Hi, i was wondering if any one has any ideas for meal times! my son's food range is pasta, potatoes and eggs (but not the yellow bit!) honestly it's pretty much all he eats! he has sandwhiches at nursery but wont touch them at home (altho he did eat them at school!) so yeh if any ones got any meal ideas i can try with my son will be very much helpfull!
were also vegetarians! so no meat, poultry, fish or anything else that comes under those lines altho we do eat/drink dairy products so milk eggs and cheese altho at the moment my son dosent like cheese!
That's a good idea alisoncam.
My own view is that is best not to make too much fuss about food as it very easily becomes an emotional issue and one where the child gets to wield some power. So my first tip to you is to pretend not to care!
Secondly have a think about sources of protein and vitamins for him.I guess milk will give him both of these things. Your own diet, if vegetarian, may include lentils and pulses for protein so think about how you could include these for him, it sounds as if he is wanting bland foods at the moment.
Thirdly, you could try a bit of psychology on him, maybe with the help of other people. This could take two forms: having other children over who eat a varied diet and make a bit of a fuss of them and the other way is to put something boring like a few pasta twists on his plates while you have something a bit different on your plate and your Mum's/friend's. The trick is for the adults to totally ignore him and his pasta but to go into absolute ecstasy about what you are eating yourselves ("yum, mmm that is LOVELY, oh how nice, I really like it, oooh!") In the end he will want to try it, when he does then as he is tasting it for the first time, go into ecstasy again so he associates enthusiasm with that food, But all along you have to pretend not to care at all......
a few good ideas there! my son will happily sit there and eat bauld pasta! with no comments he hates sauces so he just has it plian and simple any ways lol. i made him some noodles last ngiht and he didnt eat it cuz i put som peas in with it :( he loves noodles and he LOVE peas! lol just didnt want to eat them together so he sat there with a slice of bread and butter and that was all he ate last night!
he's not fussed if he's hungry and wont say anything about being hungry which i find highly strange! when he was younger he use to eat everything i put infront of him with no problems be it rice peas and cheese, pizza toast, (cant think of any more of top of head) but what ever i made for him he ate! now he wont touch toast if he's having something like baked beans it's with a slice of bread and butter on a seprate plate as he dosent like the two together!
the sandwhich shapes are good idea i have tried them before and he's taken 1 or 2 bites out of them and realised there the same as normal sandwhich just in a shape! (he's too clever for his own good! lol) i'll give it another go tho!
as for your idea louise sounds like somethign that might work will just have to find something different that pasta! lol plain bit of bread maybe!
well it's spagetti veg balls and sauce for tea tonight we shall see what happends
I remember my brother surviving on just cheese sandwiches! My Mum never ever made a fuss, didn't push him to eat 'normal' food. She would put a plate in front of him, and when he turned his nose up, she would then give the sandwich. Gradually he would eat little bites, until of course it increased. Mum had nine children, and would always say 'he will eat when he wants'. Guess that's the best way, no fuss or anything. As he grew older, he eats anything and everything!!!
i guess i'm lucky cuz just been talkin to me mum and she said that my brother survived on 2 weetabix and 2 digestive biscuts at meal times! lol
well i just asked him what he wanted for dinner and he's just said pizza :( unfortuantly we dont have any grrr! see what i can come up with! altho we'v got no tommy sauce ... hum ... gregs sells pizzas!??hum wonder if got enough money for one!
Yum pizza. I'm actually sitting eating cold pizza, left over from last night. Do you have iceland near you hatz? They do nice ones, and just for £1. Same as tommy sauce.
Iceland or Farm Foods or Jack Fultons. All sell cheap frozen foods and you can always be sure to have one or two things in. Once he starts eating pizza, for example, it is cheaper and more nutritous to make your own but, I don't know about you but I used to get very cross if they didn't eat my home made food!
My eldest went through a dreadful phase at age 14 whe he would only eat tinned ravioli or pepperoni pizza, and that was at an age where he could understand about healthy food. I have to laugh because now (at 20) he is manic about his "five a day", drinks lots of water and will only have carbs twice a day. 15 year old eats almost anything, apart from some types of fish, and sprouts. I brought them up both the same, it does not seem to make much difference.
yeh smillie, my lads 4 and will always say he dont want to eat when i think it's a case of he cant be bothered! it just come to me that the other day i remember him sat that saying big fat belly no want food??? i didnt take any notice of it as was doin the washing up at the time and also didnt tell him that it's not nice and he's not got a big fat belly! so i dont know! he's not said it since thankfully!
as to shops and things round here we'v got sommerfields and tesco's! lol we use to have kwick saves till that shut down! lol we do have farmfoods 7 mile away and icelands 10 mile away! lol but as i dont have transport i'll have to spend £25 to get free delivery from icelands and then got no where to put it as freezers are chocker with cheese and me step dads meat! lol it's mad! C likes to make pizza but often dosent eat it even tho he's made it.
another thing thats just come to me! he'll eat raw food not cooked! at the moment he likes raw mushrooms and broccoli but wont touch them when there cooked!
we got a pizza from greggs wasnt too bad price wise (and didnt realise till after we'd left the shop that my son picked up a ribena! oops!) but he managed 1/2 the pizza befor sayin he didnt like it! :( so he ended up with a bag of crisps! knew it wasnt to bad cuz he was gettin snack at nursery at 3! lol
on the nursery point once or twice a month i turn up early so i can see what he eats in nursery! it's either that or ask the teachers to write a note as to what he's eatten tell them that your having probs with him eating at home and would like to know what he eats here, they should be more than happy to write it down. i went thru a stage of my nursery writing down what he ate as they didnt put veg options on the menu board :( and ok some of what they give him i wouldnt give him at home cuz i cant stand it! but glad they give him something to eat lol he'll be on sandwhiches when he's at school just so i know how much he's eaten and everything for at least the first yr then we'll see what he wants to do as to sandwhiches or school meals!
scored a hit with tonights meal :) he had spagetti with flat sausage (veg burger! he wont eat burgers! but if you call them flat sausage he will eat them! haha!) and he ate 90% of that :) me and me mum had spagetti and veg meat balls with last night soup (thickend up!) and i made my step dad chicken and mushroom pie :) really impressed my self as it's the first ever time i'v cook chicken and me step dad was impressed as it tasted nice too! :) (and most importantly he's not keeled over!!!!) got to think of something for tomorrow nights tea now! thankfully only for me, mum and my son cuz me step dad has the rest of his chicken and mushroom pot left! :) well i'm goin to get goin for the night just seen that it's 12am and really tired now! shall chat to you all again tomorrow :)
Glad things went a bit better. You made me smile about the flat sausage, you're so right, you call it a different name and they will try it. As for the raw foods, why not? they are healthy and give a bit of variation. Well done with the chicken! Your stepdad wil be impressed. Just be careful or we will all be coming round to your house for tea, hatz.
This is not a hotel and there isn't a menu.
Food goes on the table if they don't eat it I give it to the dog, we shop on a day to day basis and so there isn't a cupboard full of conveniently preparable foods and we don't have a fridge or freezer either, so they know that should they choose not to eat their lovingly prepared meal then there is nothing till the next meal time except fruit from the fruit bowl, which is what happens if they are in some sort of defiant mood, and the funny thing is they think they are getting one up on me by stuffing their faces with fruit till they feel ill, can't get much healthier than that. Ha! I win.
Up until about a year a go I had them convinced that a carrot was a treat at the shop, they'd be harping on with can I have this can I have that, blah de blah and I'd say look if you're good and behave and stop going on then you can go choose a carrot and they got all excited. Unfortunately they've grown out of that now and just harp on about how much they neeeeeed and pleeeeease daddy pleeeeease I need this! as they wave some sort of bright coloured sugary chemically laden thing in my face. The trick is to not give in or the next time they'll just keep it up for longer cos they are very good at that, the persistent buggers.
Meal times are a time to sit down and listen to them chatting about the day not get into arguments about food. If they don't like it, then they don't eat it, they're not going to let themselves starve, they'll just be more willing to eat what ever at the next meal time.
Some pictures of them here and no that's not my daughter near the bottom drawing on some promotional brainwashing things at that place that sells burgers, no honestly no.
Later
Moi.
as i dont really have a say in the shopping in the house i have to go along with what is in!
my son isnt really too keen on sweets and wont actually go mad for them in the shop, and he knows if i'v said no i mean no! (altho sometimes he'll ask twice just to make sure!) he mostly asks for grapes goin round the shop which i dont mind if theres alittle pot of grapes goin! he loves his crisps tho but they are limited to 2 bags a week! the fruit bowl here is full too but i only let my son have 2 peices a day as i dont want him to get runs or anything so he's aloud 2 a day :)
Hey louise! if you wana come round and try my food then your more than welcome! just give me some warning so i can go to the take away first! hahahahahahahha (only jkin!) but yes if any one wants to come round and eat then please feel free! theres never any menu as i never know whats goin to come out of the ovan! haha! i was going to cook tonight but me mum said you do washing up and i'll cook something up tonight if you want lol! so i'm washin and she's cooking! lol we only have to do ours as me step dad still has 1/2 of his dinner left from last night! (i make more than enought haha i feed the 5000 when i cook!!!!!)
fun times :)
all are welcome round at my house for tea!
hatz
Bubblegum, you are so wise ;-) it is best to be laid back about these things and we all get ourselves quite het up as parents. I noticed a difference between my first and second child, used to get a lot more worried about number one, whereas with number two I tended to think "well, he will eat if he is hungry" (although number two ate everything in sight, which is probably why he is six feet two now.) I love your idea about endowing a carrot with a treat value! It's all about psychology with children isn't it?
Hello hatz, ah so you live with your mum and stepdad do you? hence the communal cooking. As for fruit, I have always had a rule round here that it is the only thing they are allowed to eat after tea. I mean, they can have a yoghurt at teatime, but if they want a snack later on then it is a banana or satsuma.
Hope you have a good day today.
hatz!
Yours only asks once? what luxury, mine follow me round the shop going pleeeeease, pleeeeese daddy, oh why not? but daddy you said, oh pleeeease, I promise to eat all my diner, etc. etc.. They pick up one thing and by the end of the aisle and they realise that I'm not changing my mind they just disappear off for a few seconds and come back with something else, and this goes on till I get to the chequout, at which point they get desperate and start bringing me smaller or more healthier things, all the way from family bars of chocolate through the expensive fruit like cherries and raspberries till they get to apple where I will say yes, or pear or something cheap like that, a banana even.
The buggers.
Louise.
They still bring carrots to me when all else has failed, it comes right after finger of fudge on their scale of desperation.
They still think the ice cream van plays music when it's run out of ice cream too, though the other day my son, he's seven bless his innocent mind, did put forward his hypothesis that maybe they played it when they were 'nearly' running out after he observed some children getting Ice Cream from a silent ice cream van.
I'm so cruel.
Aaahhh Bubblegum, yes you're cruel. Let them have a wonderful treat, and get them an ice-cream!!!! I used to pretend that the music meant the children were coming out of school, (this of course worked before he started school). As for the carrots, I used to use baby tomatoes as a 'special' treat. He still loves them, and would rather have one of those than a sweet. I found when he started school, it got harder regarding sweets etc. He saw friends being picked up and given a bag of penny sweets, and I would hand him a piece of fruit! The Mums would look at me in shock, with pity on their faces for C.
My neighbour never cooked her son's veg, they would never eat it. So for a sunday dinner, they would have the meat, pots and raw veg with gravy. Nothing wrong with that as it's so healthy.
Hi hatz
My daughter went through the phase of wanting only 'white' food, luckily it was just a phase.
However, I am reading the posts about your son's eating habits and thinking that he is trying to assert his authority (bless him), maybe he is seeing his stepgrandad eating food that you and he don't and wants to take more control over his own meals?
BE Warned: I used to ask my daughter nearly every evening what she wanted for supper, as it was easier for her to tell me than for me to think for myself(!), I had too much other stuff going on. NOW (at 15), she asks me whats for supper about 5ish and whatever I had planned, depending what was in the fridge, or what I fancied eating, she doesn't want it, agghhh. I don't need a discussion about it, I have been at work all day - wish I had been more forceful and in control when she was younger.
When I was a child, I had to eat what I was given, no questions asked and finish it. A bit like bubblegums parenting, I soooo wish I had done that now.
You mention that when he goes to school you will ask him if he wants school dinners or sandwiches, I wonder if you really should ask him? He is too young to really know, he may keep changing his mind. Our children need direction, give him what suits YOU best.
Another point on this subject, my ex's mum used to cook 3 sometimes 4 different meals EACH night to cater for her grown up sons, her husband and herself and I vowed I would never do that however many children I had, we all eat the same and at the same time. I am not cook/chef/skivvy, I firmly believe we need to teach our children boys especially as well as girls that food is food and you get what you are given, it is not our job as parents to cater to their every whim or fancy.
Although, it is always easier to say this in hindsight!!!
I think that what others have said is absolutely right, don't let your son see that his eating habits bother you. Give him what you give him, maybe get him to help you prepare and then let him get on with it. If our expectations are that they will eat it, in time, they will. Don't let meal times become a worry or a battle :)
I just wanted to post today as we have had a sucsess :) (how ever you spell it!) i took on the advice of puttin a small amount out for him to try and then if he really didnt like it i had an alturnative ready on the side. i'd made pasta bake which my son would NEVER try in a million years! (well the 3 that he's been eating food for! lol) pasta, tomaote and herb pasta sauce, onions, yellow and green peppers and mushrooms :) with a nice layor of cheese on top :) yum yum and double yum! lol so i put a small amount in the bowl for him to try and he saw that i had put some for him and ran off sayin he didnt want to eat. so i went and got him and said it's time to sit down at the table i told him that i put him a bit to try to see if he liked it. so he sat there me and me mum had ours and started to play syain really nice, what colours can you see and blowing in to the pasta tubes to make them whistle and it worked :) he started eating it! the first couple of pastas we didnt say anything and then after he'd eatten about 5 pasta bits he stopped and said he didnt want any more, so i asked him to eat some more which he didnt and then said that he wanted MY plate :O cheeky monkey so he ended up with my plate of pasta bake and i filled his bowl up! but he ended up eating just about 1/2 of the bake of my plate :) he didnt eat any of the veg on the plate but he did eat the pasta tomarto sauce and cheesey bits :) i was so happy with him :) so it's the way to go next :) going to keep up with the seprate portions for him and then have somehting on te side just in case!!! :)
Well done!! Sounds like a bit of a breakthrough, as I said before just don't let him see that you care very much whether he eats it or not and you could be on to a winner!
my son tonight just wasnt in the mood for tea :( made him pasta, flat sausage (burger) and a tiny tad drop of tomarto pasta sauce! and he threw a big strop about it :( but cuz i'v looked after someone elses girl today while he was at nursery i had enoght! she's a very fussy eater and i went thru EVERYTHING in my cupboard, pantry, fridge, freezer and where ever else we had food and she said NO to the lot of it :( so she ended up with a chococlate spread sandwhich, and cuz she had tested my paitents a bit today it was just a case of with C get on with it so he kept going on about he didnt want flat sausage he just wanted pasta so i grabbed his dinner chucked the pasta in the the bowl and chucked it back infront of him. (i did say sorry to him about how i reacted and he said sorry back to me as he realised he'd pushed me too far!) but yeh it's been one of those days :'(
My son's aloud a pudding usely yogherts or a special treat will be either ice cream or lolly (but for that he has to have been a good boy all day at nursery/home and eaten all his food all day!) he's not had a pud today cuz he didnt eat his tea and he's not been good at nursery :( but there we go! life is life! lol
Hello hatz
How frustrating! Sounds like this little girl was maybe not the best person to have to tea if you are trying to role model better eating for your boy, in fact I would give fussy eaters a wide berth for a while, if at all possible.
As for sweet things, I am with Bubblegum, it is emotional label we attach to food that gives children these messages, hence his carrot trick, lol.
hatz, today is a new day, enjoy!
Hi Hatz,
I've been trying to find online a section from a book I have called the Incredible years, it's from a course I did about five years ago, I got so much from it that has helped me with my two who are nearly six and eight now.
I couldn't find it though so I guess they just want you to buy the book, the buggers.
I did find this though, a bit american but maybe it will help.
I've found that the best way to deal with meal times is not to make it a big deal, if they see that it is to you then they will use that to their advantage. It's very easy to let mealtimes become something of a power struggle, the trick is to get it so that your child thinks that you don't care weather they eat their meal or not.
It has in fact actually got to that point with me, I don't care, starve you buggers. Daddy I'm hungry, yeah and that's because you didn't eat your dinner, and I gave it to the dog who appreciates my cooking.. maybe tomorrow you'll think twice... and they generally do : )
Your child isn't going to starve himself to death and the urge to eat will always overcome his urge to be in control of meal times.
And! there is no such thing as a perfect parent and a perfect child and having children is nothing like you see in adverts with perfect laughing children all happy and well behaved, sitting at the diner table cleaning their plates off. They aren't like that, unfortunately : ) mind they would be pretty boring if they were, personally I like naughty cheeky happy children smiling at how cleverly they just pulled one over you : )
Most the time at least.
If only they had some sort of dial on the back of their heads where you could adjust them to more suit the occasion, like a setting for eat, sleep, be quiet, or explain exactly what happened at school today, because 'oh nothing' isn't an exceptable answer.
And unfortunately we aren't allowed to beat them with big sticks anymore. Though I have explained to them that years ago it was perfectly acceptable and still is in some parts of the world to beat you children so eat your bloody food or we are emigrating to one of those places.
(joke) :D
Hi hatz
What was interesting in your post when C ate the pasta bake, was you only gave him a small bit. I wonder if that could be a key for a while, just put a tiny bowlful in front of him?
Hi HelenT
I have never been a pudding eater, my daughter always asks for icecream and occassionally I would give in a buy it, but she was only allowed it if she had eaten all her supper/lunch. I am like you if she didn't eat her food (if she was legitimately full, she could leave some - but not just the veg!) there would be nothing else til breakfast. They soon learn!
I do have a friend that ALWAYS provides pudding, I am always too full to eat anything other than main course, but my girl could eat buckets of it!
Eating disorders tend to come from uncomfortable meal time situations in childhood. It is soo important for us as parents to model healthy eating, good table manners and NO stress and for our children to to have a healthy relationship with food.
Think about what you were like, what did you like to eat, how did it make you feel if you were forced to eat something that made you gag! How did your parents persuade you to eat something you didn't like? What do you eat now?
I used to absolutely hate peppers, mushrooms, olives, courgettes, lentils, salad leaves, tomatoes etc etc etc, I love all of the above now, the one thing I am still really not keen on is celery 
ugh!
heya everyone! was so TIRED last night that i didnt make it on :( hate being tired! lol am such a weirdo really! lmao love my late nights as well as my early mornings but once a month i just cant do either 
!! (that once a month is now) blerrrrrr! (sorry tmi!(to much info))
my monster has asked for rice for about 2 nights on trot now and as we hadnt had the pack rice on hand i'v had to say no but tonight i'v managed to cook up my first EVERY batch of PROPPER rice! lmao!!!!!!!!!!!! i dont know what it is but just recently i'm tryin to become more adventurus with making food! (sorry i cant spell!) so i'm even making me step dad something with meat in it, made him a chilli last night with stincky beaf mince in it! lol and then tonight i did the chicken again and put it in with the rest of the chilli from last night :) he loved it again! he's takin it in to work with him and told him to give some to me brother as i'v always said i'm never goin to cook meat! lol and here i am now 26yrs old cooking meat for the first ever time! (just got to get over the smell of things!) any ways! lol made me step dad a chilli and was meant to make us a veg curry and we had a indian packet mix of spice sauce so put that in and i'm not a big fan of spicey food so when i phoned me mum to say that it wasnt very spicey at all she knew it wasnt! and so we left it for the day to soak but it still wasnt spicey, so it ended up being mixed veg with a hint of spice on a pile of rice! lol all fun tho :) as i was saying (right back there at the start!) C has been asking for rice so he got rice today with a pile of peas :) i put 2 spoon fulls of rice on his plate and he wolfed that down and then he asked for mroe :) so tonight he's eaten 4 big spoon fulls of rice and about a mouth full of peas! :) so pretty pleased with him tongith!
as for the girl i was lookin after she's still fussy as ever thankfully bringing her own lunch with her has helped me cuz havent had to find something for her to eat! (if it wasnt for school hols round here she would have been at school not with me!) monster finished his dinner (bowl of pasta) by the time she'd eaten 2 squares of her sandwhich 
i find it so strange! lol in all my years of working with children i'v never met one that was so slow!! i'v possibly got her 2 days next week but got to wait and see what her parents can get off work and things! lol but at least i got a nice little break now 
i got a couple hrs work in my friends cafe to do tomorrow which i'm greatfull off :) i love cafe work and now i have been made redundant from my last cafe i'v been givne a chance in another one which i'v become friends with all the staff there :)
were off to a seaside on saturday :) dont know which one lol but one of them!!! we'v had 1/2 the drive way done today and it's looking GREAT and has kept the kids here and over the road entertained with the digger on the garden and crane dropping stuff off then another load of stuff! :) also the skip lorry that was dropped off today too :) my son went crazy at that point lol watching that come off the lorry with the extending arms and then the loud bang as it hits the floor! haha! no dennying he's a boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
any ways i'v prob gone totaly off track as usual lol but there we go tis me! :) as i said bit of a weirdo who cant spell lmao late night early mornings! haha! (not as bad as i was at college tho! i use to servive on 1hr sleep a night!!! 5am till 6am god knows how i did it or what i was doing from 12-5 in the morning lol but there we go!)
catch you all laters if you make heads or tails of this message! lol
H x
Hello hatz
You are entitled to be tired, we will not be cross with you I have to tell you that the older you get, the less likely you are to be able to do the 5am late nights!
Hope you enjoy your bit of cafe work and I am glad that your son is eating better, you sound as if you are on the right track.
Seaside tomorrow then?
yup were off to the seaside tomorrow :D whoop! :D going to be fun fun fun! (hope the weather will be sun sun sun! lol)
yeh i know i wont always be able to do the 5am sleeps and up at 6 lol not been able to since college but i crashed out last night and woke up with an empty bed at 7am this morning and i feel back on top form whooooooop! :D wide awake for a change! WOW! lol not had this feeling in YEARS! altho i was lyin there last night thinking it would be nice to have someone other than my son to cuddle up to so i might see about going on a bit of a search to find someone special in my life! been too long i think! lol since monsters dad left me before he was even born (monster that is! lol) i'v had about 2 relationships and ok i have come to the conclusion that i dont need this to get by but i'm getting to the point that i just want someone that will be there for me and someone that will cuddle up to me :) that sort of thing but there we go may be one day i'll find someone... for now i keep my options open and see what happends :)
i just posted up a made stroy about my morning so far! lol (and a few other things about my life!) was funny this morning with what my son was up to!!!
any ways i got to head off for a bit! chat laters xxx
Hi hatz
I hope the day at the beach was good, i am envious! Did your son enjoy it? Is he a paddler, a sandcastle maker or bury himself, or do you play beach games?
I love waking up and feeling on top of the world, it is such a good feeling! I hope this week is going well for you?
we had a brill day at the beach! ended up at Hunstanton nr Kings Lynn cams a bit of an everything on the beach lol likes to dig and build, play in the sea, burry his feet and play games! lol so he's abit of everything on the beach!
we went on a big boat thing got on and it drove down in to the water and around the coast which was really good! monsteroo enjoyed it and he could go and sit on the bow of the boat too so he was more than happy!
we went round the town for a few mins found a good shop that sold pretty much EVERYTHING you could ever want (which my parents nearly did! lol!)
and that was my weekend :D (should i say our weekend!)
this week i'v had little miss monday and today tuesday was a day at job centre in a boring meeting about i dont know what! lol but at least i got my money back on the travle!! :D tomorrow hoping to take monster to soft play for the first time in aout 2months! and he's been asking to go again so see what money i get tongiht and should be able to take him a long :D give him a suprise
friday is a day of i dont know what! not sure what's happaning on friday yet!
saturday is a day i have been roped in to volunteering at my mums work place and i'm goin to be helpin in the world cafe theres a big ... HUGE food festival happaning in coalville which my mum and her college has organised
any ways i better get goin! chat soon x
Hi hatz. Isn't it wierd what the kids can do at school, but not at home?? hehe. If your son ate the sandwich at school but won't at home, perhaps you could try making shapes out of them, ie, hearts, circles, even a gingerbread man?? Making them more exciting for him might tempt him a bit more. I did this for my son when he was younger and it worked.