feelin let down | One Space

singleparentbris29

I am divorced with two kids and met a "lovely guy" who got on well with me my kids and I had a lot of hope for the future obviously because it was early days we didnt rush domestic things but I am gutted because he says he is joining the marines. I dont know how to feel if I am being selfish or what because I dont think I could handle this as he will be away for such long periods of time and I have been rowing with him about it and he has now said it is what he wants to do basically like it or lump it. I am absolutely gutted infact and cant help feeling that he is being selfish as it will be unsettling for the kids especially as their parents recently went through a divorce etc.

Posted on: August 24, 2009 - 8:17pm

Louise

Parenting specialist

Hi singleparentbris29

Firstly hello and welcome!

it's not surprising you feel so let down, you have been through a separation and all the emotional turmoil that involves and you have been keen for your kids to feel secure and stable and here was a chance of happiness for you all and you feel it has been snatched away again :( I don't think it is case of being "selfish", you have to do what you feel in your heart is right...and so does he. Maybe this is one of those situations where you have to see how it goes? What do you think?

Posted on: August 24, 2009 - 8:23pm

singleparentbris29

What is really annoying me tho is he has said that he was thinking about doing it all along so I am a little annoyed that he let the kids get so attached to him (I also had a lot of grief off my ex in the early days) . He has basically said if I am not happy about it there aint no point in us being together but will still be friends so he can still see the kids (I dont have a problem with this).

I was very cautious with my feelings in the early days and took things slowly etc and didnt introduce him to the kids etc too early Im really upset because I let myself fall for him etc and now having to go through all the same break up stuff again.

Posted on: August 24, 2009 - 8:31pm

sparklinglime

I've no idea what to say, but can understand that you're feeling shocked by this.

With hugs and best wishes.

Posted on: August 24, 2009 - 11:10pm

Louise

Parenting specialist

Hello again

Yes that must be very annoying :x and especially when you think of the possible effect on the kids, although you do say that he still wants to stay in their lives, which is a positive.....but if he is away all the time then I guess there is a limit as to how far he could be involved. Please don't let this put you off the possibility of new relationships though.

Posted on: August 25, 2009 - 10:14am