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There are so many positive things to being a single parent.
Do you agree, if so what are they?
I agree with all the above!!
Also:
Holding the remote and watching crap telly!
Not keeping the house completely spotless!
Visiting friends with the children, having one too many drinks and crashing at theirs for the night!
Buying a bag of chips, when too tired/can't be bothered to cook dinner!
Having spur of the moment parties with other single mums and their kids.
Letting the kids stay up and watch the end of the film.
Wearing BIG pants!!!
And like SadieTwins said Being QUEEN of MY castle!!!! :lol: :lol:
Here Here pinkywizz.... (think i got your name right..soz if not..).... absolutely... :D we do all of that too and isn't it fabulous!!!
+not having to compromise on where you want to have a day out or how you do things!!
+LESS WASHING!!!!
+not having match of the day on or saturday morning italian football!!.....hehehehehe
Oh + not having beard shavings all round the sink and taps.....thats a bonus too!!!... :lol:
Being able handle any situation that occurs in exactly the way you want to. And not have the other partner criticising you infront of your child, on how you are handling the situation!!!
No being next to a snorer!!!!! yayayayayay
And having as many animals as me and my daughter want!!!
Despite the uncertainties, the financial hardship and the hassles of having one adult to do everything, I would not have missed out on the experience of being a single mum for anything. I honestly believe it was the best thing that happened to me because it made me test my own strengths and therefore believe in them. I have tons more confidence in myself and my own abilities than I ever had in my twenties or thirties. Fi x
I agree wholeheartedly with all[b]of the above!
To add my own pluses:
Girls grow up knowing that they don't have to depend on a man for anything. They are self sufficient and confident young women.
Boys are much more in touch with their feminine side than if there had been a testosterone filled partner who objected to his son playing with dolls, dressing up and enjoying baking or cooking!
Mum learns to do anything and everything about running her own place without any interference from someone who knows better...not! LOL
Think that's it...probably loads more but my brain is fogged up at the mo' :lol:
All these are great!
- Not have to listen to him moaning about what has gone wrong now.
- Not to have to hunt for missing keys, glasses etc.
- No horrible atmospheres when hes in a bad mood.
- Oldest daugher is happier because she isn't being picked on anymore.
- Not having to cook at the last minute, wash for and clean up after lazy stepsons.
There are loads more but then this would become an essay! lol
SEE! :lol: Being a single parent IS GREAT! I want to hear more positive things, so people can realise that its not all doom and gloom!
Also that we can remind ourselves that its not all doom and gloom!!
Keep them coming!
Not having to watch Big Brother!!
Being able to write whenever I feel like it (kids permitting).
No possibility of playing the blame game - the buck stops with me.
Not having to suffer weird moods and atmospheres.
Getting to listen to my music...
Yep - pretty much what others have said :D
yea...despite the hard times, the good times are numerous...
I think the sense of achievement is immense, knowing you did it, alone, by yourself, is fantastic, especially when people with 1 child say "they don't know how you do it"....thats a great feeling. I do feel stronger for it and like I can do anything... well within reason obviously... :lol: !!
Also that my boys don't have a negative role model is very important, they may not have an alternative role model....yet (there's always hope... :D ) but bad habits, lying, etc are not behaviours I want them to have...as much as possible.!!
Hi sadietwins
I completely agree, the sense of achievement is huge, sometimes i feel like i could conquer the world! I am so proud of myself sometimes (on good days that is!) everyone, including ex said that i couldn't do it and i have! My daughter is great, I am so proud of her and i truly believe that because ex is not in her life anymore, her life has improved tenfold, she doesn't have any negative influences anymore, ex has no idea what a bad role model he was, getting lairy all the time, sulking, not giving a *"** about anyone other than himself. My girl has turned from a tantrummy child into a considerate, patient, hard working young teenager. and i say that is ALL down to me, yeehah! and her of course!
I congratulate you on your boys, I have always thought boys to be generally more boisterous and louder than girls and I can't imagine what it must be like to have two the same age!
SINGLE PARENTS RULE!!! :lol: :lol:
Hey that sounds great, SadieTwins. I remember reading the Stephen Biddulph book "Raising Boys" and whilst there is not much in there about parenting alone (why not!?) one thing is does say is that if you are a Mum with boys then it is a good idea to look for positive male role models for them, whether that is a teacher, a Cub Scout leader, extended family etc. My own feeling is that life for boys is getting more complicated and it's great to have good people around who can show them how to live as a man in today's world.
Best wishes
Louise :)
- Not having to consult anybody....because I understand the concept of spontanious!
- Having the final decision because I am the roost that rules the nest!
- sssshhhh.....Did you hear that? exactly...not having to listen to anybody snoring!! LOL
- Not having to sneak new shoes into the bottom of the wardrobe, because I understand the concept of "its a different shade of brown!"
- Being able to visit friends in another city and not having to rush back that night....because my family (my little man) is with me!
but bestest thing in the whole wide world about being a single parents is...............
I get all the loves and hugs every single morning of every single day.....and every single night of every single evening....and I don't have to share them!!
The second bestest thing in the whole wide world about being a single parent is......................
Looking at your child with pride and the sense of achievement that you've done it by yourself and doing a pretty good job at it too!
Being a slob and only doing housework when I feel like it.
Decorating the house how I want it.
Fixing things when they need fixing.
My daughter having horses and dogs - which my husband didn't want to happen.
Making my own stupid decisions and not being shouted at for them.
The sofa being available.
Not having to put up with terrible guitar playing late at night.
Not feeling the need to hold your stomach in when you get out the bath
Not having to tidy your bedroom if you dont want to
Not having to consider anyone elses feelings apart from yours and your kids
Booking a babysitter and going where you want!
Spending all day in bed with the kids eating biscuits without having to worry about crumbs (they go the other side of the bed! LOL)
Being able to go to bed and not have to worry about being woken up with a broom handle in your back!
Being able to crawl home drunk at 3 am when the kids are at nanny's and no one moaning about what a dreadful state to be in!! LOL LOL LOL
Watching X factor and all the repeats throughout the week!
I actually almost dread getting a boyfriend as it would mess with my unorganised mojo!
Being able to go to bed and not have to worry about being woken up with a broom handle in your back!
I just choked on my tea!!!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:
Quality time with my girl without any interuptions
Dancing around the living room like crazy people :D
Doing wat we want when we want to do it
Having my own house - decorated and arranged the way I want it
not having to cook for ungrateful people who never return the favour
not feeling guilty about having an occassional night out after working and taking care of my daughter all week
pride - because everythings the way I want it
achievement - because its my responsibility
no pointless arguments (except over whether to watch Dora or Eastenders)
morning cuddles in bed with someone who doesn't expect something in return
and most importantly
Being Happy Together
" you can get to watch tv....when theyre asleep without being nagged at "(but is lonely) :cry:
I have a life now
Answering only to myself, my decisions go and thats final
Consistancy for the children, AT LAST
We have a happy, smiley, fun house. No horrible atmospheres.
And im definatley agreeing with all the much earlier posts lol, I do all the random single mum things too, Yay :lol:
Im feeling empowered now, thanks everyone x
Totally agree with all of the above, especially the comment on smelly socks lol. :D :D :D
To add my own two pennies worth
Having grown in confidence in my own ability to parent my children.
Having become stronger and more independant.
Having found the ability to find the funny side of the worst day.
Finding other single parents to share my laughter and tears.
kNOWING WHEN I LOOK AT MY GEORGOUSE CONFIDENT CHILDREN, THAT I shaped them into that.
Having my children all to myself.
Have fun with my friends and having my friends in my house whenever i want.
Never feeling secound best to the telly!
Lying in bed on a sunday morning with my children, the tv and breakfast.
Finding myself again.
i could go on and on but that will do for now!
:lol: WOW - I love these! This is most definitely my favourite topic!! :lol:
Not having to share your Easter Eggs!! Ha ha! :lol:
I can have a mid life crisis* and there is no one to tell me to get a grip and grow up, although admittedly my sister has given me sort of this look that basically says all the above : )
*I bought a guitar and an amp, so I can relive my punk rock youth, just not quite as thinly, and a bit more quietly too as I couldn't quite afford a massive Marshall stack and besides I have to consider the neighbours now that I'm all grown up and mature and all that.
Ah yes, neighbours. I didn't have any where I was before, and do like my music loud (drowns out my singing! :lol: ) Soon as we know they're away, the stereo's turned right up!
I hope you're enjoying your guitar!
Happy Father's day.
I hope you got breakfast in bed!
I hope you got breakfast in bed!
Ha! no!
I was woken up by son demanding breakfast and then when I ignored him he started strumming my guitar, but that is my fault as the other day when they were both fast asleep I turned it on a bit loud and did one very loud twang which made my daughter actually leap in the air : )
sparklinglime wrote:
I hope you got breakfast in bed!
Ha! no!
I was woken up by son demanding breakfast and then when I ignored him he started strumming my guitar, but that is my fault as the other day when they were both fast asleep I turned it on a bit loud and did one very loud twang which made my daughter actually leap in the air : )
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
A day to remember then! :)
Hmm there are so many great things about being a single parent! My top 3 have got to be:
1- Knowing that when my son does his 'first' of everything i am the only one to see or hear it and i don't have to pretend i didn't see it just so he could see it later!
2- Seeing the boy grow into a perfect child and know that i made him that way. I always get complimented on his good manners!
3- Staying in our pjs all day and not going anywhere, doing any housework, talking to who i want and eating what we like!!
I also love the fact that the boy always tells me that he loves me and is very cuddly. I'm sure if his father wasn't around then we wouldn't be this happy! We hadn't got a lot in common and i think the 11 weeks we had together were enough .. Now i sound awful hahaha ..
Oh and the fact i got to pick his name was great!! I hated his fathers choices hahaha ..
Being able to go to the toilet and not having to hold the door closed with one hand because the ex didnt understand the concept of privacy.
Being able to talk to friends (EVEN MALE ONES!!) in the evening without being asked who you're talking to, what about etc
Not having to deal with partners yucky morning breath (YEURGH)
(This one probably only applies to me) Not having immature partner wiping snot on me because he thinks its funny. It's not.
Not being kept awake by the snoring.
And the beard shavings around the taps I think has to be the worst. At least in my house the bathroom is always clean.
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
A day to remember then! :)
In all fairness I choose to not celebrate Fathers day as its just another excuse for large corporations to make us go out and spend money AND! it was invented by the amerikans.
Christmas, Easter, Mothers Day, Valentines Day, Guy Fawkes night, Halloween and that doesn't include the never ending childrens parties I'm invited to, an endless stream of commercialism, there is hardly time to breath before I have to go out and spend money on stuff for fear of social ostracization.
There wasn't one when I was a kid, not that I remember anyway, but then maybe that was just something to do with my mothers attitude towards my dad, as in die die die you b*****d : ) my mum was like Joe Brand she used to march us around the garden going all men are bastards, all men are bastards. So maybe that was why Fathers day wasn't celebrated in our house. We were oblivious, as the rest of the world was out busily buying chocolate, cards and power tools from B&Q we were at home eating lentil soup and watching my mum scowl at my dad across the dinner table.
:)
I have a feeling i am on the verge of bahaving like your mother! VERY anti-man tonight!!
I think my mum instilled in me a sense of 'all men are generally stupid and only interested in football sex and beer' and not necessarily in that order.
It's been a confusing life for me : )
I know not all men are interested in the three basics! haha. I've met the odd one who has been but not all. I think another interest is cars! lol
I really hope that I don't turn my daughter against blokes. I try not to generalise or verbalise too much my sentiments.
We don't actually have any male role models as such in our lives, which does concern me at times - but we do have some pretty strong women ;)
Oh, aren't there any at Scouts? that's a shame. yes I think it is quite hard if you are a single mum and have had bad experiences of men, NOT to put them down to your daughters, but it is great that you are aware of that :D
Not really... :?
Eldest has got a summer job in a hotel - sadly one that's 14 miles away, but happily on a bus route. With minimum wage though, I don't think he'll end up with much in his pocket - however it's the work ethics that's more beneficial - and it fits in with Scouts and his Saturday job (they're really good friends of my mother-in-law, and all her children have worked for them). The chap came out to see me after and say hello.
Nothing local, but I will feel happy knowing he's there, actually.
I got to the car and drove without too much agony. Knee hurting now though. Thank goodness its better than it Friday.
Bubblegum, you had me in stitches with your All men are b******s! Very funny image I have in my mind.
'all men are generally stupid and only interested in football sex and beer'
Was your dad like this? Because you certainly don't come across as this type of male! Did your mother beat it out of you, or was it an adult conscious decision!!
My dad wasn't into any of the above, but maybe thats why I sought it out so desperately as a teenager! Poor misguided me!
Sparklinglime, I have to say that I try not to be negative about men around my daughter, but I also feel that it's great that I have learnt so much about them and I can share that with my girl.
I was brought up in the dark ages, a woman stayed at home and cooked and cleaned the house and the father wore the trousers. I ALWAYs used to defer to men, I still find myself doing it now :? (rarely though! usually on a down day!) I don't know why I thought that my brother might know more than me (yeah right!) and I am really glad to see that my daughter does not carry any of the tom-foolery with her! but she is not negative about them, just sees them as towering, smelly, immature wallies at the moment! (she is 14), but I am so glad that she sees them like that rather than a different hairstyle, outfit and boyfriend each week!
Great news that your son has found a job, its good for him to get straight out there. Glad to hear your knee feeling a tad better.
What else is the best thing about being a single parent?.......
The fact that this morning I got to watch my daughter try to put her dummy back in her mouth for nearly an hour, when she finally did manage she did a huuuge smile and the dummy promptly fell back out of her mouth.
i get those silly, cute moments all for myself and that makes me happier than any man possibly could.
This afternoon I picked up my son from nursery. When we got home we made home made raspberry milk shakes, then had a water fight in the garden to cool down, then made some masks. If my ex had been here we wouldn't have done any of that, he'd have been too busy moaning about where his tea was and telling my son to be quiet. Sometimes I wouldn't swap my life with anyone :D
xx
'all men are generally stupid and only interested in football sex and beer'
Was your dad like this?
No, nothing like that, not interested in football or cars, and having been divorced twice didn't have a particularly healthy view on women either : ) He always had his nose in a book, always! my memory of my dad is one of him sat on his chair a few books on the go around him, a glass of whisky, the Sunday Times and his Binoculars, he was an avid ornithologist and would periodically leap up and stair through his binoculars out the window and mumble something about birds.
He was a very gentle well spoken man, never raised his hand to me or shouted at me as far as I remember, I was much closer to my dad while growing up, I didn't have a very good relationship with my mum.
: )
Oh I wish I'd had a father like that. My Dad was never around when I was younger, I spoke to him a while back and he told me he was disappointed in me for having gotten pregnant so young. Needless to say I havent spoken to him since. Should have left the bridges burnt if I'm honest.
I think the fact that my father was never around is the reason I want my daughter and my ex to have a good relationship, though my grandmother told me the other day that while he may be her father, it doesnt make him a good dad. My grandmother makes more sense to me than anyone else ever.
Dear ov you :) My dad wasn't really there a lot when i was a kid although my parents were married. He's work and then stay at the pub for hours and if he wasn't there he wuld be rabbitting or fishing wth his mates. I remember spending time with him on the odd day but not any great length of time.
One of the best things about being a single parent is finding all the music that the boy loves and putting it on to suprise him. His little face lights up and he dances like a mad man hehe. Boom boom pow - Black Eyed Peas, Jolene - Dolly Parton and Man in the mirror - Michael Jackson are the newest ones! hehe.
my grandmother told me the other day that while he may be her father, it doesn't make him a good dad
Very true : )
I remember a film, The Breakfast Club, it's from the 80's but in it Judd Nelson said, you need a licence to fish, own a dog but any fool can be a parent, or something along those lines anyway..
My parents were very young when they had me, it was the 60's free love and drugs and all that and while they were still together and in love I have happy positive memories, we were always moving from place to place and living with colourful interesting people, least that's how I remember it.
Your daughter doesn't need a father if it's going to be detrimental to her development, One good parent is more than enough, surround yourself with happy positive loving people, that's what children need.
That's what I think anyway : )
later.
I love this saying ..
Any man can be a father but it takes a special man to be a daddy.
One good parent is more than enough, surround yourself with happy positive loving people, that's what children need.
Too true!!!! So be proud of your achievements, people, and proud of your lovely children!
I've jsut had the most amazing afternoon in the garden with the boy!! On our trip to Poundland we discovered butterfly catching nets, obviously for a pound. We came home had ice-creams to cool us downa nd then spent a while catching butterflies, well just the one!
He was so happy and loving the run! I am so proud of myself and what i have acheived by raising him this far and i am so proud that i can turn around and say ...
"you know what? I did this all by myself! The sleepless nights, the teething, teaching him to talk, helping him learn to walk, learning his manners and respect and most of all for making him realise that he doesn't need that waste of space around to drag him down!!"
I am only greatful to that man for one thing and that was his donation of his sperm hahahahaha :lol:
:mrgreen: Go me lol
That's fantastic, me and the boy, that you can see the result of all your hard (solo!) work, sounds like a lovely afternoon, too :)
The best thing about being a single parent is this moment right now .........we are sitting on the sofa at 8pm watching Igor and eating chips!!! Fabulous!
One of the other best things is being complimented on my beautiful, well-behaved (most of the time) and well-adjusted son and knowing that its because of ME!! :D :D :D
That sounds brilliant!
HOORAY!
I have another best thing, believing in myself! After years of questioning my every decision, I am now aware that the world is my oyster and no one can stop me!! :ugeek:
I still question my every decision.
But still I'm happy : )
Not having smelly man socks and underpants lying around....hahahaha....Joking.....
erm....the best thing is....??? being knackered??? nope....
being independent I suppose... not having to share the sofa when the kids are in bed.... not having to get cross with partners that think 3am is a good time to come home,,,, drunk....
and....being in my own house, having a bath when I want because its free, playing music that I like when I want.... I'll think of some more.... :idea: