Probably! I've just been reluctant to press that button in case it generates a letter saying "we've been informed by your ex that....."
Do fall for psychopaths too?
:D
but! I don't know how it works, you could though go to the 'Job Centre Plus!' or where ever it is the CSA hang about and ask them how it goes and tell them your concerns?
I dunno.
Hi Lionheart99
Child support does get deducted from your Income Support BUT you can keep the first £20 per week so this would a significant weekly increase for you. They are discussing in Parliament at the moment about whether to raise this figure to £50 (the political point being that they want less burden on the state for things like Community Care grants and Budgeting Loans by increasing income foe lone parents without having to do that themselves :D )
You could contact your daughter's mother and explain this (not my soapbox political bit, :lol: ) and ask if she could pay £20 a week direct to you and so the CSA need not be involved? Say that you don't want a lot of argy-bargy for either of you. Look at this link about private agreements http://www.cmoptions.org/
Hi Summers1969
I am in the same position as you. I have asked for even £5 a week, (that would at least show the kids that the father cares eh). I have asked the CSA to get involved, but I haven't heard anything. The sperm doner lives in Spain, and the CSA need to find out if the hotel he works in is English owned. If I knew how, I would find out the info, and hopefully speed things up.
I'm sorry your son is feeling resentful towards his father. 13 is a hard age for kids, and all that they go through. I guess I will have all this to come. Mine is nearly 7. I tell my son that his father does love him, but at the moment, I don't think my son really cares either way, but I'm sure his feelings will change, (just like your sons)
What is it with some men, they think they can make a baby and then fail to acknowledge them, take no responsibility for them etc.
I have to say though, that I'm extremely grateful to be a single parent. The sperm doner is very immature, and doesn't accept responsibilities. (He left England cos of his debts) I am glad he doesn't have any influence over my son.
You and your son will get through this.
Take care
Alison
x
Hello guys
Firstly let me say that the "not caring what happens to the child" is not exclusive to men; plenty of women walk away too, believe me ;)
Alisoncam how long ago did you apply to the CSA? When a parent is abroad then it is often outside their jurisdiciton unless they are in the forces or employed by a British company, hence their insistence on finding out if the hotel is under British ownership. Anyway I am glad that you enjoy being a parent :)
Summers1960 hello! I hear that you are at the end of your tether with this one. Have you applied through the CSA? Is your boy's dad in this country? I don't know what your financial position is, are you on Income Support or do you work? if on Income Support, many local Councils supply school uniform vouchers. I guess if you have been on Income Support in the past you may have been affected by the recent changes in the law? Your boy is understandably angry about his dad's neglect but try not to "feed" this as it will only make him feel worse. Sometimes, as parents, we have to bit our tongues so hard I am surprised we don't have home-made piercings! :D
Yes it is difficult to keep motivated when you deal with a big institution! :shock:
Hello again deyone
I can hear how angry you are and exasperated with the system that seems to be on his "side".
Good idea to do a bit of digging around to see if he has told the CSA the truth. Even if he is still with the new child's mother it will affect the amount you receive as they would firstly knock off 15% from his wages in respect of the new child and you would get 15% of the remaining 85%, if you see what I mean. Or if he is not with her, they would take 20% from his income and divide it between you.
There is not a lot more you can do apart from find out about his circumstances and report it to them if you think he has hidden anything. I get a princely £40 a month for my son. He is 15 and you can imagine how far THAT goes when he eats more than an adult.
I've no advice here. I'm just sorry that you're facing this and can understand you being angry.
I feel the same with The Git.
Sadly, there doesn't seem to be anything that can be done with a parent who chooses to be irresponsible and care-free.
I know you have had some annoying experience of the CSA yourself, sparkling lime
I get £5 a week from the CSA for my two and she has since had another child that has been taken off her and put in care and I believe she is pregnant again. I still seem to be getting the five quid though, not that I really notice it... while she seems to be busily producing babies for the care system.
It is a minefield!!!
Deyone, let us pretend he has a income of £200 a week. If he is still with the child's mother then 15% is disregarded first so the relevant income would become £170 and you would be entitled to 15% of that, I make that £25.50 a week.
If separated from the other Mum then he has his original £200 and then 20% is knocked off for the two children (yours and hers) so each of you would get £20 a week. So you are better off if he is still with her. Hope a practical example is more helpful. He can also claim a "variation" (ie a reduction!) if there are special circumstances like having to travel a long way to see either/both children
Hello again
Ah I see, it is because he has a pretty low income. I am sure you will be delighted to know there is a safety net built in to help lower-income parents without care. In this case they are only allowed to take £5 out of the first £100 of wages and then they calculate a percentage of the income that is over £100.
Here is an online calculator www.childmaintenanceoptions.org/en/calculator. With the figures you gave me it looks as if he is not with the other child's mother
The main issue here is whether his weekly income really IS as stated and if you can prove otherwise. Even if he is on minimum wage, he can only be working 25 hours a week...or is he self-employed and only declaring that much, do you think?
You're right, there is absolutely no justice in the system.
Thank heavens your son has you to be a strong and fab parent to him!
Hi deyone, nice to 'see' you back again, although I see that you are furious with the CSA and yor ex - understandably so.
It is a minefield and I am glad Louise knew her CSA stuff as it is all very confusing to me. I never claimed it myself, thought it would have been more trouble than it was worth. It annoys me that the Benefits Agency don't persue him though, seeing as they are the ones who were covering for him.
It doesn't seem right that he can go off and have more children, but then pay less to the first one. Its crazy.
Yes! just tell them : )
here. Does that help?
: )