Hi all
I am not sure if this is connected to what has been happening at school, but for the first time since starting school, I have come up against the 'not doing homework'. My son 7 has always eagerly done it, (without much prompting from me). At the weekend, when I mentioned the homework, I was met with 'so are you forcing me to do it?'. I replied, 'if you were at school, would you refuse to do the work'.
My son 'no, but I have to do it when I'm there'
me 'have I given you this homework?'
my son 'no, the teacher did'
me 'I'm not forcing you, the teacher gave it to you, so you have to do it'.
The work is way too easy for him, so I know that isn't the problem. He sat down and did some last night, and it took him 5 mins!!!!
He has no choice but to do it of course, I am trying not to lose my patience with him, and hoping this is a one off thing. I have told him that if he doesn't do it, then obviously there are consequences at school. He will lose his playtime etc. My question is I guess, if this carries on, do I give him a consequence at home, as well as the school? You see, I've already told him that if he ever gets told off at school, depending on the situation of course, I wouldn't be cross with him at home. For example, if he was talking in the classroom, not sitting properly etc, then I wouldn't be cross, but for something like being horrid to someone, then I would be cross, as I wouldn't tolerate that. Am I doing this right?
Oh, the joys of homework.
Nightmare here with my 13 year old (school finally have agreed help there, as it was causing great upset at home - he has special needs. It only took them a year :roll: )
My youngest. He's now in Year 6. I let him face the consequences at school. It does mean missing play time for him too, but he knows this, and the school knows I try...
I hate school more now than I did when I used to go!! :lol: (I used to quite like school, really)
Sounds as if you have explained things to him really well, alisoncam. it's always difficult to motivate them if a child either can't keep up with classwork or if they find the work too easy.
I would try a consequences approach at home. You can choose the carrot or the (metaphorical) stick. The carrot would be something like a star or sticker chart, winning a sticker every time he does his work without moaning. On the other hand you could decide that if he doesn't do his work then he loses out on his TV programme. If you do decide on the latter then I have a suggestion for the way to do it. Instead of saying "Well! if you don't do your work then there's no Spongebob Squarepants" in a cross voice, try sittingback and saying (as if you're thinking about it) "Well you CAN choose not to do it, but then unfortunately there'll be no Spongebob, it's up to you"....and walk away as if you don't care. That usually works a treat and teaches them that a. it is not a weapon they can use against you and b. they DO have choices but they have to take the consequences.
Hi Harissa
I quite agree that the work isn't challenging enough for him! I too have mentioned this to the teacher, when he was in year 1, (last year). She was absolutely brilliant, and set him extra work in the classroom as he was always the first to finish. However, the teacher he has now, I don't think she would help in anyway, so I probably won't even approach her.
I shall continue doing stuff with him at home, as I've always done. It just seems such a shame that he isn't being pushed to his abilities at school. When he was at the nursery, the teacher had him assessed, and I was told that he was gifted. She advised me to keep on at the school, (once he had started). I did this, but ..........
Hope you are keeping ok. Have a lovely afternoon
Take care
Alison
x :)
Hi Sparkling
That is absolutely disgusting that it took them a year to give your son the help. I know the parents have the same problem at my son's school. Unbeliveable!!!!
Today, my son told him (without me saying a word) that he will watch Horrid Henry and then he will finish his homework! :o
He's had a fabulous day at school, so that also could have something to do with the attitude.
Thanks Sparkling
Have a lovely afternoon, sunshine is gorgeous again, long may it last
Take care
Alison
x :)
He's a good lad!
The first parent's evening for my son in High School was very interesting. I saw the SENCO before I saw the teachers (you have to queue to see each teacher), and ended up questioning the teachers as to whether they were aware that my son had special needs and if he was having one to one in the class. I was raising my voice with them in the end! I see little point in statmenting a child if they don't act on it.
It was straight back to the SENCO after, I could see her face drop! She's very good though, to be fair.
Last year was his second year, and in the parents evening his year tutor called me over and asked if I could explain to him how my son's head worked. He listened and took notice. The teachers by then were getting to know my son a lot better and could see that if he's interested in the subject he's quite brilliant! I also got an agreement for the teachers not to have a go with me about homework. It could take two and a half hours of tantrums and stomping to get him to do five minutes of work. Nightmare. Absolute nightmare.
One night the older, after another yelling session dragged him in, he was on the floor. One was pulling a leg, and youngest was following in tears carrying the school bag... I know it sounds hilarious, but the following day was when I spoke to SENCO to say that I was no longer doing this to the other three. She understood.
It's not as if he sees it as getting away with it, as his head wouldn't see it like that. He just moves on to the next with without feeling he's won and no feeling of guilt. I think it must be quite nice at times.
Alison, I had exactly the same issue with my son for the whole of his last academic year, year 6 (age 10/11).
You wrote "The work is way too easy for him, so I know that isn't the problem". Actually, that may well BE the problem! My son's arguments boiled down to his belief that, as the work was so easy, it was a waste of his "valuable time" (his words, lol) doing it. I looked at what he was doing in his "valuable time" and invariably it was doing things which were either physically or mentally challenging. Conclusion - his homework needed to be more challenging! I even took it up with the school but to no avail.
He's now in his 1st month at secondary school and suffering an avalanche of homework for which he is ill-prepared. It doesn't help that the school assumes that all kids have access to their own personal computer and have internet access. This has been quite a barrier as other people use our sole ancient household PC so it is a fight for him to use it when he wants to or needs to. I even had to write a letter saying he had done his homework but we couldn't print it off as I cannot afford ink for the foreseeable future; fortunately they let us email it in to his teacher.
I've just posted a request on Freecycle on the offchance that some kind person can give him a computer of his own. Then the little blighter will have no excuse, hopefully...