This site is an archive of the OneSpace Forums. Return to forum index.
Hi guys,
Just canvassing for opinion really...
More nonsense is being said in my daughters playground by the children (tut tut) and I was approached by one of my daughters friends mums in a bit of a panic saying that some of the boys had been talking about sex in school to her daughter (they are all 7/8 year olds). She wanted to warn me that my daughter may ask me some uncomfortable questions.
I said to her well my daughter already knows about sex because I have spoken to her about it. The look of horror on this womans face had me question myself. infact I am certain she is going to stop her daughter playing with mine now 
The thing I didnt tell her was I pretty much explained sex to my daughter when she was 6. She came home after hearing more mumbles on the playground and straight out asked me what it was. My belief has always been to answer questions from your children so I explained it to her advising it is something you do when you are older with someone you love etc. And I also told her not to talk about those things in school because they are private things that adults do.
Now I wonder if I was wrong to tell her so young? I mean I think my plan worked because she has never asked any questions about it since and she didnt get involved with the recent murmurs in school. But I asked a couple of my friends who have similar aged children and they said there is no way they will talk about it yet with their kids.
What do you guys think?
I can't remember how old my lot were. But I have always answered their question in as simple terms as I could for their age. Sometimes they'd run off happy, sometimes they'd ask more questions...
I agree with Louise, if your daughter is asking, you can give age appropriate answers, much better hearing it from you than tittle tattle in the playground.
It is always good to keep communication open with our children about sex (and drugs once asked, or as they get older), we don't want them to hear misguided information. TV offers so many opportunities to have these discussions.
If you wanted to know more about these discussions in the playground that your daughters friends mums is concerned about, could you ask your daughter? Perhaps in an off hand sort of way 'oh I heard some children were being silly talking about sex in the playground the other day, did you hear them?'
Thanks guys, I think that womans reaction really had me doubt myself and it seems most the people round me havent spoke to their kids about these things. My daughter is quite mature though I think I asked her what the boys were saying and she told me (they were making reference to two teachers having oral sex - but using a more obscene word!!!) I asked her what she felt about what they said (because I havent told her about that) and she just said "mum those boys are always being silly, they just make stupid things up and i take no notice" I was happy with that. Obviously not happy about what these boys said but I know that in the local shop outside the school there is a pick up point for some high school children and I have heard them use this language a few times (and told them off) so I assume these little boys are copying them. They arent my children so not much I can do about it no point freaking out unless my little one is affected.
Have to agree with you guys, i have told all mine about sex from youngish ages, though with the first (my son) i did put it of as long as i could, my hand was forced one day when him and his friend came and asked me if "ladies can have babies by themself" to which i off handly said "yes" to then when they were walking away i heard my son say "i told you ladies don't need men to have babies"
When i had got to the bottom off their discussion, my son thought that me being a single parent and that most of my friends at that time were single parents and with no males around that ladies had babies by themselves, and he was arguing this with his friend, who had a dad around and an older brother whom had been telling him differently.
I have since then rather tell them what i want them to know appropriate for their age then having some kid whose heard "who knows what" from an older sibling.
When I was little I belived that I was delivered to my mum in a blanket by a Stork (bird). When I was in my last year of primary school my friends tried to tell me where I came from and how I was made I was so distressed by it the teacher had to call my mum to come and get me from school lol This is why I wanted to be as straight as I could with my little girl.
I see what your saying too Louise about this over sexualistaion of children. My girl does have an 'I luv Justin Beiber' Tshirt which my boyf objected too but I thought about it and I had loads of tshirts of Michael Jackson when I was younger and some Bros (remember them lol) jeans so i felt that is innocent enough. However I did go in to a highstreet shop to get my daughter a swimming costume for our holiday a couple of years ago and was disgusted to see actual triangle-cut bikinis for 6 year olds! My daughter immediately kicked up a stink for wanting one of those but there was no way I was letting her. I even made a formal complaint to the chain for having them. Its one thing for children to want to immitate adults (I remeber dressing up in mums heels etc all the time) but when stores actually create adult clothes for children I think it is way too far!
Hello littleangel
I would think this is a matter of personal choice but on the whole I would say "if they are old enough to ask the question, they are old enough to hear the answer" Of course as parents we will use the sort of language our children will understand.
The other thing to bear in mind is that quite a few girls start their periods by the age of ten these days and so presumably the changes in their bodies start happening by nine....better that the girls know what is happenign to their bodies!
All this playground chatter is between children whose parents have NOT been open and and honest with them as you have with your daughter. Let's face it, talk of "sex" is everywhere in the media (I don't neccessarily approve of it but just think of programmes like the X Factor... and when I was in a card shop last week they had One Direction birthday age cards, for ages starting at seven!!!)
Personally I think you have done the right thing. I have always been open with my boys. I thought well they don't have their dad around to tell them things so it was really important to cultivate that degree of honesty.