This site is an archive of the OneSpace Forums. Return to forum index.
This site is an archive of the OneSpace Forums. Return to forum index.
Hi. C has something going on at school in a few weeks. Not sure of exact details, but it's movie making. Thing is, it's for the child and a male figure in the family. Now, I do have a nephew that C gets on really well with, but he lives an hour and half away, and this movie making thing is once a week for 3 weeks. I know for a fact that my nephew won't come up for this, even if I offered his fare. I don't want to be the one to tell C this. My sister came yesterday (it is her son), and looking at her face when C mentioned it, she also knew this wouldn't happen. C was trying to call him a few times last night, no answer, but he'll try again today no doubt.
He is going to be so disappointed, but there is nothing I can do. There isn't anyone else that we could ask. I do have a brother, and though he lives not far from here, he doesn't have anything to do with C, apart from sending for birthdays and Christmas.
Cannot understand why the school has done this to be honest. In C's class, apart from one girl, the others live with both parents. The girl has contact with her Dad, and also her Uncles.
It just seems so unfair.
I agree with littleredhen hazeleyes, I would raise it at the school, you have been put in a difficult position.
However, thinking outside the box, who else is there, what about your neighbour? Is he almost family to C?
When we are single parents, the people who are around us become our family and it is good for us to remind our children that, it doesn't have to be blood.
I am wondering about your brother too, although he is not in contact other than xmas and birthday, but maybe it would be good for him to consider that he has a nephew who actually needs him at this point?
If I thought for a moment that my brother would do this, I would call him, but I know him Anna, and he wouldn't even entertain the idea. As for the neighbour, he is 86, and certainly wouldn't be up for it! C has called my nephew, and has told C to ring him again on Monday. Now, I'm not being horrid here, but I know he is just keeping C sweet for now, and has no intention of coming down. C on the other hand is so excited now, and it's me that will have to deal with the huge disappointment tomorrow evening. I've already explained to C that N probably won't be able to do it, saying he needs to look for work, etc etc, and not to worry if he can't.
I'm going to speak to the school tomorrow, C says it's a waste of time, as they've already been told it's something to do with government that has organised this movie making thing. Don't understand really what he is on about, but I shall find out tomorrow.
Are you able to jump in yourself, if there's no 'man'? It's a very strange thing for the school to organise like that!
I'd be in the same boat hazeleyes.
The school should have a Plan B here. Or your just going to have to be hazelI'mamaneyes for a few days.
You'll have to cut your hair short and shave...
Sparkling, you're right they should have a plan B.
Hopeful, I too think this is very strange, and totally unfair on the children like C. Why should these children have to miss out on something, through no fault of their own.
In Scouts we always had a plan b as one Scout had lost his Mum and one had lost his Dad.
I know scouting isn't teaching, but surely if leaders can give things some thought then teachers can?
C has told me that a child asked what if someone didn't have a male relative, and the whole of assembly were told, 'well, you couldn't do it then'.
ok. Then C can't do it and would need to have an alternative project to work on...
Naughty teacher!
I look forward to hearing what the school have to say about it hazeleyes.
Any chance you can give your nephew a quiet phonecall this evening, so you have a heads up on what his response will be and how much it will mean to C?
Did you speak to the school about this hazeleyes? What was their response??
I cannot believe that they would be told that they couldn't do it if they don't have a male to do the project with - please let us know what school said! I am cross on your behalf!
Had a fair bit on my mind, so didn't ask at school yesterday or this morning. However, C rang my nephew last night, and he has said yes. This is fantastic of course, and I'm delighted for C. Bearing in mind though I know my lot very well, I have this awful feeling that come the day, or day before, something will crop up and he won't make it. I hope I'm wrong on this for C's sake, but will wait and see.
I've got to go careful with money as I'm paying for the petrol, and it's £20 I'll have to give, each week!!!
Rest assured though, I won't let this drop with the school. 
Yes I think you do need to ask the question hazeleyes as I can be almost sure the school will find a way round it if you present that to them.
You are right about not taking your problems into school - that is why I say he must be very needy - what costume will you imagine him in next time?
A tutu??
They won't find a way around it lrh, as it's for males only, and it is stated as that in the letter that was brought home. I want to know why it is for males only
that is funny hazeleyes!
I think they are on stony ground stating its males only - are you saying they will happily exclude children that can't come up with a male in their lives?
Oh I am thrilled that C's cousin has agreed, fingers crossed he pulls through on this one.
I do hope that you do pursue this with the school hazeleyes. You are in a pretty good place right now, but imagine if you had left an abusive relationship and fled to another part of the country (as just one example) how rubbish would this make you feel, when you are already feeling inconfident and unassertive to challenge this idea.
Do it for single parents everywhere hazeleyes, I think this is shocking.
Although it is good for boys and girls to have good male role models, I think it puts vulnerable people in a very uncomfortable position.
Hi Hazeleyes, I do sympathise with this one, as you know I have brought up my two boys more or less on my own. I have no brothers and my dad, whilst a brilliant role model for them, died when they were still quite young. I was always conscious of thinking do they have good male role models? and I have to say that for quite a while that the answer was "no". As they have got older, they have found people at work, secondary school teachers etc.
I object very strongly to it only being for males! I wonder if it is to do with comparing life as a boy now, with life as a boy then?
I know you are in a difficult position - I would speak to the school - this seems wrong
Not much help but I agree with you