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I feel I have to write about the lack of fairness in father's not having to make any contribution to their child's cost of education or indeed living when they go to University
My ex husband has taken the position that if the law doesn't make him pay i.e. through CSA, he will not make any contribution to supporting her.
Despite the fact he is in full time employment, two children (current marriage) at private school, a holiday home etc etc Though it doesn't seem fair that I, the Mother should take all the responsibility for my daughter's care I am more concerned about the message Daughters are taking that they don't care and Father's that they don't need to support or be responsible for their child and furthermore it is acceptable to use the Student Finance facility and run up debts.
You've probably heard this all before but having received a call from the CSA today saying that he would have had to support her if she did a BTEC, you can imagine my frustration that University isn't deemed as worthy of a father's support!
I've been told the only route is legal and my daugher should sue her father. Yes that's really going to help the non existent relationship she has with him!!!
I'm already hardening up to the fact that should be son get into university next year then he will have to go for the loans and grants. Other than £58 a month CSA for the four children, he does not help with anything.
It is wrong.
I know my son won't go after his Dad for help - he did try last year by asking his Dad to pay for the theory test, but the answer was no. But then had he said yes I think my son may have fainted.
My son has recently got a job in Halfords though, and I'm so pleased as he will be able to get a transfer and carry on working.
Hello Baldrick
What you have been told is true: that she can sue her dad for some financial support whilst at Uni, and as a student it is almost certain that she would be entitled to Legal Aid. If her relationship is non-existent anyway, and he is so far estranged from her that he does not WANT to give her any money voluntarily then it is worth considering, in my opinion. Whatever the law says, he could still help her out if he wanted to.
Have you gone through the grant application process? with you as "sponsor" etc? My son is at Uni at the moment, and manages very well with his grant/loan, a part time job of 20 hours a week and only occasional help from me. However, I take the point that it is not actually the money you are objecting to, it is the law that enables her dad to "wash his hands of her", financially? Let's be clear here, however, a young person that lives with their dad and whose mother was absent could well find the same thing from their mother, AND....(and this will be an unpopular view, I am anticipating) you are not totally responsible for her care, she is 18 and therefore an adult and responsible for herself to some extent, and most students work to supplement their incomes.
I share your concern about the large loan debts today's students are incurring, however, and I do think that is giving them the message that to owe loads of money is OK!