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I just need to find out something from other parents - I just cannot get my 15 yr old son to help with the washing up. I've managed it on odd occassions in the last few years, but boy, was it hard work. I've asked him over and over, talked to him reasonably about how difficult it is for me as a single parent, working full-time, with everything else to do, shopping, cleaning, washing etc etc. You get the picture. I do find it hard to keep on top of everything and at 15 I just figure he should really be helping out. My dad comes round to see me some Saturday mornings and does it for me when it's piled up but he thinks my boy should be helping more. The thing is, one of his arguments is that none of his friends have to help out at home. I do point out that most of them are in two parent families, so it's easier for them with two adults around but I just wondered whether other parents get their teenagers to help around the house particularly with washing the dishes as that's my bugbear - or have you all got dishwashers!!!!
:D xx
Aggghhhh, washing up, any household chores, nightmare!
When my girl washes up, she never fills the bowl with hot soapy water, she runs the taps, squirts washing-up liquid on brush etc etc, and it takes her FOREVER.... so i do it instead!
One thing i have noticed tho is that when i started to work later i would ask her to take our dog into the back garden for a pee, everyday i came home and said have you taken Stell into the back garden, "No" was always the reply and i would say go and do it now. This went on for two weeks, now when i get home our dog is not sitting at the top step with her legs crossed pining for a pee! My girl seems to have got the hang of it!! It reminds me of when i was getting her into bedtime routine, every night for two weeks putting her back into her bed when she got out etc. eventually I won!
I think it all comes down to persistence, which is what we are always told. People don't realise how hard persistence can be to keep up tho! :D
Maybe it is too much like hard work to keep hassling him to wash up, what about hassling him to put stuff away after it has dried?? It can sometimes be easier to be consistent with some things rather than others?? Good luck curly!
Yes, I'd agree with you on that, wiseowl persistence (your post helped me spot my spelling mistake - thanks!) is definitely the key with such a lot of things - hanging on in there!! But as you say, that can sometimes be incredibly hard. Especially if our lives are very chaotic or hectic as they so often are as we, as single parents, are always trying to juggle so many things - which of course, is why we want them to help out in the first place! Bit of a double whammy! :( Even if we have a partner around that doesn't make it any easier, in fact if they don't support us in being consistent and persistent, which when it isn't their child is very often the case, it's even harder!
Which all in all isn't a very positive conclusion to come to - so I'll end this post with 'persistence' with a smile :D !
Keep on keeping on.......
Lin
yes iknow wot you mean tried offering my daughter money to wash up but has worked for a week but some days not doing it so i need to deduct some money when it isn't done. I give her ten pounds a week but if doesnt do it gets two pounds knocked off so the verdict is out.
The younger two don't do much but want to introduce them to it soon.
H is thirteen now definately old enough to help out so your boy also should help out but money is definately an incentive if you can afford itmay be even a fiver a week may be an incentive rather than giving them money when they ask.
I think that sounds like a good plan, Mercedes! 
Thanx louise
I enjoy doing the dishes... I find it therapeutic! In that it gives me a break from all the other things I have to do, time to just do something simple and straight forward while I can just daydream knowing I'm doing something from the list of things to do and still get to day dream and think about what ever I want to, without feeling guilty for not getting on with stuff : )
I think hoovering is the worst thing because you have to lug the hoover about, unplug it, plug it in and then bend down with the nozzle attachment to get in all the corners. Washing up is just grab something clean it put it on the rack... repeat!
Just so long as they put their clothes in their rooms and not scattered about the house I don't realy mind doing all the other stuff.
I used to really enjoy ironing. That was in the house where I lived when I was married though. I had room to put the ironing board up and a strong curtain rail to hang things up on! It was a routine and I got a kick from seeing the crinkles get smooth 
Here the ironing board gets in the way and it truly has become a chore.
Please. Don't let on to anyone on here that I liked ironing - especially if their name starts with h. I've not admitted to this before 
I don't own an iron : ) I use the wear it for a bit method... as in wear it round the house for a day before taking it out... though sometimes I'll just throw caution to the wind and wear it out anyway.
Remember the 80's when they had those clothes that were made to look un ironed?
Not that I remeber the 80's of course... too young 
Sadly I do remember! They looked awful though coming out the washer and then off the clothes horse or line. I found they only looked good new!
I only iron the Scout shirts and Neckers for the remembrance parade now...
With my lot, if their top looks bad, I tell them to put a jumper on for a while - which usually isn't a problem, as its not often that warm!
Yesterday was like summer time in Madrid!
Lovely.
It was 26 degrees when I got to Cubs at 6pm.
It's been fantastic. I hope we've made the most of it anyway - this lot have been out in it a lot.
AHA sparkling lime I have got you bang to rights, "used to like ironing" eh? That Hazeleyes will on your case now, too, we all know your guilty secret 
Very, very little gets ironed here....son's interview shirt was the exception.
No, no. Hazeleyes is NOT to know. Sssshhhhh
I have to say that I don't miss ironing!
Caught you Sparkling
I iron on a Sunday, if you want to do the honours, hehe. Could it be you're secretly missing this particular chore lol
I think its a space thing. If I put the ironing board up it blocks the way through to somewhere...!!!!
Good excuse
Perfect one 
i confess have an iron but don't do it i hate it have an iron but no ironing board bought one but it broke.
i hate all housework and weekly food shop just not the domestic kind lol.
if win the lottery would definately employ a cleaner.
Me too Mercedes, definately a cleaner, and possibly a cook. I loathe cooking!!
I'd love a housekeeper. I'd have a personal trainer too. Gutted I didn't win last Tuesday. I'd have had a tidy house today if I had!
...I thought we all wanted handsome butlers!
I'm up for that one
Oh, all right then. If you insist
Seeing as none of us are in any position to hire a butler, cleaner, general dogsbody, our children are going to have to take on some of that responsibility!
It is only fair. Why should we run around after them? We all share a house together and gone are the days of the 'perfect housewife' of the 1950's.
I often say to my daughter when she whinges when she can't take a lid off a jar, or can't whisk the cheese sauce - Look if you were in Afghanistan now, you would be married and have at least 2 children and be providing meals and a clean house and clothes by now, so quit your moaning, or I will sell you! That usually gets a particularly grumpy, adorable grimace and sulk on! Tee hee! Doesn't really make a blind bit of difference to her or her behaviour, but it does tickle me to see that face!
So come on, honestly, what chores do you enforce your children do and strictly adhere to?
My lot load and unload dishwasher
Help get shopping in from car and kept
Bring washing down
Washing from washer to dryer, and dryer upstairs. They get folded too.
Looking after the pets
Emptying bins
The do that willingly, to be fair.
Lots of nagging
Tidying and hoovering bedrooms
Doing the bits in the bathroom I can't do
Picking up after themselves (including taking dishes to the dish washer!)
Tidying the living room - which now has boxes slowly being brought in and getting sorted.
Good Evening Ladies,
I love ironing, cleaning, I'm addicted to the smell of washing powder. I'm rather anal in tidyness too, when I had my company car, I would clean it twice a week inside and out!! I think it comes from my Mum she's like that too and my Grandmother was a Housekeeper for a large Hotel..In the genes as they say!
Had to laugh at addicted to washing powder.
Anna, nooooooooooo, don't sell your daughter, hehe
Sparkling, you're a slave driver
C tidies and hoovers his bedroom, also hoovers round the flat (willingly) Has done dusting too, but of course I have to re-do that!!
My son tidies his bedroom DAILY now, as it got to be so dreadful between the weekly tidies.
Every week he hoovers the whole house and washes the bathroom and toilet floors.
Every night he washes the pots.When eldest is here, he dries and puts away too. Eldest also mows the lawn when he is here.
I still have to clean the toilet though 
I have to say I clean the loo.
Eldest has started to help with cutting the weeds, I mean lawn, well, bits of grass...
I feel really bad... I do everything!
They sometimes help, and my son periodically cleans and hoovers his room but basically I do all the cleaning, all the washing, all the cooking.
They are quite good at cleaning up after them selves though... though not perfect and not without me coughing dramatically when I catch them dropping their clothes on the floor.
Every couple of days I gather all their stuff and 'dump' it in their bedrooms, my son generally sorts his out, my daughter doesn't.
But I'm quite happy to do it all. I find the best way to keep the house tidy is to not have much stuff, so every month or so I go round the house with a bin bag or two and throw things away or give it to the local charity shop.
We have a very spartan, minimal house, I love classic, functional Japanese design, space is more important than filling it. Our front room is basically a couch, casually set off centre of the middle, a coffee table, a computer media centre thing on a wooden rough cut coffee table my Grandfather made and a massive Cheese plant... and an Ikia bookshelf, which is actually overflowing with books and it bugs me and it sticks out like a sore thumb and I hate it... but I'm loathed to throw any of my books away.
Most of the ornamentation is bits and pieces my kids pick up from the beach and up the mountains, bits of wood and stones... and some horse teeth, and the odd toy I think looks nice. They arrange most of that, they set up a sort of display on the front room windowsill of all their bits and pieces.
I don't mind doing all the housework, I've just set the house up so that it is at a minimum.
They never! flush the toilet... and I get tired of asking them to.
Ah yes toilets.....mine would never lift up the seat when they were little and I used to go in, and find a wet seat, each blamed the other. In the end I said I don't care who it is, the next time I find a wet seat you BOTH lose your pocket money. It never happened again
You may be happy to do the chores, Bubblegum, but thinking about the future you could get them used to doing stuff around the house, not just in the spirit of learning how to do it but more to stop them saying "but that's YOUR job" at a later date, it is partyl about how they "view" us.
I used to do it all before my legs got wonky. They'd help with some things, but nothing compared to what they do now.
I get so frustrated watching them, that if I didn't have wonky legs, I probably would be doing loads more.
Ah the toilet...
I've had the 'it's your job' before, from my son... I put it straight with him : )
I've lived on my own since I was sixteen and before that my mum did much the same with me as I do with mine, but from living on my own I quickly learnt it had to be done, took me a while though.
My son tries to blame his sister for the seat wetness... I laugh!
Yes, toilets do seem to cause a lot of family controversy heh heh
Wow sparkling, it sounds as though you have your lot well under control. I also liked hearing that C tidies and hoovers his room.
I grew up with my mum doing all the housework and always thought she was daft when she bemoaned that no-one had noticed that she had swept the stairs.....I now get it!
I think it is really important that our children share the chores, again....if our children were living in a developing country then they would all be fetching water, cooking, walking a million miles for firewood etc, so wiping round the bath after they have used it, or folding their clothes is completely acceptable, it stops them becoming completely self obsessed!
However many tactics, techniques and parenting tips I have under my belt though, NONE of them help to get my daughter to consistently tidy her room. I am currently in the IGNORE mode......of course will praise if and when she ever cleans it again!
No toilet issues here with me, but I guess we are too girls, no wet seats for us!
I don't do any washing for them anymore as they would not put it away, but leave the respective stacks, just pull out from the bottom what they wanted and then everything would go all over the place and end up in the wash again because nobody could tell what was dirty from what was clean. So I went on strike and they have to do it themselves.
This results in a Sunday night race for school uniforms - sometimes (not often) two will cooperate and do shirts first, trousers after, but mostly everyone fights for themselves! They know it's not negotiable though!
We try to have a rota for cooking/washing up/drying up, this worked well in the beginning, but has slacked off a lot recently. Will have to reinstate it with force.
Also I try to give them an incentive for other housework: I am willing to pay £ 3 for an hour of proper housework, so when they want something and need money two of them work for it - the first one is a couch potato and would rather go without than get off his backside!
I think that sounds good. I pay my son £3 a week to do his jobs and extra to keep to certain rules (such as not weeing on the toilet floor 
, in other words the money includes a "bonus" for good behaviour) and then this money pays for his gym membership each month.
Hello curlyburly and welcome to the One Space teenagers group. Thanks for introducing yourself and for contributing something to celebrate about your son. That's really why I started that topic so that we can have a place for the postives when it can often seem that the focus is on the negatives. Of course, that's because it's really with the 'negative' stuff that we need to share, see what other think etc, particulary when it comes to having teenage children as this can be such a stressful and anxiety-inducing time.
But I'd like to respond here to your 'washing up' query. I've got 2 boys (I'm going to stick to boys as you are talking about your son, although it equally applies to girls I think), one is now 22 and the other is 14 and basically, in this respect at least, they are as different as chalk and cheese. My elder son would always help if asked, he never really did anything spontaneously, but equally it was never a battle. My younger son sounds very much like yours, like you I think I've managed to get him to wash up once. I have now managed to get him to bring down the dirty dishes he accumulates in his bedroom on a regular basis and I achieved that by just sheer persistance, asking over and over again without getting drawn into an argument. The other thing is that when I do ask him to help with the washing up he often says he'll do something else instead, like vacuuming or dusting, so that's the agreement we make and most of the time he will do it.
So basically, as with everything I'm afraid, there are no easy answers as all kids are different, but I hope that this helps in some way.
It would be interesting to hear from others how they handle the whole helping in the house thing.
Best wishes
Lin