Hello!
Hi Peg
I'm so sorry that you've had the need to seek the board out. What a dreadful shock for you and the children to deal with.
I've been on my own a long time now - five years - I was married for 20 years, but the marriage had been over really for a few years before that.
I found it too difficult to watch him drive away with the children, so I always took them to his place and he brought them home.
I really hope that being able to talk things through will help to sort things through.
My very best wishes.
ah guys, never be afraid to show your emotions, it is what helps to heal us. I had similar experience with the man at the garage, my nanna had died and it was the last straw on top of my separation, I threw a massive tantrum because he pointed out (quite rightly) that my MOT was overdue :oops: Anyway we became friends after that even if he did make a rather non-PC remark about ladies and their hormones :o
Purplepeg, it is really hard when you don't understand "why". I know this is something that other people on this board have struggled with and maybe Pansy or sadsy have some words for you on this topic? It is also about redefining our identity isn't it? Myself I never thought I would be a lone parent and it was a surprise to find I was one. Be kind to yourself and take each day as it comes, You might also like to have a quiet time at the end of every day where you pick out just one positive thing about that day and feel glad about it. Some days it might be nothing to do with you personally, it could be "the sun shone" or "the garden looked nice" but it is good to know there is something to appreciate each day, and gradually there will be more things appearing like "I coped with seeing my children's father a lot better today" or "I sorted out that hassle with the electiricty people", that is things you have done yourself!
Take care
Hi purplepeg
One thing to do when the children are with their dad and the house is quiet is put some of your favourite music on, from when you were a teenager. It is amazing how it can change your mood and remind you of better times, or times when you were young and free and it felt like the world was your oyster! :)
Hello squeak2711
I love the idea of having your daughter's picture to focus on; that's fab! :D
Hi purplepeg
"Lessons learnt", that is an interesting idea. perhaps we could have a topic called " Things I wish I had known!?
I am now INTRIGUED as to what music you would put on with the offensive language, do please tell! :o
Oh, my son has a Guns and Roses T shirt, explains a lot........ :lol:
Actually the topic you suggest, purplepeg, could turn out to be a combination of funny and sad. People who have not been through this process can say things that are meant kindly and are just the WORST. Other people clearly set out to wound us from the outset.
Hope you have a fab picnic and get some decent weather!
Hello purplepeg and welcome to One Space. Yes it IS good to know that there are other people in the same boat as you. Times when the children go to the other parent can be some of the hardest of all.
I notice that you talk about keeping things together for the kids but also say that you love your husband. Are you thinking that he will come back after he has "found himself"? it is important always to know where you stand as it can be terrible if they come and go, as others on this site have found :( What an awful shock for you after 13 years, I imagine you are reeling. There is a book that will help you, "Putting Children First" by Karen and Nick Woodall, available from amazon or play.com
Have a look around the site, purplepeg, and join in any of the threads that take your fancy. I am sure that others will also say hello to you as they check in :D