Channel 4 Sexual Health Programme

Anna

Parenting specialist

Sounds interesting!

Do you think that we talk openly enough about sex in this country? Why do you think that Britain has the highest teenage pregnancy rate? Do you think single parents talk more to their children about sex than perhaps if we were with our ex partners??

Have your say here.

Posted on: July 16, 2008 - 8:48pm

SadieTwins

I agree, it does sound interesting... I don't think we do talk about sex enough....openly.... my thoughts are this could contribute to teenage pregnancy?!? Saying that I think its really hard to talk about it with your own kids. Mine are 7 so, we've only discussed biological basics and got books out of the library... Apart from that teenagers need to know about all the dangers (they think it won't happen to them, but we know they are engaging in risky sex), they need to know about the emotional side of the physical relationship. I think our society's values have changed so much. In the old days (I'm not harping back).. people courted (dated) and sex was a gradual process, now its one night stands if not at the first date possibly the second etc.... is this really healthy?... We have to understand how we as a society have come to this point, (the pill etc) in order to know how to handle it. But basically teenagers need to be told by their parents (or someone) about all the risks but also about having a healthy, mature, emotional relationship and how to deal with the many difficulties that can arise in progressing a relationship to a full on sexual one!! I for one want to make sure my children know as much as possible in a truthful way to help them make the right decisions. They're are going to do it at some point, its up to me to help them understand as much as possible about themselves and the situations they will encounter.

Posted on: July 17, 2008 - 6:04pm

OnlyMe59

I was brought up in the 60s/70s and my parents were always open about anything my brother and I asked about sex and the body. If we asked we got answers in a context we understood and grew up happy and confident about our body's and our sexuality.
I have been exactly the same with my girls; as soon as they started asking questions, I told them honestly and in a way they could understand depending on the age and stage of development they were at.
I have to disagree with SadieTwins, I don't think being open encourages teenage pregnancies, on the contrary I think it deters them. Its families where there is no discussion of sex it is seen as a taboo subject, dirty or wrong outside of marriage that makes teenagers want to find out what they're "missing out on"...My own experiences in the 70s are entirely different to my daughters'...I lost my virginity at 16 to my boyfriend of a year from then on there was no turning back and I enjoyed everything from one night stands to long relationships and don't regret a minute of it. It made me who I am now.

My girls have the knowledge that they can come to me with anything; one is in a year long relationship and they live together; the other is still at home, is 21 and I am proud to say is still "intact", she insists that she doesn't want to be like some of her friends who are on their 3rd baby since leaving school and wants to wait until she finds "the one" and good on her I say! I agree with the American way of giving 13-14 year olds one of those living doll babies that has a computer built into it to mimic everything a newborn does. Brilliant way to put off a would be teenage mum i say!

Posted on: July 18, 2008 - 2:44pm

Rosedragon

My parents were always very closed on the subject, although my mum would honestly answer anything I asked about. I have always been very shy with partners, although got better as I got older. I have always been determined to be open and honest with my daughters, so they will grow up to be confident (hopefully).

Posted on: July 19, 2008 - 2:42pm

SadieTwins

Hi....just wanted to say, I did mean that NOT talking OPENLY about sex can mean teenagers get pregnant... hope that sentence makes sense... or shall I say... talking openly and honestly, straight up, with teenagers is much better and could possibly prevent pregnancy as there is an open door for discussion with parents rather than hiding away and learning some half-truths from elsewhere!! Sorry for the confusion!

Posted on: July 19, 2008 - 9:51pm

wiseowl

I think its really important that we talk about it, we should talk about what we see on the telly, on music videos, about the girls dressed half naked, not calling them slags as my parents did, but honestly about what response they get from men, what message they are giving out. All young girls want to be seen as sexy and glamourous because society tells them that is what you need to be, to be attractive and get anywhere in life. All too often we slate girls for dressing like popstars, but until the media starts portraying sensible women to aspire to that men still find attractive, they haven't got any public role models. :x

Posted on: July 30, 2008 - 11:16am

Clarebear

I got pg when Em was 3 1/2 and being such a clever sausage, she asked questions from day one. Even to the point of watching a c section on discovery channel to find out about childbirth (I thought it was a normal pg, but it was a 'special babies' program!).

I have always answered questions truthfully, with an explanation eg. Your noo nah is where babies come out, and it does hurt, and there is blood, but it's okay, and I'm going to do it again, so it can't be that bad. But, your noo nah is private, and it's not something you show anyone. (just in case she decided to relay the 'having a baby' story to all at school!)

With regards to sex, she seems quite happy with the fact that mummy and daddy made a baby together and daddy put the baby in mummy's tummy at the moment, but when she asks I shall tell her again truthfully.

I lost my virginity at 16, engaged, to someone through the church. Because I was told you were married when you had sex, I thought this was okay. When it all went invariably wrong, I went through a real feeling of betrayal towards God (my betrayal) and then went through a real slut stage, so I feel that my parents way of teaching wasn't the best in hindsight.

My feeling is that there are books for children about this, but no books for OUR children, so take the books as guidance, and advise as you know your child will understand and will appreciate the love aspect as well as the importance of being special and not just a 'fun' thing. iyswim

Posted on: November 26, 2008 - 11:06pm