Bah humbug | One Space

sparklinglime

My Christmas present from my children...

One box of those long After Eights in a scrumpled Asda bag from my eldest.

Nothing from the others - not even a card (loads of stuff here to make cards, and youngest had cards he designed printed off at school costing me £10!).

I was too busy too notice on Christmas day, but I could cry today.

I did have a present from next door, and money from my sister and in-laws, but no presents, as such.

I know I'm taken for granted anyway, but even so, at their age, they could have got me a bar of chocolate each.

Posted on: December 27, 2009 - 1:00pm

hazeleyes

Hi Sparkling
I'm so sorry. You work so hard for your children, so it's sad that they couldn't do something nice at Christmas time. I can only imagine how you are feeling. Perhaps, once Christmas has passed, you could maybe sit them down, and explain how you felt.
I hope you are ok.
Take care
Alison
x :)

Posted on: December 27, 2009 - 5:29pm

Claire-Louise

Hi Sparklinglime
I do feel for you after all the hard work you put inot helping others and ensuring everyone is happy and has everything they need. I think Alison's suggestion is a really good one although I think I would be tempted to add an ultimatum on to it, that if they don't get something for you, then you might use some of the money you would use for their presents to get something for yourself from them!
Presents don't have to be expensive, it is the thought that counts and maybe that is what they need explaining to them - a way of them expressing their gratitude and love for you.
You could ask them how they might feel if they didn't get any presents?
Thinking of you
Love C-L

Posted on: December 27, 2009 - 6:47pm

sparklinglime

We've had a discussion, and they've hung their heads in shame - well, the 13 year old hasn't, but I don't expect him to understand.

I'm having loads of hugs, but I'm being rather horrid and telling them it's too late now!! :D

I'm eating Quality Streets and feel very sick.

Left eldest at work, telling him I'll think about picking him up later... 8-)

Posted on: December 27, 2009 - 7:15pm

hazeleyes

Yep, let them suffer in shame Sparkling :lol: :lol: :lol: Go easy on the chocs, you don't want to be ill!!
Claire-Louise, sounds like you've had a wonderful Christmas, and the parties are still going on. Have loads of fun, and enjoy every moment.
I'm physically and mentally exhausted. I don't seem to have had a minute to myself. If i've not been in the kitchen, I've been in every room picking up after my son. In between this, playing games etc. He has been as good as gold though I have to say. He's full of cold, with a bit of a sore throat, and needs a really early night!!!!
My bed is calling me LOUDLY, but now I see the little fella is building a car!!!
Hope everyone is ok.
Alison
x :)

Posted on: December 27, 2009 - 7:57pm

Claire-Louise

Hi Sparklinglime and Alison
Thanks for your posts. Good to hear you have had a chat with your children about the lack of presents, Sparklinglime. I hope they still remember that chat in 12 months time?! You might need to keep reminding them as 2010 unfolds! It is a good lesson for them to learn so stick to your guns. Good to hear you have had a chance to catch up on some well needed sleep and hoping you are feeling a bit more refreshed now?
Alison - I hope you manage to get some of the sleep you are after. It sounds as though you have had a very active time over Christmas, keeping your son entertained. But it sounds like it has been good fun too. I hope your son is feeling better too, my daughter has not been 100% over xmas with a cough, cold, stomach upset which has been a bit sad but she is still pretty bright and happy just a bit weedy and emotional.
Last night we had this party for my friend (my son's fairy godmother!) as it was her birthday andit was a really lovely evening with a small bunch of close friends together having a dance and general merry time and not too much clearing up to do afterwards either. The kids loved it as they had some of their friends (children of friends at the party) for a sleepover and they were all really well behaved so it all went pretty smoothly. I am feeeling a bit tired today however after about 6 hours sleep! I feel like a flop infront of a film this afternoon, snuggled under a blanket with the children :P
Looking forward to New Year - we are having an open house for friends and family to pop in any time, day or night. Not done that before so will see what happens, might get a steady stream of people or none at all, who knows?!
What are you plans for New Year?
Cheers C-L

Posted on: December 28, 2009 - 3:41pm

hazeleyes

Hi Claire-Louise
Your New Years sounds brilliant. I'm sure it will go according to plan, and you'll have lots of visitors. Really pleased everything went well last night, even though you're dead on your feet today. Good luck with the snuggling down this afternoon :lol: :lol: Not worked for me at all :evil:
No plans here for New Years, so I guess it will be the same as Christmas for us. (Now you have me feeling sorry for myself).
Have a good, much deserved rest.
Take care
Alison
x

Posted on: December 28, 2009 - 3:49pm

sparklinglime

OOOO yes, Claire-Louise, that does sound brilliant. Have a great time!

Posted on: December 28, 2009 - 7:15pm

Louise

Parenting specialist

hi alisoncam

I do think New Year can be a bit of a damp squib after Christmas (or maybe it is just that I am a damp squib myself :oops: ) I think New year is a good time to pat yourself on the back for all you have achieved in the past year, which is a LOT for single parents! and to look to the future as we go forward together.

At least we don't have to endure the Andy Stewart show on Tv these days :lol:

Posted on: December 29, 2009 - 9:14am

Louise

Parenting specialist

Hello sparkling lime

WELL DONE for sharing your feelings with your children. When we are partnered, we can reasonably expect the other parent to make sure the kids have organised cards and gifts for us whereas when we are lone parents, then there isn't that option. I can remember one Mother's Day and how sad I was that I didn't even get a card, after I felt I had slaved all year for the boys. In the end I told them how I felt and I must say, service has improved ever since. It's all part of their upbringing, to learn how others are feeling.

Hope you are a bit less bah humbug today?

Posted on: December 29, 2009 - 9:24am

lightatendoftunnel

Hi sparklinglime,

Sorry to hear you didn't get much. It's harder when you're alone when you do everything yourself, including having to tell your kids to buy a present. I know Mums are taken for granted, but for one day of the year, even for a few minutes it's nice to feel special. So when kids don't do anything it really hurts.

One day, when kids leave home they will really appreciate what you have done for them. I'm sure they will completely spoil you rotten then and give you ten christmas in one day!

Posted on: December 29, 2009 - 9:54am

sparklinglime

They all gave me a Curly Wurly from their selection boxes yesterday, and my daughter gave me a flake... :?

One day, maybe... I think if I'm still going by next Christmas I'm going to buy me a load of stuff for under the tree - just to see their faces. :D I probably won't though, of course :lol:

I have to confess to not putting tinsel on the car. The ice was deadly, and the fear of falling too great.

Posted on: December 29, 2009 - 12:08pm

Louise

Parenting specialist

I agree the ice has been quite scary this year, you can always do it next year though.

I think it would be a good idea to collect little things throughout the year for yourself, wrap them up so you forget what they are and just let them appear under the tree heh heh ;) I imagine the january/February is quite a good time to get fab stuff in charity shops, either gifts that didn't suit people or other things they have donated to make room for the new stuff.

I know that Curly Wurly is your favourite as well :D

Posted on: December 29, 2009 - 4:50pm

Anna

Parenting specialist

Hi sparklinglime

The little rascals! I think that from now on whenever a holiday, present time comes around..... easter, birthday etc, you should be reminding them how important it is! I think actually you should tell them all to make you a card to show just ho sorry they really are, that would be much better than hoardes of chocolate (I know we all love chocolate, but making a card means they have to take 5 minutes out of their busy schedules!!)

Posted on: January 1, 2010 - 1:42pm