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So, this is a new thing for me.
My child is due to spend his first time away from me, with his father. As this is new, i feel a bit apprehensive and worried, but also excited and enthusiasic about it.
But, i feel lost just thinking about it. I want to have some ideas, of what to do during the time when my child is away from me at his dads (its only a few hours to begin with). Preferably, i'd like something for myself (haha thats a laugh hey), this is an opporutnity for myself and this makes the situation all the more exciting (whats that - a mother having a few hours to herself ?? woo :) ).
But, i cant think of what? Any ideas?
Hi there pink lilly
It may well be a nerve wracking time, but its great that you are thinking about what you can do for you, so that you can get the most out of it.
I like what happy mamma says about being prepared for not having the whole time to yourself, for a mulitude of reasons.
Have a look at our article Top tips for things with your child free days. There is a link in there for a webpage called making mums happy that has some good ideas too.
Let us know what you decide to do, you may find that you flop in front of the telly and have a snooze!!
HI, thats really good actually, because im thinking its all going to run smoothly and it may not... hmmm .... thank you :)
I am worried though, what if the father does not call to tell me our child is upset/uneasy? simply - to prove the fact that A is down his house and he can do it hiself etc ... just to prove a point. Would i pick up on my childs uneasyness after the visit if this is the case? (This is all new to me).
And thank for the link, ill take a look :)
I think you just need to "give it a go" the first time and see what happens, you're bound to have worries....I can remember when my boys were about 12 and 7 and I spied out of a cafe window as their dad was taking them round town, it all looked very haphazard but they did enjoy seeing him.....and then they came home one day and told me the youngest had been sick on the bus and their dad made them get off at the next stop before the driver noticed and as they walked to the front of the bus and the driver lowered the front of the bus, the sick trailed down the bys after them......I was just so horrified to hear all this but what I am saying is ok their dad did things very differently to me but he kept the boys safe and fed and that is what really matters
hi Louise, youre right, People will look after my chld diefferently to me (me and my childs dad are very different at parenting), i guess its a safe game of trial and error at the moment, we wont know unless we try. This makes me nervous, but ill do it :)
Good luck, Pink Lilly, it is HARD when others look after our children differently but as I said all that matters is that they are safe and happy.
yes, thank you :) a simple thing to remember.
Hi Pink Lilly, I have been sharing my son for a number of years now and often do not have him for up to 5 days.... He is 7 now one thing I learnt when he is away is I have to try to be me again... You know before the children came along... So i would go to the shopping mall where I could try on endless clothes without someone asking me are we leaving yet.. I need the toilet mummy or I am bored. I would walk into town and sit with my book watch the world go by and have a glass of vino... Meet a friend for lunch etc. somedays just cleaning the house with my music up high without the WII or kids tv on is equally bliss. One thing that has not changed is his father is quite controlling and he still calls or texts when he has our son to ask me the most inane questions? Let's be honest your ex will never look after your child the way you would.. But let him learn from his mistakes and as long as your child is safe he will soon realise how difficult it is. If he continues with shared care try to encourage it as most give up and don't try again.
I appreciate I am futher down the line in this than you and don't get me wrong some times my son does not want to go to hus dads as he feels he should stay at home and look after me, he worries that i am alone.... I don't have the heart to tell him how much I love having the tv remote to myself, an uninterrupted bath, having girlfriends round or even going out on a date !
Take your time, be lead by your gut and your child. Don't react in anger and don't sit at home and wind yourself up ... watch the Sex and City DVD box set all day in your pyjamas on the sofa and call in a curry .....Ah bliss . FM
Great post Frustrated Mum, thanks for that 
Hi PL
It depends on how well your ex and child get on
I had this a long time ago (the fathers novilty soon wore off) bit I had a good think as to how to spend those hours.
I think you need to do something where your not a million miles away (children have a habit of wanting to come home earlier than expected on the 1st few outings - well mine did)
I decided a spring clean of my sons room so I felt close to him, managed to get rid of stuff i knew i would be able to if he was there and I was home in case he did change his mind.
Also there is nothing worse than going out only to find a sobbing child and disgruntled ex on your door step.
After the 1st few weeks we got to the 'sleep over' stage I thought it was a great chance to have a night out with the girls - epic fail within 1.30 i got 'the call' to collect my child - to be honest think it was a plot as he found out i went out.
I dont for one minute think you will have the experiance I had but I thought my idea of the bedroom spring clean was a comfort to me.
Hope it goes well
HM