hi! im 42 ,dnt work as my husband and me agree coz the children.I have a 4 and 7 year old boys and just a week ago my husband told me doesnt love me anymore and want to separate.the house is in join names and he told me he will pay half of the morgates .I dnt have family or friends so IM complete lonely .
I know he been in the past abusive me and been quiet bad ,but now he seems to want separate friendly maner......
i go to have sugery in july so he agree to stay in home till I have the sugery but is quiet difficult live 2 moths like this AS he act like is allready separate when he still living in the same house....IM absolute depress and I feel really low......
children will live with me as coz his job is travelling all the time,he will pay half mortage plus 20% of his salary and about the kids he probably will see them 1 or 2 times a week as he is away must the time.I was thinking of stay in home as a rent house will cost me doble tham pay half of the mortage plus have 2 dogs and cats!! and the kids I supose will feel less stress knowing they are in his house.If i move to a rent house will need to sell this one tham yes will have a short life amount of money and I will pay doble tham now!!help!!! confuse now...
Hi maria70, welcome to One Space from me 
This is going to be a stressful time for you and I think you are going to have to keep all your options open, try and find out as much as you can about houses, rents, mortgages etc, so that you can make an informed decision. You might be interested in looking at the Shelter website that tells you all about your housing rights.
Do you trust that your husband will keep up the mortgage payments?
You say that you are feeling depressed and very low, it is important to look after yourself at the moment, especially as you are having an operation shortly.
You sound very isolated, so please keep coming on here and we will support you through this.
thank you, yes i go to have sugery in july and like I say dnt have family and friends,im quiet upset and probably will need to go to my gp. I go to try to he put in writting by a solicitor all what he say it go to give me and about the mortgage.....if I do that is like a contract? will that help me if he change his mind?,
I supose if he stop pay the mortgage them will need to look for sell our house and look for houses to rent.at minute I try find jobs but as my sugery is in july only can look for something for end august wich make me even more stress out.
he was abusing me verbaly and try to hit me few times in the past but he stop now and been a year since that.
I am glad that the violence has not been happening lately, and I agree that you can't really think about moving until after you have recovered from the operation.
I do think you need legal advice as a priority, to secure your position. I gave you the link above to your own legal expert, but here it is again.
You might also like to have a look at The Freedom Programme, which is to help people who are leaving or have left abusive relationships.
hello maria70 and welcome to One Space
It is indeed difficult to live in the same house when you have officially separated but at least he will be there to look after you and the children during your recovery.
Now is the time to start gathering information. Email our Legal Expert (click) as a starting point. You need to think about what will happen about the children. Will they live with you? How much time will he have with them? Where is he moving to?
Think about your house...he says he will pay half the mortgage. Is it moore practical for you to move to a rented home as you will not be able to afford the other half of the mortgage from any benefits if you are not working. We have a money expert here too, so you could find out all that information before your operation, just so you know where you stand. Although he has offered to pay half the mortgage, the law says he should pay a certain percentage of his income. Have a look at CM Options to do the calculations
All this is very practical and yet you are also going through an emotional time. Do confide in your doctor if you are finding it difficult to cope as he/she ,ay be able to give you some treatment to help. I am sorry to hear you feel so isolated....as part of your new life you will be able to build up a whole new circle of friends but in the meantime talk to us on here and you can ring the Samaritans at any time of day or night on 08457 909090 if things get too much for you.