I don't know if anyone else has the same issue but I have two boys of which one is nearly 18 years and the other is aged 8 years. 10 year age gap. They share a bedroom (housing society property) because the law says they can until the eldest is 18 years old and I have also found/observed that even then, some housing authorities are in no rush to move families in this kind of circumstance.
I know the age limit is different for male and female sibling sharing a room which is understandable but why is it then that my eldest who (by law) can start a relationship and have a family of his own at 16 if he wanted to, yet he has to share a bedroom with his younger brother? My eldest stays up late to play his xbox and he's often using his microphone headset to talk to his mates (and he's not quiet either) my youngest gets annoyed and is constantly telling his brother to " shut up".
It is comical when they argue (I can't get mad at them) but it's not really ideal is it? and this isn't the only issue, as the lack of space is a problem as their bedroom is only 9ft by 5 ft. It has an inbuilt cupboard/wardrobe but my eldest lad has took control of that for all his clothes and my youngest has a chest of drawers and his other clothes are in my wardrobe.
I went to my local MP, he's not my choice but he's the only muppet (I'm being polite, as I'm not this nice to him on Twitter) we have got so I went to see him, he said " I don't think I can change the law on it" why not ? he's the perfect person to start the ball rolling and get it changed. I was also addressing some other issues with him regarding housing. He proved to be useless, he also said " Don't worry, I know of your housing authority and what they are like, I can also go to the newspaper" um...what? Why would an MP need to use a newspaper as support? I was put off by this, I said " well, so could I Chris but to be honest, I don't believe they help".
So, is there anyone else in this situation such as ours?
Is there any chance the law can be changed? I think there is good reason(s) to.
Or, maybe I'm asking for too much.
The system for housing/rehousing has changed but there is no case for priority any more. I think cases such as these should be priority but we have to use the same procedure as everyone else. It makes me mad to think we give away so much money to the EU every day (55 million) when we have problems here that need resolving.
It is very frustrating isn't it Hannah40, I agree. I believe there are cases for priority, for people that are in extremely dire overcrowding situations and extreme circumstances, but unfortunately there just isnt enough social housing to provide adequate accommodation for all.
I will be interested to hear what other forum members think.....
Anna - Not enough adequate housing is something else they forgot to take in to consideration when they came up with the bedroom tax.
Still, I don't expect anything less now from the clowns running the show.
When you think how many unemployed people who would like a job but it seems many of the top ones go to 'criminals'.
Have you contacted Shelter they maybe able to offer some suggestions.
The other thing that i was told was to going to the housing assocaition that i rented from and get a housing support worker.
Hi
My three boys share a bedroom. We were homeless before being allocated a house with one of the local housing association. There is a 7 year age gap between the older and younger son.
Once my oldest his 18, we were no longer classed as over crowded.
I'm lucky as there haven't been too many arguments.
Although we were on a waiting list for a bigger house, we were never considered for one.
I appreciate though how frustrating things are for you.
Sally - I went to my MP about housing authority and issues and it was just one big joke after another. He contacted the housing society and they kept saying they hadn't received the emails. The secretary for MP said, this is getting a bit suspicious because we have had this happen before with people, she said "Once you can let it go but it's happened a few times". Then she said she will try again and request a confirmation email, which she eventually got. As soon as my housing authority knew I had contacted MP they started sending nasty letters to me saying I was leaving stuff in the communal areas and complaining about my dog, and said they received complaints about my dog (no names, just accusations). They (housing society) are so pathetic and bullies too. You can tell they didn't like it .
Things like this are intimidating and it makes me wonder the lengths they are allowed to go to to let their anger show. They only talk to us when they think we are doing something wrong, when we need help, they don't give s**t!
I've put up with a lot of crap from them, we don't even know where they came from as they took over council property out of the blue.
When I start kicking off to housing about them and other issues, I get police intimidation, they follow me and keep driving past me in the street every day for about a week. I have lashed out at police and they have left me alone since I started divulging some truths about what they've been up to but I shouldn't have to resort to that.
The police, council and our local housing are cosied up together, if you speak of their wrong doing then watch out. When I have complained I get fobbed off or more intimidation as if to say 'shut up' basically. One nearly hit me off the pavement when he decided he was going to drive on the path on a blind bend which I was walking along. I put in a complaint about him and the intimidation got worse. The idiot then went on with his dangerous driving and was involved in a car chase which killed a couple on their bikes. The police around here are disgusting.
The police were complicit in a cover up over an incident involving my vehicle back in 2010 and things have just got worse since.
Everywhere I go,for help they just add to the problem. They are vile!
I'm glad I don't pay my taxes because I don't want them having a penny from me.
This has got to STOP!
Sounds like there have been a lot of things going on for you Hannah40 and you are feeling very angry and frustrated about it all.
Do you have a housing support worker? Is there a local neighbourhood watch in your area?
My housing association are regularly holding events where they want residents to meet with each other and discuss local issues, are you offered this service? I was thinking that others in your area may be feeling the same way as you.
Going back to the title of this thread, you say that your children are arguing. It must be very frustrating for them to feel like they are on top of each other. Are there any bedroom rules? I was thinking you could let them take it in turns to say what they would like to see change (this gives them the chance to get their voice heard) and the other could choose 3 to abide by and also choose their own consequences too.
All you would need to do was facilitate the discussion and not allow shouting or arguing, what do you think?
I wouldn't get involved with any of the organisations Anna, they are all bent and in each others pockets. If the local police are corrupt then we are all doomed. They should be in court.
The arguments aren't too bad and are short lived. I don't get involved because I get accused of siding. Too be honest it is the oldest one that keeps on nagging to get us moved out. He said "why don't we go private"?I said, I cant afford to and you will be moving out in the next few years and I will be left with the rent/ debt of 3 bed home. His grandad (my father) gave my son some money last year to rent his own place but he didn't bother, he spent the money. I've told him that when he finishes sixth form he will find a job and he can then move out.
I have a couple of friends who have had the same problem as you, both of them are in private property, they just could not afford anything bigger. One of them still has this situation, where her daughters are 9 and 19 and share a room.So I think it happens to a lot of people who are in all sorts of housing situations. Is the other bedroom (yours) any bigger? Just wondering about whether a room swap would help. In your situation, I would be inclined to have a rule of quiet in the bedroom after a certain time of night and say that your eldest needs to do his x box and chatting downstairs, with you making your own room into a refuge for yourself!
Hi Hannah40
Unfortunately this is a fast growing problem and seems to be getting worse as local housing authorities are changing the criteria for the banding systems to cope with the growth which makes it even harder, In Bristol it is 16 but people are experiencing the same problems as you due to the lack of housing.
Have you had a look at your local Home Swapper scheme, i have known a couple of people that have tried this and been successful.
I empathise with you on this as until three years ago i lived in a two bed house with my four children my son know 17 and three girls now 14, 13 and 9, i had been trying to get moved for 10 years. It has done them good though as they had to learn to get along, keep the space tidy and generally be more considerate to each other.