Hi all, I wanted to start this as a new topic. I run parenting classes and everytime I deliver one I always learn something new about my parenting and dealing with my daughter. What I have found is that we very rarely pick up everything we are being told, but we do come away with at least one really useful tip/trick/skill!
So here is the place to share yours! I quote bubblegum to begin the tips:
I implement the 'When.. Then' thing I learnt on my parenting classes (the incredible years)... WHEN you have eaten your dinner THEN you can have some pudding : ) apparently you have to use 'when' over 'if' as 'if' sound like there is an option where as 'when' implies that they will be eating it and 'when they have'.... if you see what I mean.. all sounds very good when on paper or if you are sitting in a class full of parents holding A4 handouts, drinking coffee and biscuits while watching videos of perfectly behaving children doing exactly what they are told... and still smiling : )
Thanks bubblegum, that is great information.
When children are too big to crouch down to, the important thing is to keep eye contact with them, they then know you are serious and they have to listen! It is strange with an eight year old because you have to half crouch, maybe we should have an adjustable chair so we can stand them on that and re-adjust it as they grow!! It also means that they can't escape!! Tee hee!
I love what you say about popping in to see them after a telling off, because I often think as single parents, we sometimes feel bad if our child gets upset and we don't want them to be any more unhappy than we have already made them being from a broken home!!... I say this in jest, but many single parents I work with feel terribly guilty for their situation and I think children get away with stuff, because of this unqualified guilt.
PS. Type as much as you want! :)
Has anybody else found an especially useful tool from a parenting programme that has worked particularly well with their children??
:lol: Excellent :lol:
It is interesting what you say, I watched a programme (I think it was Supernanny in America - yikes!!) The mother had a daughter with Downs Syndrome, and she very rarely communicated with her, until she was shown that a bit of eye contact and encouragement can go a long way, her daughter was able to do far more than the mother ever expected!
Clear instructions go a long way to looking after our patience levels! ;)
Another one : ) (from the incredible years)
Always get down to their level, crouch down on a knee so that you are at eye level with them, I'm talking about small kids here of course, I no longer do it with my tall six year old (he's in seven to eight clothes that sort of hang off him) or I'd be talking to his navel. Generally when you explain stuff to them, telling them off or if you are giving them a cuddle and a kiss goodbye at the school gate.
Always make sure that they understand that it is their behaviour that you are unhappy with and not them when they misbehave, make up a short while after telling them off, don't let it fester on for half an hour or something. If I've told one of mine off and the stomp off in a huff, the first thing I do is tell them to come back and then ask them to walk up the stairs please, : ) then I go to them about 10 minuets later and see what they are doing and start a conversation with them so they know its all ok and I still love them and that they are still the most beautiful amazing child in the world : )
When I first became a single parent one of the first things I did was walk into my local Bernardos centre and ask what there was going on for single parents, the first thing they put me on was The Incredible Years and I got so much from it, not just in relation to dealing with my kids but for me, the realisation that everything I was feeling and having to deal with was all perfectly normal and there were lots of people just like me, well apart from the fact that they were all women that is, all going through similar things.
And lastly for now, sorry I type too much.. The biggest thing I have learnt from the courses I have been on is that, especially when they are pre school and nursery, your child's biggest role model is you.