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Bit of background, out of an emotional abusive relationship that turned violent. Dragged through the courts other things to try and get the kids off me, making out I was an unstable mother. The usual I can't control you I will use other means to.
Court order agreed too and he didn't get what he wanted, but did get the compromise his way. The day after the court order he tried to change saying that his and my legal teams were liers and has changed what he can as often as he can.
Did the freedom program online here and found some support with ist forum which was shut down. That gave be an insight as what to do, or not and the potentail outcomes.
Now he wants to have the kids less, I have always gone back and said that any comumication about changes in the court order needs to be done via email first and then we need to go back and get it changed through the court. I have also pionted out that things that were assumed to be done naturally, like contact with the kids when they are away from the other parent was assumed, but he refuses to do that. They are too young to do this themselves and won't ask because of his reaction.
I thought I was doing really well, in control and not letting him get to me. Yet all it takes is an angry outburst on the email from him and I am back to chaking like a leaf and scared as hell as to what is coming. Yet I know that I am safe and that he can't get to me and that if he choses to hurt his kids then that is his choice and not mine. But I am still right back there only its worse because there is no grounding...
B***er. Thanks if you got this far and thanks just for being there at the begining of a new battle... all because I fell for the wrong man. B****er again
IMO we can not allow certan things they do to effect us only to a certan extent
There will be things/ triggers that bring back our fears.
That feeling of being safe takes a long time to come sometimes and simply moving away in a new house etc does not bring with it that feeling, it's very unsettling.
I believe you are doing really well, but it takes time to lern that we are not in danger when we feel like we are
Take care x
Hi suneagle
It can take along time to overcome the effects of an abusive relationship, especially when you are still in contact with the person that perpatrated the abusive.
Do you have friends or family that are supporting you? if you do are you able to talk with them about how you feel? Are you able to attend a Freedom Programme that runs locally to you? the online course is great but many women benefit more from attending a group aswell.
Something else to consider is counselling if you haven't already received any. Have you had any contact or support from a domestic abuse service?
Thank you all for the support.
Wobbles are very much allowed and although it seems frustrating to you, the way you feel before/during/after a wobble is actually helpful as it reinforces the original decision you made 
The aftermath of leaving an abusive relationship is delightfully isn't it I was surprised that's it's not this perfect straight road we all walk down ( don't know what planet iv been on)but I was wrong. We start our journey at the begining of a straight road honey but it soon turns and twists, a bit like dorathy, sign post popping up all over the f***ing place with arrows pointing in every direction designed to confuse us. It's a shame about there not being a freedom program near you but if you complete the online one you should get the book, and we are here to help
Yes, shame there aren't any signposts, but the blips do help us in the long term. You can look back on a month or so and see how far you have come.
Flashbacks can be very difficult to cope with but I am glad that you have had some help with flashbacks and although it took a while to come back from it, you were able to recognise it suneagle, therefore another step closer to freedom.
Hi suneagle. Welcome along. I'm sorry you're dealing with an ex like this. I guess when you get an angry e.mail from him, it's bound to shake you up, which is probably what he is hoping for, plus a reaction out of you. The main thing here (I think) is that you know you're safe. If he wants to see less of the children, then I suppose that is his choice. I'm not sure if you have to go back to court, (no experience of this) but please do keep posting as someone will be along at some point who can help.
We're all here to support you, so like I say, keep posting.