This site is an archive of the OneSpace Forums. Return to forum index.
Last night C was getting ready for bed, and was happily chatting away, when he told me something quite disturbing. He started by saying that he needed to tell somebody something hoping it would make it better. Next he said he'd sometimes be doing something and he'd get a kind of voice telling him to put a snooker ball in his mouth. It has happened to him about 5 times he said. I asked what he'd done, and he admitted putting the ball in. You can imagine my reaction. I gave huge lectures on how dangerous it was, Jesus, the ball could get lodged in throat, and even told him he could die if that happened. He knows all of this anyway!! He said it was something he had to do. I listened to all that he had to say, then I told him for safety reasons, I would take the snooker balls away from him and he could only play when I was in the room. Without kicking up any fuss, he actually agreed with me!!! I've now put them somewhere high.
I told him to try and explain about these voices. He described it as like being in a dream, when you think the noises you hear are real, another example was, he told me to think of something, like McDonalds!! Asked if I could hear anything, well of course I couldn't, but that seemed to frighten him, he then asked can you not hear someone telling you how delicious it is?
Sounds so crazy doesn't it? I had to ask if the voices told him to do other stuff, and he said no. Relief!!! This surely isn't normal is it? Anyone any experience of this sort of thing?
How worrying. The Macdonalds thing I am guessing would be from TV adverts.
I hope you don't mind but I had a chat to my son about the snooker ball thing, to ask him if he had experienced anything similar. His take on it was that it is all about a child's assessment of risk-taking, he said he had wondered the same about jumping off a high wall and that was like a voice as he decided whether or not to do it. As for the feeling he "had to", he said he felt it was about a child's development of self control. Now, if he is right (and neither he nor I are psychologists) then a way to tackle it might be to say that if C hears the voice he could "answer" it and say "I don't have to do anything you say, I am my own person" (NB make sure he knows he can only say this to the voice, not to YOU hehe)
There is a balance to be struck here: between keeping C safe and paying attention to any escalation that might lead you to have a chat with the GP versus making a great deal of it and it becoming a massive anxiety for you both.
Thankyou both. First post was very rushed, as this will be too. Getting ready for school etc. We've not mentioned it this morning. I was going to have a chat with him on the way to school, but friend texted to see if I would walk her daughter.
That was great Louise, asking your son, and very interesting, his answer on it. Smart Boy. I didn't want to approach the GP, as like you say, they could make a big deal out of it, and it could be perfectly ok. I might suggest to C that he makes notes if and when he hears them again, and what they are saying etc.
I cannot understand the ball thing though, as when he was in Reception, he put a ball in his mouth, swallowed it, and then panicked. I had to call the NHS direct over it. Luckily the ball emerged a few days later. So he knows how dangerous it is, and what the outcome could be. Think I'm more concerned with that at the moment.
Got to log off now, am not even washed, dressed nothing. Got volunteering this morning too. Be back later, hope you're both ok this morning, and thankyou. xxx
Ah....there's your clue. He did it when he was younger and KNOWS it is dangerous. Logically you and I would think "well surely that would definitely make him NOT do it again, then".....whereas he is thinking in terms of what would be the most risky thing he could do and his personal experience of this makes this an option (he knows you tell him about crossing roads and not talking to strangers but he personally has not experienced these as dangerous).
Hi hazeleyes, do hope you are ok, it must be worrying for you xxx
Just in from volunteering. I couldn't get into really with the children. Kept going over and over this thing and C.
I didn't show concern with him over the voices in head, but did about the ball. I've just been getting visions of him doing it, choking, not being able to call me, and then that's it. The size of the ball would lodge in his throat, no question of that. Anyhow, like I said earlier, they are now out of his reach. I'm just going to do a search on net to see if there's any info or anything.
I imagine you cant think of anything else right now, is there anything bothering your son at the moment, like the tests at school or something like that, I`m just wondering if anxiety can cause things like this, could it be to do with the incident with the guy last week? I`m definitely no expert, just a thought xxx
Hi hazeleyes
I have been surfing the net to find out more information.
Here is an article that was on the BBC called Voices in the head are normal, that was quite a reassuring read.
Then I found an organisation called Hearing Voices, they have a confidential helpline: 0845 122 8642, they also have group meetings all over the country, which is the link I have posted in the org. name.
On a page from a website called Pippa's World there are some useful tips that might be helpful to pass on to C.
At this point I would try not to worry about it too much. Keep communication open, but try and keep any fear out of your voice. It sounds as though you are handling it really well, but knowledge is empowerment, so I hope that you learn some more from the above websites or numbers.
Will you contact them? If you do, please let us know what they say, or how you are feeling, also if you find out anything else from your internet search.
This is a new one to me, although looking on the net I am surprised how common it is.
It sounds like it could be a mixture of things. I think Louise's son is very clever too!
Hi Anna. Thankyou for that. I did ring the number, but that is no longer available. From your link, I scolled down and got a number that was quite near to me, they gave me another number!! I was told in the first instance to take C to my GP who would then refer him. For now though, I'm not going to take him, I will just play it by ear so to speak. It could be a one off. Like you, I too was surprised at how common it is, which is why I think I would leave it for now. It does say about trauma sometimes being the cause, and listed a few. One of the those listed was abuse, which as you know, he was, but that was 4 years ago, so I can't say it's because of that. I do remember my GP saying at the time, that it could later on in years show itself, by C becoming angry and stuff, but voices weren't mentioned.
I don't really want to broach the subject again with C, (probably me being scared more than anything), but I'm sure he'll mention the snooker balls at some point, then I shall have to address it maybe. He generally was concerned last night, and also kept saying that now he had told me, perhaps it would all stop. Seeing and hearing his concern of course made me worry, but if by him talking about it has helped, then that's good eh.
Hi hazeleyes
I too wondered about the abuse that he encountered 4 years ago. It might have been that sleeping in an environment that was unfamiliar to him, brought back feelings that he didn't understand/remember.
I agree with you about playing it by ear. You could go rushing off to GP, however you don't want to make a mountain out of a molehill. Not that I am saying it isn't serious, it is, but it seems you are prepared to find out a bit more about it from C if he wishes to talk about it. You may find that you can manage it without intervention.
I liked Louise's son's suggestion, that he could say to the voice 'Don't be silly, I'm not stupid enough to actually do as you say'
I am so sorry to send you offon a wild goose chase. It didn't sound as though the people you phoned were particularly helpful.
Keep us updated so we can support you if you feel it is getting more serious.
Completely baffled now. C spoke about the snooker balls, and made doubly sure that i had removed them all. Thought at that point it was a good idea to bring the subject up. Now he is saying he was tired last night, didn't mean voices but he gets a feeling. Blimey, I just haven't got a clue now!!! Told him to write down any feeling, voice, or whatever it is, and then we will go from there. I simply do not understand this at all.
Thankyou everyone for the advice. xx
The other thing I wanted to say was do you remember last year on Britain's got Talent there was a man who swallowed things including snooker balls.....so he has maybe seen that too?
Oh no Louise 
Watching the programme now might have jogged his memory. Yes that could be it. Anna also mentioned about sleeping in an unfamiliar place might have brought back feelings. I hadn't thought of that either. C did have a sleepover last week, never slept there before, and he also told me he was tearful, but said he had missed me. He is so open with me, that I'm sure he would have mentioned anything else he might have remembered or whatever.
Britain's Got Talent is going to be banned from now on, lol.
xxxxxxxxx
I think you are handling it well, don't let it overwhelm you hazeleyes. If anything is going to come of this, it sounds as though he will share what is going on for you little by little.
I spoke to a male friend last night and he said what Louise's son said too, that he often had (and still has) thoughts and feelings that he should do some really bizarre things. I wonder if it is part of growing up and taking responsibility for your own actions?
Hi Anna. Feelings is what C is saying now. Very strange isn't it? Perhaps it's a 'man' thing hehe. Yesterday I was really worried, but today (I guess because I'm not making a big deal out of it, C knows he can tell me at anytime if he feels or hears anything, that he can some and speak to me about it), I feel more relaxed, plus getting feedback from all of you has indeed helped me.
Thankyou.
Hey Hazeleyes,
I think you've got an understanding of it now from reading through the replies:)
I just wanted to share some of my childhood experiences as I remember finding your descriptions of C and me as a child similar.
I had imaginary fiends as I came to know them when I was younger. They were 2 tiny 4 or so inch high black and white cartoony fellows in detective style hats and coats. They would sit on top of curtain rails and 'discuss' me. negatively in tone or words. I'd be reading a book and they would narrate, 'Look how slowly she turns the pages' etc etc and with them came a feeling of pins and needles like. I don't know. I didn't like them or the feeling. and I remember 'breaking' the 'spell' by leaving the room and finding my mum and gran. I've still today never actually told her about them so it's great that you have that open line of communication.
That was the last time I remember them or the feeling until I was much older, in secondary school and had been placed in isolation as I and my friend who had gone and ran away from home for a couple of days had returned and gone to school as if everything just went back to normal.
Because of that I connect it with isolation, and to a degree boredom.
And as I had physical representations of them I also think that whole realm of stuff can link a bit to imaginary friends. Which is documented as practically normal. I think we often forget that childhood is actually a lot like experiencing an acid trip.
Never experienced an acid trip!!! but if I think of the album cover of Lucy in The Sky with Diamonds then yes, I can understand that the way a child makes sense of the world could be seen as a collection of psychadelic impressions; some of the things children say indicate their puzzlement with the world they are born into.
Janehope, reading your experiences, you've put it down to isolation and perhaps boredom? This doesn't apply in C's case, he definately isn't bored, and certainly isn't isolated. Yes, it is great that he feels able to tell me absolutely everything, now I'm aware of what was happening to him, I have been able to help him to some degree by removing the snooker table and balls, so as not to put anything in his way to 'tempt' him.
I have no idea what an acid trip is like, and likewise C, so I don't understand that at all, sorry.
For now, C hasn't experienced anymore of these feelings, thoughts or whatever. It was very frightening for him, and also for me of course.
I think each individual will connect the "thoughts and feelings" to different emotions. JaneHope connects them to isolation and boredom, it sounds as if C connects them to being unsettled and scared, as this is how he felt about them. You have dealt with the underlying emotion, which is fear so let us hope that has solved it for him.
I've not had experience of this. At least not where they are being told what to do.
I wonder if it is worth chatting to your GP? At least it is only one thing that he has heard.
I'm sorry, but I'm no help at all, I know.
xxxxxxxxxxxxx