I was in a violent relationship, , you ex would threatened to blow my house up, abuse my dogs, pin me up against walls, pull my hair, push me off the sofa when pregnant, the last straw was he tried to strangle me to death, that night I left, to receive death threats if I didn't allow him at the birth, so I allowed him, he seen my son once after the birth to which he punched me down below and in my stomach, so I stopped access to receive more death threats, and to have me taken away and murdered, and a phone call to which he will get access to my son and kill my son to make me feel how he feels, 7month later he's now at solicitors for access, I was wondering what chance does he stand? My son is my life and I know what the fate will be if this so called man gets access :'(
Hi Demim welcome on this website as there are many on this website in similar situations but maybe in a different stage that can give you advice.
What a difficult situation you are in, is there going to be a Fact and Find Hearing and what does your solicitor say ? Are there any people that can make statements for you on his behaviour and have any professionals like the GP or police been involved ?
Have Social Services been contacted or Cafcass ? It is very important to gather as much evidence as you can. I feel for you and your son having to go through all this ...
Anna can you do another link ? This one is not working for some reason, thank you :)
The link should work properly now.
Thank you Sally that link is very helpful 
I had been to police and doctors, I have received a solicitors letter asking for access which for clear obvious reasons I refused, I have been to 2 solicitors which basically say well if he gets access he gets it, so not use, I am also working with safer family's x
It is very helpful for your case to have been to doctors and police, but yes Social Services and Cafcass in principle think it is in the best interest of the child that contact takes place and only in extreme circumstances will access be denied that is why it is so important to have proof/evidence. It is also important to show that you are not against contact in itself, but you would like this in a safe environment.
Women's Aid and Rights for women www.rightsofwomen.org.uk) are also very helpful, it is a very hard battle as you just want your child safe.
We will support you as much as we can. The parenting specialists on here are very helpful and knowledgable. The legal expert on this website can also be helpful, you should try it demim x
Hi demim
It's good to hear that you have someone supporting you with this, it is understandable that you don't want this man around your children but as Skyflower said the courts will have a different view about him having contact.
You could recommend that he only have supervised contact, i know this is probably not what you would like to happen but it would show you as willing to do what is best for your children.
Has Safer Families suggested anything you could do?
This man will not be near my child if it's over my dead body, he's says he will wait and wait and when courts give him access and he's left alone with my child he will kill my son, yes safer family's have advised I dissappear
How long is it before court will say no you haven't seen the child for so long so they refuse any contact, is it 2yr?
demim,
try to record what he says
The problem is, demim, that if they think you are obstructing visits, they can take your child off you,
I am not sure, why not ask the legal expert on here, they must know
Are you sure there is such a rule as my neighbours ex partner had not seen the child since birth and has now requested visiting through Court and the child is 4
Yeh my safer family's adviser says it may go over his time period anyways and they won't allow if
I am so glad you have a good adviser that you can trust can they tell you the time period?
Probably can I've just never asked, I will phone Monday and ask as she only works Monday to wenesday
Yes let me know what she says, great you can ask ! It is so hard sometimes too get good advice and sometimes solicitors all work together to help the judge move the case forward instead of advising you properly. Speak soon let me know how you are doing
Hi demim, would Safer Families be able to help you move away if that is what you wanted to do? I think that he could try to still go for contact though if you move away.
You could post some questions about this to our Legal Expert (click for link) he should also be able to tell you if there is a time frame for not having had contact.
Yes they are helping me to move at the moment as I'm at high risk of domestic violence with my ex knowing where I live
That is great news demim, people helping you to move away, when are you going ?
Hi demim, Skyflower makes a very good point.....are you keeping a record of everything that has been said, with dates and places?
Your ex threatening to kill your son is a really important statement that needs recording.
I have never heard of a court denying contact due to the length of time the parent hasn't seen their child, I am interested in hearing more about this.
It is very rare that an abusive ex partner doesn't get contact, unless he has been violent towards the child. Did you decide not to have a solicitor?
I'm leaving getting a solicitor for now, but the violence started because he wanted to kill my child inside me
That is so very very sad demim, so very very sad x
Hi denim,
what a terrible experience to have gone through! But it sounds like you are doing the right things, and that you are doing things to protect yourself and your child.
Safer Families are great, it's good that you are in touch with them. Like Sally said, post a question to our legal adviser if you are in doubt about what is best, he will answer you within a week. And skyflower is right, record everything and keep in touch, we want to know how you are doing!
Hi demim and welcome to One Space, it sounds as though you have experienced some horrific behaviour from your ex.
Did you ever report this behaviour to the police? Have you ever accessed domestic abuse support services?
You might find some useful information in our article entitled Single Parent Guide for Being Taken to Court By Your Violent Ex.
Have you received a letter from your ex's solicitor, or has he just threatened this?