Hi I'm Chris. I need some advice!
Iv just left the Army in october after 9 years and moved back to my home town with my family.
I have 2 girls aged 2 and 4. After our first girl was born my wife found it very hard to cope so I found myself trying to work full time and take up 90% of the parenting duties when home.
My wife was suffering severe depression and later diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, after four attempt's to take her life!
She then accidently fell pregnant with our second girl.
As my wife was unable to cope I had to leave the Army to move closer to family for more support.
I now think I have done all I can for my wife after many years of trying, I also worry for the affects its having on the girls as she cant always be there for them emotionally, and I dont trust her with them for long periods of time.
There is so much that has gone on for to long, this is just a brief story. she has hurt me so much that I dont love her the way I did anymore, I will always care for her and want the best for her, but I dont think I can stay with her.
I told her I couldn't do it anymore so she left and went to stay at her dads 2 days ago. she now wants to come back but I rely dont know what to do, this happened last month and she came back but nothing changed.
So should I let her back and try again or not, as I dont want this to happen again next month if she comes back?
I would love to know you thoughts about this and has anyone been in this situation??
Thanks for taking the time to read this.
Welcome to this site, you'll find a lot of friendly people here!
You really have a dilemma there, haven't you? And of course nobody can make this decision for you. Is your wife having treatment or therapy to help her with her problems?
Maybe it is worth making a list of all the good things that are happening, and then of the not so good? That may help you.
Sorry that I can't be of more help. Hope you get everything sorted!
Hi Sally W thanks for your reply.
The girls seem happy that she's not around and have not asked about her. When she is about they always come to me when hurt ect.
She has had lots of help in the past but nothing has rely changed, I would say she is not depressed at the moment but she has borderline personality disorder so she can be very up and down with her moods.
I think that for the sake of the girls and me, I am starting to think I should not take her back! but I know it will hurt her so much, but it will probably be best for her in the long run too.
Hello chris 9376
My heart goes out to you, it really does. My own story was that my children's father suffered from severe mental health problems, I mean increasingly severe and after a very long haul and some truly terrible times,offering him the best treatment and family life being unbearable for me and the boys (the delights of being locked in my bedroom, of him screaming filthy abuse at me in front of my children who were 8 and 3, and for while, being raped)....in the end I told him to leave. I am not saying this is the solution for you, and I appreciate my husband's problems were really severe but I empathise with you because I spent so long not knowing what to do, feeling really alone (the doctor said "don't call us if he gets violent, we don't want to get involved")and feeling guilty because I knew he was ill and it was not his fault that he had become ill.....and yet he would not have treatment. And even despite all this, many people we knew blamed me when I ended the marriage.
The factors which influenced my decision were:
would he accept treatment?
were the children better off with him there or with him gone?
could I cope on my own?
Maybe you, too, could consider these questions. Big props to you.
Perhaps being prepared too by changing child benefit/tax credit to your name?
I'm sorry you are facing this.
Good point, sparkling lime 
Hi chris9376
Sorry to hear about what you have been going through, i can empathise with your situation though having not been in a relationship with someone that suffered from depression, i have got experience of being the one with the depression and it is not something that goes away overnight and for some people it is something that they deal with on and of all their life.
In hindsight i can honestly say that my behaviour at times was horrendous and due to my state of mind i did not realise the damage that i was doing to my relationships with those that were close to me.
I also have a friend that was in a very similair situation to you and after years of trying to maintain the relationship they eventually left for their own sanity and the welfare of the children, but this was not an easy decision for them to make.
How are your girls when mums not around? Does your wife have support i.e medication, counselling? have you ever sought support or counselling for yourself?
Ultimately the decision to take your wife back is something that you will have to decide for yourself.