I am sooooo worried. i'm not sure i'm getting the best advice off my solicitor who doesn't seem to be putting up a fight. I don't want a fight but i do want fairness.
we have between us put together a proposal to my ex which basically would see me take on the debt we owe on our house. (this is very tight financially and may not work if i can't get a mortgage) In this scenario i would become liable for the whole of the debt we ecrued as a couple. If i was unable to get a mortgage, Then i'd have to move the kids out of their home. This assumes a 70:30 split in my favour disregarding his pension.
however when you take in to account his pension, it is more like a 55:45 in his favour and I'd still be taking on all of the debt.
Do you think pensions need to balance out or should they be disregarded???
My pension is OK but much lower than it would have been had i not reduced my hours to care for our two children.
My solicitor does not seem to think pensions should come in to it but the pension inbalnace seems to be my only potential bargaining tool....thoughts please
also, what is the legality of staying in the family home - again my solicitor seems to be saying i may have to sell and move which is the last thing i want to do....i'd like to stay in the home until the youngest girl who is 12 is at least 16...am i wrong in wanting to think i can and should be entilteld to do this???
any advice appreciated as i'm confused
Please see the other thread about the house http://groups.onespace.org.uk/viewtopic.php?f=21&t=116
I can't give you any legal advice but it seems to me that the pension is important as you need to think about the future. He may well be entitled to keep the lion's share of the pension but surely not all? If you are at all lacking in confidence about your solicitor then I would get a second opinion.
thanks for these replies.
as i say, i do not want to fight and i do not want to take any of his pension- it is better for both of us if they remain untouched but the disparity between our pensions that has come about simply as a result of me having taken time out to care for ther kids means that there now is a subtantial imbalance in the values of our pensions.
This is my only bargaining tool (i'll have x... and leave the pension alone was how i thought it might work) and the one that the solicitor seems to simply be discounting. anyone know where i can go /ask to find out what the precident is on taking pension imbalnbe in to account?
It's another solicitor if you want to find out about legal precedent, but this link may help http://www.communitylegaladvice.org.uk/index.jsp
Hi again headfulloffog
Let us know how you get on! :)
I'm going to see my existing solicitor soon to ask why pensions are not being taken in to account, now forearmed with the knowledge that they reallly ought to be. If they cannot come up with a reasoned argument why they should not be considered, i will seek a second opinion. thanks for you help.
Good luck headfulloffog, keep in touch and let us know how it goes. :)
Take care
Alison
x
Oh yes! (looks very intently at lindsaygii...........)
It's so difficult when you're not quite confident in your solicitor.
The option should be there to remain in the family home until the youngest is 16, if you can afford this...
In my case the family home had to be sold to pay off his debts, that were considered joint as we were married. I have had 50% of his pension, which I felt was important to me. My work pension is worth £250 a year, so The Git was very generous in not wanting to claim 50% of that.
Personally, it mattered to me that I went for the pension, in view of me changing my work pattern to be with the children. Ex didn't dispute that.
How do you feel about the figures when they're down on paper? Are you sure you want to take on all the debt?
To some extent, your solicitor is right to be putting up a fight. I think putting what is a good case for you can be done in a way that isn't hostile, and could be a good point to start when it does come to sorting things out.
Could I suggest that you don't go for a clean-break though, as in my case my ex wanted that which would have meant him not having to be responsible for the children too.
Best wishes