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'on benefits'

jennyj

Hi not sure if this in the right place i dont get to come online much but just wondering if anyone else feels looked down on for being on benefits. I live on benefits at the moment as i'm single and looking after my 2yr old full time. I'm just so sick of hearing things like 'scroungers', 'spongers', 'benefit mums', etc. I worked full time before and will again and i do think i'm doing the right thing as my son needs me at home right now and he comes first but whenever someone starts ranting about people on benefits it still upsets me and makes me feel like i am a scrounger even though i know i'm not :? . Has anyone else had this problem or am i just being too sensitive? :(

Posted on: January 4, 2010 - 1:34pm
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hazeleyes
DoppleMe

Hi jennyj
You are not a scrounger, and nor am I, or many others on here. Single parents have a full time job, caring for the child(ren). Don't let people upset you, they just aren't worth it honestly. You, also don't have to explain to anyone why you are on benefits, that is your own business, and no one elses. :) Hold your head up high, and feel proud that you are doing the very best you can for your child. Some single parents choose to go back to work, and others choose to stay at home. I chose to stay at home, and I'm really pleased that I did. I have no regrets at all.
I have neighbours that I have known all of my life, but I feel they look down on me for being a single parent, and being on benefits. I had to laugh though, when two years after having my son, their grand daughter was in the same position as me. Actually, not quite the same position, they are well off, so her child gets 'named' clothes, and I go to primark. :lol: :lol:

Posted on: January 4, 2010 - 1:52pm
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jennyj

Thanks Alison. The funny thing is thats just what i would have said :D I must be having a bad day!. I think sometimes it just gets too much when so many people look down on me even though i know its just small minded. Thanks for your reply :D

Posted on: January 4, 2010 - 2:04pm
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hazeleyes
DoppleMe

Hi jennyj
You are so right, it is small mindedness. We all have our bad days, and they aren't helped by morons are they? Enjoy the precious time you have with your two year old, in no time at all, school will start. My Mum used to say that to me, and I'd think, 'god, that is years away', but it really does go quickly. He's in first school now, (soon he'll be in college)ahhhhhhhhhhhhh. :lol: :lol:
Take care
Alison
x :)

Posted on: January 4, 2010 - 3:06pm
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lindsaygii

Jenny, I know exactly what you mean. I'm currently on benefits because I'm a single parent with a six month old baby. And frankly, the amount of tax I've paid over the years, I think I've earned it...

But yeah, the press and many politicians seem to think we're an easy target. And I do hate it. It really, really makes me angry to the point of tears when I hear them on the radio or see them on the telly.

I don't have a solution. I just have to satisfy myself with hating them, and looking forward to the General Election. ;)

Posted on: January 4, 2010 - 8:04pm
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sparklinglime
Online
DoppleMe

jennyj wrote:
Hi not sure if this in the right place i dont get to come online much but just wondering if anyone else feels looked down on for being on benefits. I live on benefits at the moment as i'm single and looking after my 2yr old full time. I'm just so sick of hearing things like 'scroungers', 'spongers', 'benefit mums', etc. I worked full time before and will again and i do think i'm doing the right thing as my son needs me at home right now and he comes first but whenever someone starts ranting about people on benefits it still upsets me and makes me feel like i am a scrounger even though i know i'm not :? . Has anyone else had this problem or am i just being too sensitive? :(

Oh yes... I worked for 22 years and still feel bad.

Someone though did point out to me that I am still a tax payer - I buy clothes, some food, electricity, fuel etc - all have tax on (hence the 'some food'). Although it doesn't make me feel any better really, it does a teensy weensy bit.

Enjoy your two year old. My oldest is 18 and one month old, and it doesn't half go by quick.

Great to see you here.

Posted on: January 4, 2010 - 11:48pm
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lightatendoftunnel

I work, but some people still look down their nose at me fo being a single parent!
You can't win can you?

Posted on: January 5, 2010 - 3:50pm
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sparklinglime
Online
DoppleMe

lightatendoftunnel wrote:
I work, but some people still look down their nose at me fo being a single parent!
You can't win can you?

Clearly you can't. That's awful though, isn't it?

Posted on: January 5, 2010 - 9:41pm
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jennyj

Hi am typing in a rush as my sons at very demanding stage so sorry if dont make sense!

All the replies have made me feel so much better even just to know that others feel the same.

Alison you're right it does go so fast i'm just going to try and enjoy it now cos i'll miss him so much when he goes to school (and college :o ).

Sparklinglime thats a good point we do still pay tax on things we buy have never thought about it like that before.

Totally agree with lindsaygii especially politicians they probably get more in expenses than we get in benefits yet they have the cheek to sit there and say mums should get back to work! Makes me so angry!

Posted on: January 6, 2010 - 7:20pm
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jennyj

lightatendoftunnel wrote:
I work, but some people still look down their nose at me fo being a single parent!
You can't win can you?

You right some people just love to judge others!

Posted on: January 6, 2010 - 7:26pm
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Claire-Louise

Hi Jenneyj
I typed a reply on here earlier in the week and then the computer froze (it is cold here!) and I lost it. So I thought I would add my thoughts again. I think it is really rubbish for people to look down their noses at single parents full stop, but especially those with young children. What do they expect single parents to do??? On the one hand the government and all the evidence shows that 0-5years are the most formative and inmortant in terms of development which means that children of that age should be with their parents and on the other hand the government want to get as many parents back to work asap which is ludacrous and hypocritical so please don't worry about it, you can't win either way - even if you do work so enjoy what you have and tereasure it as they do grow up really fast!
Cheers C-L

Posted on: January 8, 2010 - 3:35pm
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lindsaygii

It's just the usual thing where society likes to sneer at women. Career mothers are bad, stay-at-home mothers are weak-minded, single mothers who sign on are losers, single mothers who work are neglectful, women who don't have children are unnatural, old mothers are selfish, young mothers are just awful, etc etc etc.

And anyway, we're all too fat/thin/ugly/stupid/clever for our own good ....

We can never, ever win, except by ignoring them all!

Posted on: January 8, 2010 - 9:49pm
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Claire-Louise

Oh that is so well put lindsaygii - that is what I was trying to say but it just didn't come out like that - thank you! You have a way with words I think, have you ever thought about writing a blog or something more formal?
C-L

Posted on: January 9, 2010 - 3:56pm
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