Hello from Bristol

Murray

Hello. I'm a single dad with 2 wonderful and energetic daughters (9+10). My wife died of breast cancer last May so I guess I've been a single parent for half a year now, though it hasn't really sunk in yet. I've been a home dad since 2003 and what with holding the fort during my wife's illness I've found single parenting to be a kind on continuation, just more intense and at times more awkward. I was in a relationship with my wife for almost 24 years and the sense of loss and grief has been devastating. The children have been my anchor throughout and I've found it remarkable how well they've coped and just got on with their lives. I'm looking forward to 2010 now (as it surely must be a better year!) and I'm hopeful I'll be able to get more on top of things.

Happy New Year to everyone!

Posted on: December 31, 2009 - 3:46pm

hazeleyes

Hi Murray
Welcome to One Space. I'm so very sorry to hear about your wife. It is still very much early days, so I'm sure it hasn't sunk in yet.
Children are a great line to cling on too aren't they, I think they are our rock!
I'm sure lots of people will be on here at different stages during the day. There are lots of different forums for you to visit. Everyone here is so welcoming, and supportive.
What are your plans tonight? Whatever you do, I wish you and your daughters a very very Happy New Year
Take care
Alison
x :)

Posted on: December 31, 2009 - 4:11pm

Murray

Thanks Alison. It's nice to feel welcome :)
We're going around to a school friends house for a party. I'm a bit apprehensive as I won't know many people, but at least the girls will have a blast and we don't have to drive.
Hope you enjoy your evening
M

Posted on: December 31, 2009 - 5:14pm

hazeleyes

Hi Murray
It is a bit daunting isn't it, when you don't know many people, but I'm sure everyone will welcome you.

Quote:

I'm a bit apprehensive as I won't know many people, but at least the girls will have a blast

I hope, you, as well as the girls will have a blast! Let us know how it went.
Take care
Alison
x

Posted on: December 31, 2009 - 5:17pm

sparklinglime

Hi Murray

I'm so sorry that you've lost your wife.

I hope you all have a brilliant evening.

I too look forward to getting to know you.

Posted on: December 31, 2009 - 6:01pm

lindsaygii

Hi Murray. I answered your post on the other thread. This is just to say I'm sorry to meet you in such awful circumstances. Speak soon I hope. L.

Posted on: December 31, 2009 - 9:17pm

Louise

Parenting specialist

Hello Murray

Firstly welcome to One Space. Do join in wherever you like, you will be made most welcome. I am so srry to hear about the loss of your wife and although you say it has not sunk in yet, you will have had a very draining and emotional lead up to her death as well. That is suh a lot to deal with so don't expect too much of yourself. I am glad the girls are doing so well. I sometimes think they are more resilient than us adults! Also I am sure you are a fab dad to them and that really helps.

Did you enjoy the party?

Posted on: January 1, 2010 - 9:51am

shortie2

welcome along murray. Am very sorry to hear about the lose of your wife. it'll get easier by the day and everyone here is so welcoming. Happy new year to you and your children.

wendy xx

Posted on: January 1, 2010 - 12:37pm

Anna

Parenting specialist

Hi Murray, welcome to One Space!

Sorry to read that you lost your wife, I imagine this time of year has been particularly tough, 6 months is not a long time to be coming to terms with losing someone that you had in your life for so long. Be kind to yourself. :)

I hope the party was good and got some good conversation, sometimes it can be a real joy just talking to other adults about really mundane things, I find!

Look forward to talking with you more, feel free to join in anywhere on these boards and ask questions or just give your point of view.

Did you make any New Years Resolutions for this year? Mine was .......no more New Years Resolutions!! :lol:

Posted on: January 1, 2010 - 1:02pm

Murray

Well the party must have been quite good on some level, as I'm only ready to face the day as the sunlight is fading :)
Thank you everyone for your lovely welcoming messages. It feels great to have found an outlet to talk about single parenting - pretty much all my friends are couples with children.

Louise: the girls certainly seem more resilient than me - they have busy lives with school and various activities and just seem to get on with it. They've really got into swimming and I think that being members of a close knit club has been a great support for them (and keeps me busy too!).

Anna: my new years resolution is just to sort my life out :lol:

Posted on: January 1, 2010 - 4:59pm

hazeleyes

Hi Murray
Sounds like you had a good time, ;) Do you need a pair of these 8-) :lol:
Hope you have a relaxing evening. I'm hoping desperately for one, and hoping my son goes to bed about 8!!! (wishful thinking maybe)
Take care
Alison
x :)

Posted on: January 1, 2010 - 6:55pm

Anna

Parenting specialist

Hi Murray

Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life!!

I hope you have recovered from yesterday?! Its a beautiful day, the sun is shining and its the weekend! What more could we want.

Re: sorting your life out, where will you begin? what needs sorting? We are here to support you in any which way so please let us know if you need information in your local area to give you any advice, training or whatever you can think of :D

Posted on: January 2, 2010 - 11:10am

Claire-Louise

Hi Murray
Welcome to Onespace. I am really glad that you have found this site and I hope you will find what you are looking for here. There is a great bunch of people who are all very supportive and have a lot of shared experiences which can be a great way of learning and moving on. Feel free to have a good look round the site and join in wherever takes your interest. You can always start new topics of interest too! The party sounded good - sometimes it can just be quite refreshing to get out and about and talk to a new bunch of people (although it can be a bit daunting too!)
Your girls sound like they have been a real support to you and they sound like they are quite mature for their ages - is that true?
two of my very close friends have lost their mums to cancer this time last year and they obviously find this time of year really hard, but also a year on and they are still finding it really hard to come to terms with. I find it really hard to even imagine what it must be like. It sounds like you were nursing her for some time before she died, did that enable you to prepare yourself a bit and say all the things you want and mean to say to a lved one before they pass away?
Well it sounds like you have embraced 2010 head on with your party and I hope the rest of the year continues to be as fun!
Speak again soon.
C-L

Posted on: January 2, 2010 - 4:46pm

Fuggles

Hi Murray.
I think I used to work with your wife (M?). She was a fantastic, funny, strong and eccentric woman and I really enjoyed knowing her and working with her.
I hope things are working out well for you and the girls.
Keep strong - you will be fine.

Posted on: March 26, 2010 - 8:29pm