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Hi ive been a single parent for nearly 6 years now, I have a 5 year old son soon to be 6 on sunday. Up until now things have been great he was a reasonably easy child to bring up until the day he started school thats when the trouble started. He started school in september 2009 the school he got accepted to wasn't the one i chose but only available place left, he was only there for 3 months before i transfered him to a different school for his behaviour became very bad, he was getting bullied therefore his anger was out of control and i managed to receive the brunt of his frustration on a daily basis.
He moved to his new school in january 2010 and i was very pleased it was a highly recommended school. He was understandably behind most of his school mates in class and the teachers became concerned about his progress but they were offering him more support which was great. Now he's been there nearly 2 years and he is still behind in class. I help out in class once a week and he is very behind with his writing and reading and his behaviour is still bad, so bad that he is resorted to telling lies about me. Last year he told his teacher that i threw him downstairs which made them call social services, he finally admitted he was lying and no further action was taken but a social worker did get involved. They came to the house to visit us and i thought that he was making some progress, they tought me how to communicate with him and tought him how to communicate with other people about his feelings.
His father hasn't always been on the scene but since he's come back into his life the trouble has started but my son loves spending time with him. He went to his dads last sunday and once again told lies about me hurting him, didn't take him long to admitt to lying again but was still very upsetting for me. Now he is getting into trouble at school for lying, just seems to be one thing after another and i am not getting much support from anyone i feel like its my fault and i feel like such a failure as a mother i need help but dont no where to turn
Hi singlemum. Welcome along to One Space. Really sorry you're going through this with your son. Apart from speaking again to the school, and asking for help (again), I'm not sure what else to suggest.
I do know that once my son, now 8, started school, he was also an easy child. I didn't have any problems, but it seems once they hit school age, then the difficulties begin. I haven't experienced what you're going through though.
Is his Dad supportive of you? What I mean is, does he tell your son how wrong it is to tell lies? Are the social services still involved?
School nurses are really good too, certainly worth having a chat to her as she can have both sides of the story ie school and home and should be able to advise you as to who to approach xxx
Hi
I'm sorry things are not so good at the moment.
I was wondering if your son has been assessed for dyslexia? I have two friend's whose children had difficulties with reading and writing, and dyslexia was diagnosed when they got to college.
I wonder if trying not to react to the lies (perhaps easier now as other significant adults are aware that he can lie) will make him lose interest in it, and trying to focus attention onto something else - even if its drawing a picture.
I'm sure he's looking forward to his birthday, and that you're able to have a great time celebrating it.
Hello...
I have lieing issues with my son at times, I did a bit of reading up on the subject and one reason children lie, appart from fear of punishment, as that is a pretty common one, is because of low self esteam, and I read your post and noticed you mentioned your son was behind at school, my son is also, with his reading and writing and most of his lying that I hear is based around making himself seem more interesting or trying to appear better than who ever he is around.
He has also on occasion lied about me hurting him, I once patted him on the head as I walked past him sat on the stairs (he was there for time out) patted him as you might a dog to say hello... anyway, he threw him self down the stairs and roled about on the floor all dramaticaly claiming I'd pushed him.
Stuff like that.
Excuse my spelling, not only can I not get spell checker to work I spilt a cup of coffee on my keyboard last nigh and now most of the keys stick or don't work.
: )
But I just thought I'd share that with you.
If you do a quick google for "why children lie" you will find a 'lot' of information on the subject... so I guess it must be pretty common : )
Later.
Off to take my son to his first Karate lesson... not sure if it's such a good idea on reflection : )
Hi singlemum26
Welcome to One Space. I hope you feel reassured by the experiences others have had. It is NO reflection on you!
It is difficult for him to be behind in class. The school should be providing some extra back-up for him and the others have mentioned dyslexia. What does your son like doing? There is something to be said for him spending time doing something he IS good at. Art, sports, dancing, whatever....and praise him like mad when he does well.
Children often blame themselves for parental separation so he might be thinking he is rubbish because you split up then thinking he is rubbish at school as well, so saying that you hurt him can temporarily make YOU the baddie and therefore relieve the pressure on him. He is not old enough to think of the consequences of such a lie.
I would normally recommend a book at this point but from what you say, he might not be the biggest fan of books so how about you getting a book or two, learning the plot and then telling him the story yourself (not reading it), you can do the voices and ask him to join in......and even act out the story with puppets once he knows the story (children like things over and over again) I am thinking of the stories of Peter and the Wolf and also this Arthur book, for example.
Stay with us, we can give you a lot of support 
Hi singlemum26, welcome to one space xxx
You will receive lots of support and great advice on here so please to keep posting.
You are NOT a failure as a mum xxx You have clearly asked for help and also accepted help when it has been offered.
Have you been to see your GP about your son? I think that is worth a go, I am not qualified in anyway to tell you what is bothering or wrong that your son behaves this way, however, lots of children on the autistic spectrum do make stories up and can struggle with school work, it is a long hard road to get a firm diagnosis but the earlier you start the better for the child, I`m not saying that your son will be on the spectrum but it is well worth exploring, if you google Aspergers you will be able to read about it and see if you can identify and traits that your son might show.
This is only one suggestion for you to ponder xxx
Other will be along either today or tomorrow to offer advice too so please keep checking xxx