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Hi, stumbled upon this site and need to talk to someone. I finally managed to gind the strength to finish an emotionally abusive relationship. For weeks I put up with his awful behaviour, it comes near to christmas he begins to say things I would want to hear, how things could be different. I have children I had a picture of us falling in love again, I let him back,I thought that is what I wanted, is there something wrong with me?? I now know nothing will change, this all started with him having an affair 2 years ago, me finding out and things going wrong from there. I feel so stupid...
hello annas - dont be so hard on yourself - i am sure you will find the support on here - everyone is so friendly - i hope you find the strength to do what is right for you
Hello Annas
You are welcome here, how are you feeling about the relationship now?
Many of us (including me) have taken back partners in the hope and belief that things will be better, only to be betrayed again. What matters now is how you move forward into the future 
Hi Annas - I'm sorry that you're feeling so low about having let this man back into your life - it's so, so hard when they say the things you want to hear, and the frustrating thing is that the very person who drives you crazy/ abuses you is often the one that makes it all better, even in the short-term.
So yes, it's totally normal to end up back with that person - and it's totally normal to then have another go at breaking free! If you really think he is emotionally abusing you then you will be better off in the long-run without him - and so will your children.
Would it be possible for you to think about having a break (say, a few months) from each other before you decide on a permanent separation? That might give you the opportunity to see how your life is when you're not with him, but without making a final decision just yet.
I understand that might seem like just delaying the inevitable, but if you're struggling with calling it completely quits, it could be an option - and the first step will already have been taken.
Lucy
Hi Annas and welcome.
Very clever aren't they how they managed to say everything you want to hear. How frustrating though, that they prove that they know what they need to do, but don't do it.
I think you could really do with some support from a counsellor - you could see your GP, or call Womens Aid on 0808 2000 247 for some moral support.
If he has been emotionally abusive, you will be feeling confused. You have to keep reminding yourself that you approve of yourself and your feelings.
Somehow and somewhere you will find the courage to say what you need to again. It might be tonight or it might be at the weekend, but it will come and you can say that you have been thinking about it and actually it really isn't what you want. (Its your perogative to change your mind - see Basic Rights of Assertiveness) You might also want to read Saying 'NO' and being heard! for some added support.
Hi annas. Welcome along to One Space. For one, don't feel stupid, we've all done things we regret, and we learn by our mistakes. That's just part of life isn't it? So, you let this man back into your life, and now it has gone pear shape again. You have to decide whether you want to finish it or carry on. By the sounds of it, you want it to end. You found the strength before, so 2nd time around it might be a lot easier for you. How old are your children? Do you have family and friends that can also offer you support? Keep posting as this is a brilliant site, others will be along at some point during the day.