Firstly, you need help.
Your GP and health visitor can advice you here. You could be suffering from post-natal depression. They can also give you some advice as to what options there are open to you.
How old is your baby? Boy or girl?
Do you have any support from family and friends? Do you mind me asking (and please don't answer if you don't want to) why this has been so hard for your parents to deal with.
There is support. This is where your health visitor can help.
http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/portal/page/portal/Website
This is an organisation for lone-parents, who will be able to offer advice.
http://www.netmums.com/home/home/
I know that work within the television industry is so competitive, so I've no idea what to suggest there.
Please do keep posting. It may be virtual, but we can offer you some support.
Hi..
Once your child is in full time education you'll have lots of time to your self to do you things.. that's what I've found at least : )
But apart from that what sparklinglime says is good advice, you need to talk to someone.
I replied to your post as all those things have gone through my head at some point or other over the last couple if years. Having spent my life up until nearly 40 wandering about, place to place, job to job, did a bit of TEFL too : ) and then to being stuck with two children, buying fridges and beds and furniture for the first time! having a house!!!!
But I'm 44 now (just ok!) they are both in full time education five and six and I'm quite content : )
So it does get better, I promise : )
later.
Hi again lindsaygii
Not much to add to what the others have said and I have already posted to you on another thread, just to reiterate that there is lots of help here as you have already seen. I notice you have mentioned the cost of childcare elsewhere. You're right, it is very expensive and the places have to be paid for even when the child is sick etc......Just to mention to you and anyone else reading this in the same situaiton that as long as you work at least 16 hours a week you can get 80% of childcare costs back when you use a registered childcare facility. It is not ideal as you have to start shelling out in the first place before your tax crtedits comke through but at least it deos take the burden off in the long run.
The feelings you have expressed are ones that I think all parents have had, whether single or partnered so it is good you feel able to share them and get some support.
Stay with us ;)
Hi lindseygii
I completely understand your frustrations at this time, what you said had me thinking though:
before I got pregnant was leaving my career, learning to teach TEFL and planning to move to SE Asia to be nearer to the diving and the lifestyle that it entails.
Would you consider doing this anyway with a baby in tow? Lots of women do. You might find in Asia more of a network of childminders etc as well? Either within the local community or the ex pats? It was just an idea. Life doesn't have to stop here.
Good idea about sharing with another single parent, the trend seems to be taking off, when my daughter was younger I thought this would have been a great idea, but I never had the guts to go looking for it!
You still have your whole life ahead of you, it is just going to look slightly different. How are you feeling today?
Hello lindsaygii
Sleep can make so much difference! I know that weaning ages vary (and the received wisdom seem to change very frequently) but if you get a resumption of the bad nights then it might be worth asking the HV whether she would recommend a few spoons of baby rice at teatime?
I am glad that they are looking at the question of depression, so hopefully you will ge some help. And the trip sounds like a fantastic idea! :D
Hi lindsaygii
Your plans sounds brilliant, and its so good to have a goal.
I'm so glad you're having support from your GP and HV - that is so important.
Good for you planning to travel.
Do take care, and look forward to hearing how things are going.
Best wishes
Hi lindsaygii
I don't really know what to say. Having a child definately changes your life, no question about that. Whether you're with the partner or not, everything changes. Lots of women and men who are lone parents juggle a career and children, so it doesn't have to be all doom and gloom. You say you always wanted kids, but like the rest of us, it wasn't how you imagined. I mean, raising the child on your own. It is a struggle, being on benefits, but I chose to stay at home raising my son. That alone is a full time job!!!
Do you have friends who could maybe take your child for a few hours? There is a link on One Space called Netmums. Perhaps you could meet up with other single parents? The sleepless nights will eventually stop, though it is extremely hard when you are going through it. Have you spoken to your Health visitor, or Doctor. You might be suffering from a bit of depression.
You have a beautiful child who relies on you for everything, but it does get easier.
Lots of people here will give you support, so keep posting.
Take care
Alison
x :)