utterly naive? Due to the volume of drugs involved, and the nature of my soon-to-be ex-husbands outburts (particularly in front of our 2 young children) I requested that he stay away from me and the children and our family home. I also requested a change in access - I am happy for him to see the children as he usually does (every second Sunday for 4 hours - this is all he was prepared to give) but changed the parameters as such. I have now requested that his parents collect our children and take them to their house and he see the children there. Because of this he has now erupted, not seen them for 7 weeks, has cancelled paying the mortgage in lieu of maintenance, is not paying any maintenance, is going around telling all family and friends that I am keeping the children from him, denying any involvement with drugs (and it was I who caught him snorting coke at his daughters birthday party and later discovered that he was also taking ecstasy at the party). I am living a nightmare and just feel so low. However, my children are far too precious and I need to protect them. But I am so stressed out.
Hi MrsTyler
Divorces do very often turn nasty, even if they started out quite amicably. It is not that you are being naive, I think most of us who have been through it have been shocked at the emotional rollercoaster it involves (which is one of the reasons I get cross when people claim that "divorce is too easy these days"....they are always people who have never been through a divorce! 
)
Hazeleyes is right, you are not keeping the children from him, you are keeping YOU from him, which sounds like a good idea in view of these outbursts. How sad for the children that their dad is behaving like this.
Money: if he is going to use this as a weapon then you need to have a more formailised arrangement in place and I suggest you have a look at your options including the CSA, click here to see. You do need to know what money you have coming in every month.
It's just so difficult for you...
Are his parents able to be a bit positive about picking up the children with him? After all, you're being reasonable...
Hi Mrs Tyler
When you requested a change in access, did you do this via a solicitor or over the phone?
Will his parents come and get the children, regardless of whether he turns up or not?
Hello Mrs Tyler. Nice to see you back here again. Sorry to hear you're having a bad time at the moment. I completely understand why you have changed the pick up arrangements. You haven't stopped your ex from seeing the children, this is his choice. Don't worry about what he is telling other people, the ones who really know you, will realise that he is lying.How are the children, with not seeing him for 7 weeks?