So... Here it is. I have court agreed share care of my beautiful 2 girls. Which during term time is fine. Married friends are jealous sometimes of my double life. In holiday time however it is really tough, as I face 2 weeks without my girls I start to feel really depressed and lonely. I know the children need their dad. He is a good dad. I know they are having fun. Anyone else feel the same?
Hi Adelelien. Welcome along. My son 8 doesn't have contact with his 'sperm doner', so I don't know what you experience. I just wanted to welcome you to One Space. It's a fantastic site, lots of lovely people, very warm and friendly.
When are the children going away with their Dad? Have you started making plans for yourself? Perhaps meeting up with some friends, going to the cinema etc.
I do hope you keep posting as others will be along at some point today.
Hi Adelelein
We have a great article you could have a read of:
Anna, very good point! I'm on a mission to make the most of the next 2 weeks and not get grumpy! I've invited my partner to move in while the girls are away, my house is on the Market so the declutter begins, and I'm going to promise myself to make it to the gym I make charitable donations to, but never get the chance to visit!
The bonus of shared care is that I have a very stressful full on job, which I just couldn't do if I had full on custody!
I do miss the bustle of having my girlies here, but I can spend a lot less without them to save up for my holiday... (Spain with girls on the 6th!)
What has happened to Amy whitehouse puts life in perspective! There is always someone worse off!
Hi Adelelien
Sounds like you have a very busy couple of weeks lined up, partner, decluttering and the gym, the time is going to fly by! No time for feeling depressed or lonely!
Spain on the 6th - lovely, where are you going?? That will be lovely 
did you have a look at the article I posted above? It has some links within it, one of them is 'Making Mums Happy' and that has day to day tasks that you might enjoy when you do have an hour or so and you don't want to carry on clearing up the house.
Have the girls gone yet?
Eldest dropped by today..think she is missing me too...so may see glimpses of her!
Going to Javea, with all my family, which will be fab...plenty of sun and sangria!
I know I must prioritise doing some nice stuff for me too...I will make it to the gym and have arranged drinks with old work colleagues on Thursday night, and then I'm nearly a week down!
Have a new kitten...he is really annoying, but at least he is company!!
I can tell that people view your time away from the kids as a positive thing. But I know how hard it must be to put a brave face on things. If it was me (I have one eight year old son) I would go to the galleries in London and have a wonderful time (a thing that he will only tolerate once in a while). Also it might be nice not to buy my clothes and make- up in the supermarket! Bliss the thought of a good old fashioned shop. 
However, even when you are enjoying things it is still hard to shake that feeling of having lost your handbag that comes with having children. I have to share my lovely son with grandparents, aunties, uncles and friends with young children. This is just one of the drawbacks to having angels as children. How much worse would it be if no-one wanted to spend time with your kids???
Hi Adelelien. It's good that you're able to be busy. not easy though, I'm sure. It's lovely that your eldest popped in to say hello 
Hi Adelelien, are you just trying to make us jealous!
Wonderful to have a holiday with family (as long as everyone gets on of course!) sun and sangria, yummy!
It's nice that your eldest can 'drop in'! Did she come in for a chat or to collect something?
Are you heading for the gym today or Friday to work out hard after your Thursday evening drinks??!
Hi ebonystatus, a trip to the galleries and then shopping for the afternoon, what a lovely day out :) Do you get the chance to do things like that, whilst your son is with family? From your message, I guess not as often as you would like!
It sounds as though you have got a great support network around you, my daughter is 16 now and although she is becoming more independant and great fun to be around, I think what is tiring is the constant worrying, planning, arranging etc that goes along with it! She is off next week for 2 nights doing voluntary youth work and to be honest - I can't wait!! I will be at work, but I might get to the Arts cinema the first night! 
PS. I love what you say"it is still hard to shake that feeling of having lost your handbag" I wonder if we will always feel like that, even when they are 40!
So, I'm coping better than ever before! I keep adding to my list of things to do, so that I have no excuse to be bored! I have been to the tip every day, and have finally made it to the gym! I have carpeted my understairs cupboard even today! Oh and had a lovely pedicure....
I am excited and apprehensive about J moving in temporarily... I expect that's normal- once bitten twice shy etc... But the kids won't really be staying here all holiday, so it is perfect timing for us to try and see if we can cope!
Definitely looking forward to seeing some sunshine soon!!
Good luck with things Adelelien. You've done so much today!
Hi Adelelein
Thats great to hear you are coping, we are forever changing and never know what is around the corner. Although maybe previous holidays have been tough, it sounds as though you have come through that and are moving forward. You certainly are keeping busy!
How long is J staying? for the week or for the holidays? Is it about while the kids are away mummy can play?! Or an actual practice run?
The weather is delicious today, I hope you are getting some too, although that doesn't mean you can skip on skip duty!! :)
I hope it stays nice for you and you have a good evening, oh and the kitten behaves himself!
Hi Adelelien, welcome to One Space
I have one 16yr old daughter but she doesn't see her father any more. It sounds as though you have come to a good arrangement with your daughters father and it works out well, except for the holidays when you feel the separation of family life.
Are you working? Could you take 10 days and go and do something you have always wanted, but never got round to? Could you persuade one of your married friends to run away for a cheap break into Europe? Or go and join a travel club where you visit one of the Seven Wonders every year. Or a week of yoga retreat!
You have really got me thinking of all the things I would do if I had 2 weeks off!
Sorry, you have said you do not enjoy this time. What is it that makes you feel so low do you think? Do you miss the family unit? Do you miss their dad or do you miss cooking, tidying, picking up after, mediating, washing, hoovering and everything that seems to go hand in hand with being a mum and running a house?!
When did the girls go? when are they due back?