lonely, anyone in cardiff?
Hello bry77
Firstly, welcome aboard. There is lots of online support here. This cold weather seems to be making feelings of loneliness worse as everyone is out and about less. Sooooooo 2010 is a brand new year. It sounds as if you really need to meet other parents. Have a look at http://www.netmums.com/coffeehouse/ and you can find out what is going on in your area. It is worth trying all the different outlets and going along to any local toddler groups (ask your health visitor). The world is your oyster so do some research and get out there and find a whole new life.
Of course, we are here for you too and many members find the site particualrly good company in the evenings when the little ones are (hopefully!) asleep.
Keep posting :)
Hi bry27
Welcome to One Space :) Yes it can be lonely being a single parent, but it is also so rewarding at the end of the day. That's not helping you much right now though is it? Would you go to Mother and Toddler groups? Like Louise suggests, Netmums is a good place to start.
This is a lovely group, with lots of wonderful people. You aren't alone, (even though it does feel like that at times). Keep posting, and we'll all be here for you.
Take care
Alison
x :)
Hi bry77
Welcome from me too!
My brother has just told me about 'Meet Ups' have you heard of them? You google Meet ups, then put in your postcode and find out what groups are in your area, its very cool! You could have a look there.
Have you made any friends at your daughters creche, toddler group, check up at doctors. Do you go to any of these things??
Due to popular misconception (often portrayed by the media) very few people make the decision to be a single parent. It is a very tough job and they would be crazy! :roll:
Hi Bry27
No wonder you were down! So? He has moved on, and you will too.
So, how has your day been? There are lots of people on here who are interested :)
There is an evening chatroom on here, but it isn't an instant messenger thingy. Its good fun, and we do have a laugh on it.
I hope you are feeling a bit more upbeat today. Just keep reminding yourself, no more loo seats to put down, no stinky socks, no fighting over the remote control :lol:
Take care
Alison
x :)
Good heavens, bry27 I bet that was a dreadful shock for you -and seven pages of details! Whilst I am glad you have found strength in this, it seems a very drastic way to achieve this and your sense of betrayal must run deep. It's good to hear that you have the support from family and friends and I hope you can put the horrid details bahind you and move forward in a positive way
Hi Bry27
It's lovely to see you back. :) That must have been a dreadful thing to read. Hopefully, you can move on from this. It sounds like you have been given the strength to go forward a bit.
Keep in touch, and let us know how things are.
Take care
Alison
x
Hi Bry27
Words fail me, and I'm sorry that you've had to face the shock of this message.
Sending you loads of hugs and strength.
Hello bry27
Good to see you back :-)
I agree that it is inappropriate to introduce every new potential partner to your young daughter and as for doing that while you were still together, words fail me!!!
You ask how "restrictive" you can be. The ultimate answer is "not very" because he could eventually take you to court and get defined parenting time.Within this process, unless you could prove that the new partner was violent or a habitual drug user, say, then the court is not going to place any vetos on who he mixes with during that parenting time.
So, bearing that in mind, you need to think about what might help. You could ask him to come and visit your daughter at your home (but this involves you being there as well and if there is conflict between you then I would argue that that would be far waorse than the introduction of a random new partner) Is there another family member or friend who could intervene? How about asking him to go to mediation with you? Find your local office here http://www.nfm.org.uk/index.php?page=Local Offices
If he will not go to mediation then you need to think carefully about whether to raise the stakes and "refuse" parenting time, with its possible legal consequences
Hi Bry27
Oh my, what a shocker, its surprising what a woman scorned can go ahead and do i.e sending pages and pages of information about her relationship with your ex. Shame she didn't think it was so wrong at the time.
As Louise has said, it is very hard to get what you consider is the right sort of access to your daughter, it is worth talking it over with your solicitor and getting in touch with the mediation people. I spoke to them on my own which was very useful (ex didn't turn up!)
A lot of single parents raise the issue of our ex's new partners being around our children, but there is so little we can do about it though as Louise explained.
If we think it is important for our child to have contact then we need to trust that as long as they will be safe with their other parent, we have to let go of any other worries that we can not control.
Your daughter will know that you are her mum and he is her dad. If many women come and go in his life, it will (in the long run) just show her what sort of man he is. I think we worry so much for our children, but the bottom line is US. My daughter is now 15yrs and all the **** her father has put her through and all the worrying I have done over the years, I now recognise that my consistency has created who she is regardless of other influences, mine has been the ultimate.
Have you managed to meet anyone in your local area yet?
Hi bry77
I do understand where you're coming from.
The posters here are very supportive, and can raise a smile.
It will be great if someone from Cardiff says 'hi' too.
It's good to see you here, and hopefully we can offer you some company.