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Quick background - Left xh 4 1/2 years ago; divorced after 2 year separation; after separation and before divorce we went to mediation and both signed a deed of separation that we agreed that I would get 2/3 of the value of the marital home on our daughters 13 birthday (5 years after separation), none of his pension, £20 into childs bank account, contact every weekend.
Problems - He signed the deed without legal advice. There is no court order. My solicitor said that claiming for ancillary relief was too expensive and that a deed of separation was the favourable option. He did not advise of any court orders to seal the agreement.
2011 - XH tried to manipulate me into giving up my caution on the land registry, or giving the bank permission to let him add his debts (post separation) to the mortgage. I refused.
1 year ago - XH's son asked me if I would consider renegotiating the agreement. He asked me not to tell his dad that he asked.
Today - XH has offered me 1/3 of the value of the marital home. Full Stop.
I am going to make an appointment with my solicitor asap. Meanwhile, I am angry, upset and very worried.
Hi Louise,
I left xh because he was threatening to harm my eldest. He was using her to control me. So I have been renting while he stayed in the marital home. He has been paying the mortgage while I have care of his child. (The eldest 2 are from a previous relationship).
Anyway, I saw a solicitor today and he seemed quite taken aback that xh is refusing to honour the agreement that we made. He said that I should be entitled to 1/2 the value of the house, half of his pension based on 10 years we were married. As xh didn't want me to have any of his pension, then 2/3 house is fair. He said as he believes that no judge would grant me less than what xh is offering now, it is worth going to court.
He suggested that before going ahead with the court, that I should 'put the frighteners on' xh and tell him that if he does not settle with the original agreement, then I will take him to court for 2/3 value of the house as the original agreement PLUS 5 years rent (half of what the house would be rented for, because he has lived for 5 years in a house that is half mine) less half the mortgage paid over 5 years, PLUS child maintenance and spousal maintenance.
So I will tell xh this tomorrow evening. Solicitor says in the meantime, he will discuss with his senior partner (barrister) to see how much of a case I have, and let me know.
Well that all sounds very positive, Rosedragon! Courts look to preserving a home for the children and so fingers crossed you will get that fair settlement.
Hi Rosedragon
Well you have no court order but you have a deed of separation, you will have to see what your solicitor says. It may be that you can submit the deed for ratification, it may be that your children's dad will want to have a new court action to settle your finances. Even if that happens, it does not mean that he will get his own way, but the situation will be looked at by the court. The person who has the day to day care of the children and is paying the mortgage is usually given the lion's share anyway as the court's main priority is to maintain a home for the children. It is quite unusual not to have the finances at least rubber stamped by the court, though, and this could be a good thing as it will get things set in stone.
Let us known what the solicitor says.