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Just came across this website hope it helps, been divorsed for over a year but the crap still manages to come through.
My Kids live with me and go their dads every other weekend, my youngest daughter swims for a club and has a gala tonight, I have been threatned and black mailed and told not to go if I go he will throw me in the pool and take my daughter home and she wont get to swim, it seems to me that if I dont go he's won?
Any advise out there would be appreciated
Hi scoobydoo500, welcome to One Space
How sad for you that this has happened. Surely you can go along and watch your daughter, you don't have to sit with her dad. If you do decide to go then maybe wait a while and just go in at the last minute. As sparkling lime says, he could not throw you in the pool without commiting an offence, and in front of many witnesses.
Does he threaten things on a regular basis? Was he abusive when you were together?
didnt go as I had another text stating he would drag her out the pool if I turned up and I would have to explain to the coaches as to why. it is very sad that he cant sit in the same place as me but think he is causing himself a big problem with my girls and eventually they wont want to go and stay with him, think he is a very bitter male that cant cope with how close I am with the girls.
Just come back from the police and logged a complaint as this is classed as harrasment and its not good for the children.
Your right Louise it is very sad, I have had this for 4 years, financially he has not supported the girls and because I have gone through the CSA this is what I get daily weekly monthly. Men hey.
He wasnt abusive when we were together only since we have spilt up, its a shame because he is making me stronger to fight back and eventually he will slip up.
I'm sorry you missed the gala, but understand why.
I'm sure your daughter will enjoy telling you about it though.
I used to have issues with my ex when my youngest played football.
Hi scoobydoo500
Sorry that you did not get to see your daughter but you did the right thing by reporting it ot the police. If you do this every time something happens then it begins to show a pattern of behaviour. I would also suggest that you get yourself an exercise book and keep your own record of dates and occurences, and also record any incident numbers that the police may give you.
When are the girls back?
Hi scoobydoo500
I'm really sorry to hear what happened to you. It's really heartbreaking when someone can't see the wood for the trees like that. Kids just want to be able to love both their parents end of.
My hopefully soon to be ex tried to do something similar to me with my little one. The little one wanted both of us to support her in an event. I went to him to discuss the possiblity of us doing that. He said no way because I was a 'liar and a hypocrite' and threatened to make a scene if I turned up. He then told little one that I couldn't go which was very upsetting.
I reassured little one that even though Daddy was angry and upset we were the grown ups and it was up to us grown ups to solve the problem 'how to get mummy and daddy to support little one without fighting'.
Luckily I knew the person organising the event so I asked them if me being there would be a problem. They said I should attend because it was a really important event that both parents should be present for and if he did try anything he would be asked to leave.
I let my stbx know that I would be there. I went and stood at the back. He didn't cause a scene. I kissed my kid and quietly slipped away at the end.
Is this the weekend they're with their Dad?
Personally, I'd have thought that as it was a gala, who ever had the children that weekend shouldn't come into it, and both parents be able to support the child.
If he was to carry out his threat, you would be able to call the police as it would be assault.
I don't really know what to suggest, as really which parent wins isn't the issue. The issue is that your daughter is in a gala and would possibly be chuffed to bits if both parents were watching. Surely there's enough space for you both to watch and be away from each other?