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...when I hate my life. And with a passion too.
That Git left us in this mess. Because of him I lost control of my life. He has put us in this situation. A house so bloody narrow you can't even get a flaming bed settee out the house without a drama.
None of this was my asking. And even if this is the last step towards getting the living room back and possibly getting some sort of life back, tonight it is all too much. For all of us.
And it IS ALL HIS FAULT. He could have simply left. But to make it so we lost our home??
He is a total and utter b****rd. He gets on with his jolly flipping responsiblity free life leaving me to try and shift stuff which will leave me crippled now for days.
I don't want a reply.
Today I should perhaps be quietly thinking of my Dad who died 20 years ago.
Instead I hate my life. So much to be grateful for, I know. But today I hate my life.
My lot are bloody useless when it comes to anything like this. They really are. I resent the housing association too for putting me in this position.
I've had enough. I really have had enough.
Dearest sparklinglime, please do not apologise. This building work has been going on for months and it hasn't been plain sailing either.
Lots of empty promises and shoddy work.
And yesterday was a very important anniversary which should have been spent sitting in your front room with cups of tea and reminiscing on happy times
With all that is going on I am not surprised you are feeling so distraught and murderous.
I relaly hope that the men have turned up and started their work this morning.
Sparklinglime!
Big big big hug!!! xxxx
I don't really see why you're apologising for anything! But I do understand you feeling really down - it's a bit like sometimes we see a huge big mountain in front of us and we think we'll never get over (or on top) of that. And then, after a few days you start seeing a little path and the big mountain becomes lots of little hills and it gets a bit easier.
You say you think everyone is coping brilliantly - well, I don't think I am. I should be writing appeals for schools now, and contacting the CAB to see how to get my No3 son back into school, and instead I don't want to face it and am procrastinating. You have been fantastically helpful to me personally, just by giving me your thoughts and little snippets of wisdom.
I've had the house situation about ten years ago, so I understand how you feel. Then I went and slept for about two months (only got up to take the children to and from school and make their dinner) until I snapped out of it. So you are doing ten times better than I did then!
The thing is that normally we don't think about how hard it is; we just get on with stuff, but every now and then it hits us hard and we crumble a little bit. That's ok, you know, so you really mustn't be hard on yourself.
Big big hug and lots of virtual tea and I really hope you get the help you need and deserve xxxxx
Great post Hopeful 
Hello sparkling
I was off yesterday so this is the first chance I have had to respond to you. I had noticed you were much quieter than usual lately and hoped you were Ok.
The house stuff has a lot to answer for, doesn't it and I so know what you mean about everything getting on top of you. It does come and go and I think it's hard to remind ourselves during a low bit, that we WILL get through. Whilst I know that your house is not ideal, it does seem to beat strongly within you that that has been your refuge after all that has happened, and to have that disrupted must feel like the bottom has fallen out of your world.
Have the men made a start?
They have.
I've had such a good chat with him today - yesterday I ran away to the office as the noise was getting to me with hacking the plaster off.
By next weekend, we should be able to start painting, and then I can get the carpet out of the garage and down.
I feel better today.
It does feel as if the bottom of my world has fallen away though. I have to pull myself together.
Budget is now the new distraction!
HOORAY!
Just to make a rather vulgar joke.......The bottom has fallen out of your world but if you had had a vindaloo curry it would've been the other way round 
(sorry, but wanted to make you smile)
It is the hardest thing to get through the dark days and remind yourself it will pass, I always find it hard myself.
Here is something for you 
Thank you.
You do know how to make me cry!
I'd be lost without this site - and you, and H, and Anna and everyone...
xxxxxx
Hi Sparklinglime just read your post and louises post and cried too, it is hard when all the hard work you are doing gets on top of you, its like hopeful said we carry on most days regardless to what life throws at us, then it catches us off guard and it takes some time to pick back up.
Thinking of you dont be too hard on yourself you'l get there, sending big hugs xxx
Hi Sparkling. So sorry I missed this post, just seen it now. Like Anna said, the anniversary of your Dad should have been spent thinking of all the memories etc, but I know it must have been extremely hard for you with everything else going on. I think some days, most of feel when reading others posts, that we're not much use to them with so much going on in our lives, but I honestly think even if it's just to say 'thinking of you', it means a lot to the person who has posted, to know that someone has read it.
You are an absolute rock and a gem on here, and we'd be lost without you, so don't you dare disappear on us. Who would I moan too? hehe. As you're the perfect one, who would guide us into getting a saintly halo (I do have mine of course)
You're entitled to be angry about losing the house, for the smaller one, and everything else you've gone through. Yet you keep going, which proves how strong a person you are.
I hope you're ok. Loads of hugs. xxxxxx
Yes we love having you here, sparkling, and sorry I made everyone cry, hope it was "just" an acknowledgement of the journey we are making, and supporting each other as we go
Hi sparklinglime,
just read your posts, like everyone else I can totally understand where you are coming from, my tolerance for workmen in the house is very short, but you've had to put up with this upheaval for ages now, and have really not been able to relax whilst everything is topsy turvy, its not surprising its getting you down.
You are such a good friend to everyone here, you've said just the right thing to me at so many times, please don't disappear. keep posting even when you are down, i find just the process of typing those thoughts out somehow help it feel a tiny bit better, hope the same goes for you. Also my son and I have developed a theory that whenever one of us has a really bad day it is always followed by a much better one, hope the days keep getting better for you xx
I wish I could give you a hug. I have no magic words like so many of the clever posters on here, but just in real life I would give you a hug xx
So I'm sending you internet hugs instead x
Thank you - all of you.
xx
xxxxx
I'm not about much at the moment as I really don't know what to say to anyone.
I've discussed this with Hazeleyes. I wish I could help, and I can't. Words don't help things.
All I do is think of people, weep for them as I read what's going on and what they're facing so brilliantly.
I can't find the words to express how I feel.
Then I feel guilt as my life is so easy.
And yet today I hate it.
I'm so tired. So very tired, and yet can't stop. I can't even sit in a comfy chair for five minutes as I've not had an arm chair since May.
But I can't go to bed.
Have to get this room ready for tomorrow. And I bet the workmen will still moan, saying I have too much stuff and how the room should be empty. I can't empty it. I have no strength and now where to put stuff.
Sorry.
I'm so very sorry.