Lindsaygii, I defer to your greater experience of TV!!! I hope the programme will also feature a super single dad (Bubblegum??)
There is a groundswell movement at the moment in favour of dads.....not just separated dads but partnered dads as well and there has been some debate about whether men can get shoved out of parenting in general, and how they feel about it.
From my experience I would say that men do get sidelined.
I don't care any more but in the beginning I did and I've been on my own since my daughter was five months, I was constantly having to battle against the idea that men can't be as good at bringing up children, a view that I disagree with : )
What I do comes naturally and it would to most men just as it does to most women should they be put in that situation and have to get on with it... and that is exactly what happens to women, pregnancy is all about the woman as is giving birth, it's something growing inside of women, men are just 'the sperm donor' .. and then the world of advertising and just generally everything around us continues to compound that idea that bringing up children all that nurturing growing thing is exclusively for women... and basically the man has to stand around on the edges fitting in how and when told to, expected to..
OK that's not my experience but it's what I've been seeing around me since I started mixing in these kinds of circles (people with babies) even in the nicest of middle class families.
And yes some men are bastards and bugger off at the first sign of a baby but that's because they can I suppose, nothings growing inside of them to get attached to and women can't run away from their own belly.
I had lots of those running away kind of thoughts while my wife was pregnant..
Hope that made sense.
Hi Bubblegum
Even in my own experience, where the 'sperm donor' didn't want to know, I agree that men do get a bad name with regards to fatherhood. Even in a relationship, women often say that they are still left to deal with the kids etc, while the partner does 'his' own thing. It doesn't always come naturally to a woman either. I know two fathers who have bought their children up, because the mother didn't want them. My cousin was one of them, her own mother disowned her because of it. As a woman, I find this very hard to understand, but it was her choice. I do however think she should have thought about her 'maternal' instincts before giving birth. She would have saved an awful lot of heartache.
You say you had thoughts of running away, but you didn't. You are now a full time Dad, and from your posts, you sound like a fantastic one.
Hope you have a lovely holiday with them
Take care
Alison
x :)
Hi,
I think sometimes the men go off and do their own thing because the woman takes over and does everything and they (the men) are unaware when it is they should be doing something..... maybe ? or they think she seems happy doing it all I'll just nip down the pub then, I'm not need here, see you later dear, do you need any nappies?
..and I suppose if someone else is always doing something then some people will quite happily carry on letting them do it.
But it's not everyone and there are lots of good mums and good dads out there and some of them even manage to live together ...and still be good.
My kids holidays started today as it was one of those inset days, what ever they are.. so I took them to a party and then to my sisters and now we are home and I've started on the wine.... and later I'm going to shoot things in video games.
:)
Some really good thoughts here. I do agree, Bubblegum, that parenting can become the woman's "domain" and I have seen many young fathers in particular pushed out by the mother's family (when the couple is not co-habiting)
On the other hand I have seen parents of both sexes walk away from their kids.
Of course men and women can make equally good parents :D
Yes that's right that single dads are more unusual, 10% of single parents are dads and 90% women. I sometimes think that the media regard dads parenting alone as evoking "more sympathy".
Thanks for that, ficurnow. WE have certainly seen the full spectrum on these boards through the different experiences that members have.
It's good to see you again, ficurnow, hope you are well :D
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