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hi i have been with partner for 5 years. we live in rented accomadation, who do not accept houseing benifit, we dont need this thought cause between us we earn enough. i am not happy though, our child is 2 years old. we argue all the time. hes sees himself as better than me as he earns a high wage. i have no1 i could stay with and am trying to find a way out without ending up homless with the baby?? i dont no if theres any help out there.
he is controllin. he says things like hel stalk me if we split up.. and then on another hand he is fyn wen we spoke about it. he works alot and he loves fishin and has hes own boat so WE only see him in eveingings. i feel like iv given up everything for him as i got pregnant young, lost my job. i have nothing on my own.. no where to go.. i dont really want to go in a refuge, i dont want my son to rember something like that. i need to no if theres help out that will help me move out of the home im in and straight into another. thanks.
hi well my ex as followed me on a few occasions when ive ended it for hundreth tym, he follows cars im in, or he parks down road so i dont no hes there, then jumps out of car when im on way to school, we av 21 month old little girl together,he makes threats, tries to intimidate me, he as seriously assaulted me on holiday, hes takin me court ova acess, then i find out he as secret life,and very violent past,hes not allowed cum nr me or my area, or allowed contact, wot bout housin association, if ur not workin u cud get private rented, they usuazlly want a bond tho, sumtyms in domestic violence get soliciter i think and man as to leave the house and u and kids can stayxx
Hello debba and welcome.
Kiera has given you some great information (HIGH FIVE kiera! 
) it is all about deciding whether you will separate from your son's dad. I do understand that you are wanting to move homes but in order to make this move (and yes, a stay in a refuge could well be part of this) you need to be in touch with Women's Aid (phone 0808 2000 247)Your boy will not remember a refuge, you would only be there a while., but what your boy WOULD remember is how he feels when there is conflict between his parents, it can be very harmful to children. So if things are really bad at home, you need to address this.
Also please have a look at the online Freedom Programme (click) as you will find it very enlightening!
hi i wernt sure bout the advice, ive bin to freedom progrmme today, 3 weeks left, i myt do it all again u no, done me world of gud,x
well i felt exactly same bout refuge, i got offered a space but didnt want leave my home and kids to change schools, but if i ad to i wud move miles away, ur little boy wud rather want live in peace with one happy parent then livin in hostile amosphere,my ex stalked me and kept goin bk to him, out of fear, but in may i ended it, ad enuf, he was makein me ill, i just rang police everytym he harassed me, a refuge as elped many a woman and er family, u wil get space to clear ur head, and stay there for awhile, and mayb refuge can elp u get ur own place, or see a soliciter and get an injunction ,ur fella av to leave and u stay in ur house,xnot easy. i no, hard, i got told im 1step from care procedings if i keep goin bk to my ex. as he violent man, my kids cum 1stxplease think bout ur little boy,
Hi debba and welcome to One Space from me too 
I am unsure how controlling your ex may be, if you feel that it is verging on abuse, then do contact the Domestic Abuse helpline on 0808 2000 247 for a chat about what your options are.
Alternatively you might consider visiting Couple Connection (click) to look at ways of healing your relationship.
Perhaps you have grown apart recently and need some support in finding your way back together.
You mentioned that your partner said he would 'stalk you', I am unsure whether this was said in a malicious way or whether he was trying to be endearing and saying that he wouldn't want to lose you?
Hi Debba. Womens refuges aren't bad places. I stayed in one when I split from my ex with my two children. My daughter was 18 months old at the time and my son had epliepsy....he still has severe learning difficulties. Your partner cannot reach you there, or your child. If he is being violent or malicious go to your nearest refuge. They will help you through this and give you support in finding a place to live and with finances etc.
Hi ladytelita,
Glad to hear you had a positive experience of being in a refuge.
kiera, it's great to 'hear' you offering such sound advice & support - good for you! And am really pleased the Freedom Programme has made such an impact on your life.
debba, I hope you're ok. if you haven't had a look at the Freedom programme yet, please do (Louise posted a link to it further up this page.) It sounds like your partner is trying very hard to keep you where he wants you 
Mary
hi hun av u thought bout a refuge, is ur fella controllin, tell me bit more bout ur relationship, im unclear, do u not want b with him anymorexx iended it wiv my ex in may, of course he wudnt let me go, ad get police, my ex very controllin ,x