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Hi, I would like some advice if at all possible please. I moved house with my new partner and 2 children 2 years ago, at the time my ex was not happy about this because we moved to the next town 26 miles away, he did all he could to stop us moving so to pacify him we agreed to share the travel so it wouldn't be so expensive for him to see the children on a weekly basis. However, since then (2 years ago) I have split up with my partner and i cannot drive so this has caused an issue with my ex and he thinks i should bring them to him on the bus at my own expense (it would cost around 45 pounds door to door and a 2 n half hour trip one way, thats with me returning home n going back the next day to pick the kids up) I really cannot afford to do this. My ex has a very expensive to run vehicle and is refusing to change to a more economical vehicle. I have offered £20 towards the petrol but apparently it's not enough. Can anyone advise me where i stand with the cost of travel etc and who's responsibility it is to pay? He told my daughter on the phone yesterday that the reason he couldn't see them is because i "couldn't be bothered" which of course is a lie i am now wondering what else he has been planting in their heads whilst i'm not around??? thank you, Emma
thank you for your quick response. That is what I hoped would be correct. We have an arrangement for the last 8 years he has been paying 150 a month without going through the csa and this has never risen nor have I asked for anymore (as i know what his answer would be) He should never have said those things to a child it was unfair and untrue and I would never in a million years do that to my child :( She knows why I can't afford the buses so at least she knows I am not a fibber. Many thanks. Any advice what I should do now? Should I just let him worry about how he is going to see them?
I would be inclined to let sleeping dogs lie, just for a few days, he will probably be in touch pretty soon
Will do that thank you
Hello emmapar and welcome
The cost of travelling to see the children normally rests with the parent who is coming to see them BUT if that parent is paying child support at the CSA rates then the CSA would (if making a ruling) take his travel costs into consideration. It depends on what your child support arrangements are (and if you want more info and guidance about that then please do email our Child Support expert)
I think your offer of £20 is very fair. It is a great shame that he is telling your daughter things like that. Please do resist the temptation to retort "Actually it's because your DAD couldn't be bothered", just say something like, "I am not able to afford the bus fare at the moment, I am happy to give dad some money to help with petrol", and change the subject.
Whilst I understand it must have been upsetting and annoying for him that you moved house, it is his choice to run an expensive vehicle and it is all about priorities.