Things are going very well lately, A has got into abetter sleeping pattern, I had to chop and change a few of her naps around but mostly she goes to bed a lot later...some times this can be 11pm (late I know) but this means she sleeps though until 5am which means she gets a good rest and so do I :) some days she will skip the afternoon nap and fall asleep at 7pm then wake up around 1am but she just near enough goes straight back to sleep after half hour..still needs more work but getting there :D. As for her father since he told me about his gf being pregnant he's hardly in contact in between visits, txts have gone from every other day to once a fortnight, twice if lucky, he didn't even txt to see how A's hospital appointment went last week but I guess if a person loses intreast that fast and coz he now has a "new" baby then he didn't really care in the first place but at least he still visits her (wonder when that will stop) - HIS LOSE. I've now started dating a wonderful guy (had 1 short relationship since split with A's father) and things are going well, I want to take it slow as A is still young and don't want to mess things up if we rush into things. It's so nice to meet a guy who makes an effort and offers to pay when we are out lol. He still hasn't met A as I think it's still very early doors but I'm very happy in myself :)
Still only twice a month but his lack of intreast when he's on visits has gone down hill. She crawls up to him begging for attention but he just ignores her or only gives a smile, I've spoken to him before about interacting with her but to be honest I gave up a long time ago, I even gave him print outs of games to play with her and how a non residental show pay intreast in her day to day routine (thought I would help him out a little) but he read it and hasn't asked one question , ppl say I should be great fil he comes but why should I if he pays her no attention, she crawls to me and brings her toys to me so even thou she is little shehardly has any intreast in him coz he ignores her, it's a shame coz I really wanted her to have a father male figure :/
I know there is little you can do, it does sound that he doesn't really know how to interact with her. If you were keen to get them onto a different level you could find out if there are any father and baby groups where he could take her and learn some tricks.
To be honest, even though he is not playing the 'perfect' dad at the moment, he is still playing a role. She tries to interact with him, she knows he is there and that is their relationship, as she gets older and can talk to him, you may find their relationship changes.
I can hear your disappointment in him, but you know that as long as your daughter doesn't expect anymore from him than what he gives, it won't be harmful. You are there, supporting her, giving her love and attention, to her, he is just this chap who turns up every now and again.
I've already suggested parenting classes but he made up every excuse not to attend, I just see him as the bloke who turns up twice a month as he is far from being her dad, a dad doesn't lie about his familys health history putting his daughter at risk while in hospital coz he's to lazy to find out, a dad don't drop his child twice then pretend it didn't happen, a dad don't fake being sick so he can miss a cisit but go football with his mates instead....I could go on but don't have all night
*miss a visit
It makes such a difference when you can rest 
As the saying goes, anyone can be a father but it takes someone special to be a daddy.
You are facilitating the opportunity for your daughter to know her father whilst she is small and this is a positive thing. I know it doesn't feel like it right now and you are questioning your own motives, but in the long run, as she gets older and can leave the house with him, she will make up her own mind and so will he, as to how and what their relationship is.
I know its frustrating to see him letting her down time and time again, either at your house or when he doesn't show, but your daughter is aware of him and it is good that you are supporting her with this.
If I wanted to I could easily go to a court and stop his visits knowing they would agree with me as I e already looked into it and know I have a strong case but unless she's in danger I won't do that....it's her choice to make and I support her either way x
Good for you, that is a reponsible, brave and admirable stand Tinkerbell2, you will know when enough is enough, but you are giving them both a chance to know one another.
Well done I think sometimes it is all too easy to want to say No Contact, (although actually doing it is very difficult) so I do take my hat off to you for sticking with it for the time being.
Did you seek legal advice about the access? When you were told you had a strong case, was that because of your daughters health?
I took advice about his access and have video evidence of how he is with her (yes I secretly recorded him alone with her, well not really a secret as the camera was clearly on table) this visit showed him dropping her, her banging her head twice then him not even telling me- took her to be checked out after, all ok) and him neglecting her & not feeding, changing or giving her medications to her even thou he knows how to and how often....his visits are done at my flat with me always in the back ground now as he's not trusted alone...I have seemed to go to a contact centre but I have to be refured and things work out better at my place and he said he would prefer visits her too - it works for the time being
Hello Tinkerbell2
I have been away for a few days so just catching up. What a lovely post this was to read from you. I reckon you should feel proud of yourself, things have been very tough recently and yet you have kept going.
As for the sleep thing, yes there will still be bad times but it must feel great to think you have changed the pattern, I admired so much the way you stuck to your plan. I did exactly the same as you are doing with buba, thought about BOTH of us getting a solid sleep, even if it meant that eldest went to bed late in the first place then as he got a bit older and things settled down I started sneaking his bedtime forward a little every few weeks.
That sounds exciting about the new chap too
Thank you Louise......It's so nice getting more sleep, now i find that if she has a bad night I'm not waking up angry or frustrated..it's amazing how people take sleep for granted without even realising...we are both waking up in good moods feeling refreshed :)
Woohoo Tinkerbell2 - you cracked it! Persistance was the key! I am thrilled that you got through it! It sounds as though your confidence has risen because
1) Getting your daughter to sleep through is a massive achievement
2) You are getting a better nights sleep
3) You have someone paying you some attention
Well done you, big gold star for you this week!
Glad to hear that you are taking it slow with this new chap, just think of it as a bit of 'you' time and a bit of fun, who knows what the future holds, just have to enjoy the Now!
It will be interesting to see if your ex, does just disappear into the dust as time goes by. How often is he visiting now?