Hello sparkling,
How are you doing this morning? Anna is so right, you are a total star but you are allowed to have a bit of a crumple......you help so many people and it's good to take care of you, too.
Know what you mean about the birthday, it feels strange (and hurtful) when they don't realise how you feel. I remember being actually jealous of my son for a while thinking wow he has his whole life ahead of him and look at my life! I have got my head together now but it has been hard seeing him off and away.
So you like it when the spring comes and the buds are on the trees? I think most people love that sense of something in the air. Let's look foward to it and in the meantime we are here for company during the darker days :D
My daughter's birhday is at the end of February. Once that's 'out of the way' then The Git usually loses interest again. Of course, he may not this time...
Hence me looking forward to March 8-) And yes, to the longer days again.
I just don't like having to consider The Git in things. The first two years I did - texted him if the children were ill/dentist/school activities etc. Did everything I could to keep him involved. I just feel that his total disinterest in the children the rest of the time doesn't warrant these big fusses when it's their birthday or Chirstmas. He should be like that all the time...
I find that difficult added to the missing my parents bit.
I have a mind that whirls. It doesn't really want to shut down - even with writing things at bedtime. So I'm having an insomnia phase too :D
Otherwise I'm fine. :roll: :)
Oh I know what you mean, I have a whirling mind too. Sometimes I wish I had an "off" button! :lol:
Well you have done your best to keep him involved, it must be sickening though when he suddenly decides to play Lord Bountiful. No wonder you look forward to March. I guess one thing I can say is if you think about your eldest son, wow, he is almost an adult now and I expect the time has passed quite quickly and as all of them get older they will make up their own minds, very much so :)
I've written those breathing exercises down, and I'll give those a go. I have read them, but didn't absorb them :roll:
I've been to my son's (youngest) Christmas concert this afternoon. I find I have managed to do the concert on my own for the last 13 years. I'd go in the afternoon, and when I was married their father would go in the evening (they always have three shows) - on his own :roll:
Anway I know the Secretary who told me The Git had phoned for a ticket. As there are two per family, she offered him one ticket. He wouldn't go without his wife. So he's not going. The show is an hour. I've had to try and explain to my son that dad isn't going to watch him, and I've told him that Dad feels The Gittess (I don't call him or her that to the children - honest) would be missing out if he went without her. Perhaps I'm a bit odd here thinking he should go. Youngest is in Year 6, and it is the last Christmas concert.
I'm not quite sure if the Secretary gets a kick out of telling me this. I smiled sweetly and said 'oh'.
I used to buy him the tickets, and would get an extra one if there were spares, but two years ago he told me he'd sort it from now on. He has a Calander so is aware of when these things happen. School also emails info - which I have also told him - but then that bit is up to him. I'm waffling on as I'm expecting a nasty text off him.
My in-laws didn't come (there were separate grandparent tickets). The weather is so awful, father-in-law wouldn't be able to manage in it.
Concert was very sweet - just singing - and as only 6 people were on the stage, you didn't get to see 'your' child properly anyway. Had a good chat with mother in law when I got home.
I had my interview with the lone-parent advisor too, which is very helpful with regards to my claiming DLA. I feel a bit better about things now.
Eldest has texted his father to say he's not going to see him tonight. (They've had a 6 - 8 time slot allocated to them this week). :D
Hi sparkling lime
What a shame his dad couldn’t spare an hour to go to the concert on his own. The secretary sounds a bit of a stirrer, too. I once went to a summer concert for my eldest and his dad came and sat next to me and as it was warm we both had Tshirts on and his bare arm touched mine, eeek, never again. :o
Year 6 can be an emotional time, do you agree, sparkling? The last of your babies soon to go off to big school :(
Let us know whether the breathing exercises Claire-Louise has suggested are helpful. My “tip”, for what it is worth, is to imagine a nice scene, mine is a little desert island with the blue water lapping the shore and I am in a small boat just offshore, basking in the sun. When all the thoughts zoom into my head, I try to banish them with concentrating on that scene.
Glad you feel a bit more settled about the DLA thing :D
Thanks for the extra info about the breathing thing, Claire-Louise, I did try it myself and if I hold my breath for a long count then it is hard to breathe out slowly but I can do it if I don't hold my breath!
How are you today, sparkling lime?
I'm ok thanks.
We're tackling the living room, now the Saturday splash thing is out the way (10 weeks of it).
I've told my 13 year old no Christmas decorations until it's clear 8-) Shame I can't use that argument in August :roll:
There's snow on the mountains, and they look beautiful. Every day I'm grateful for our home. A view across the fields to Snowdon and to the mountains. I am so grateful.
That sounds so lovely!
Yes, good motivation for them to get cleared up for the Christmas decorations. My 15 year old does his room out like a grotto. Instead of an Advent calendar he has a small artificial tree in his bedroom with 24 small chocolate toys hung on it, nice way to start the days in December. That reminds me, need to get it down from the loft, I think he is big enough to get it down himself now (6 foot 2 :lol: )
Don't forget the tinsel on the aerial, sparkling lime!
The children have small trees in their room, and my now 13 year old has fairylights around the door, around the wadrobe, around the chest of drawers he uses as a table, around the window and a snowflake light up thingy in the window... 8-) Lucky the other two boys like Christmas too!
My daughter is not quite so bad, with fairylights around her shelves, and a something light up or other in her window (depends on what is working and what her brother hasn't nabbed!).
I also have a giant inflatable Santa that I stick in the front garden - only for a few days. I got it for £8 a few years back in focus one summer.
I'll find a photo and stick it in flicrkr!
SPARKLINGLIME
Please do not post your photo onto Flicker (well you can if you want!!) but we would like to see it on our very own Family Quilt.......http://interactive.onespace.org.uk/quilt/index.php?page=1 PLEASE! :D
The mountains sounds heavenly, can we get a picture of those too?? :P
I'm so sorry Anna, but it shows up as fatal error each time I try to get a photo on there. I do try - honest...
We've no plans for Christmas yet. 13 year old has been getting stuff in from the garage in the hope it will dry out and work - it has 10 days :roll:
No idea what part ex would like to play yet. So I don't really plan until the day before I cook. He gives 24 hours notice of when he wants to see the children, so I just make sure that stuff can be cooked a day later if he should decide he wants them there for dinner (I 'made' him cook Christmas dinner for them back in 2006 :D He lived close enough for them to walk there) He usually sees them 10.30 - 12.30pm though (his choice, incase some think I'm giving him a time slot - I'm not, honest).
It will be a frugal, but hopefully funfilled Christmas.
Wondering if anyone wants to place bets on me being ill be next weekend? I'm usually ill throughout December.... stops me from singing Christmas tunes. ;)
School nurse called in today. She asked if it was ok for her to call at such short notice - I said it was prefereable to not calling at all 8-)
That must be really annoying waiting for him to decide when he can see the children :? Sounds like he usually manages to avoid the early-morning chaos AND cooking the lunch, with that time slot he chooses :lol:
So you don't like the Christmas singing, sparkling lime, is that because this is not your favourite time of year anyway? I find the Christmas music very emotional and although I love singing it is hard to get through a full song without crying. That has only happened to me since my divorce.
Glad the nurse finally showed up, better late than never
I'm resigned to him choosing the time slots he does. If I have ever asked to him to give them tea (he'll usually see them 6pm through to 8pm), he'll say 'no'.
:roll:
I love the Christmas tunes. I just figure that the rest of the world appreciates me coughing rather than singing! :D I find some of the tunes very emotional, yes, especially the ones my mum and dad enjoyed.
I'm sorry you do too. The selfish part of me is thankful I'm not unique.
Well sometimes when we know that other people are affected too, then it helps us to realise that we are not alone ! :) We wouldn't be human if memories did not stir emotions. I must say I do enjoy watching church services on TV and singing along sometimes, although my boys usually tell me to shut up. Don't think I will ever be on the XFactor :oops: unless in one of the rather cruel audition porgrammes.
My boy has his tree up now, sparkling, and has eaten some spare chocolate toys already so I am waiting for your festive report from your neck of the woods....
Well sometimes when we know that other people are affected too, then it helps us to realise that we are not alone ! :) We wouldn't be human if memories did not stir emotions. I must say I do enjoy watching church services on TV and singing along sometimes, although my boys usually tell me to shut up. Don't think I will ever be on the XFactor :oops: unless in one of the rather cruel audition porgrammes.
My boy has his tree up now, sparkling, and has eaten some spare chocolate toys already so I am waiting for your festive report from your neck of the woods....
I always have the Christmas songs of praise on and I put the subtitles up. The children sort of come and sing along, but won't sit with me to watch it.
The Christmas lunch I went to today is with Carer's Outreach. It was in a retreat in Penmaenmawr. I've been before, and it was where I stayed with my friend Maggie last year. It's peaceful. There were Christmas Carols playing and we were humming along. I left them there having a quiz!
X-factor - I can't see me there either!! (Nor my daughter, but shhhhh, I didn't say that)
Don't say that, sparkling lime, you will have to be one of those Mums who strides into the audition room, accompanied by ominous music, to tell off Simon Cowell for not putting your daughter through to the next round :lol:
Glad you enjoyed your lunch trip yesterday
That bally car will be with me for life to remind me of the mess it's got me into.
The Git (or Gitess :D ) has told me he/she doesn't want the car after outbidding others who had asked question and wanted it. It would have paid a teensy amount of what I've got on the credit card trying to fix it (and possibly a bit held back for Christmas).
More hassle.
sparkling lime all I can say is :evil: Can you put it up again? or approach the lower bidders?
I've approached the next bidder down. I'm not holding my breath though :) I was going to buy myself an electric blanket. Probably would have just set the house on fire, anyway :lol:
I might stick it on autotrader next week. My eldest is going to take some photos (with his new camera 8-) ) of the interior to add on too. As basically, the car is lovely - which is why I kept repairing it. **sigh**
Never mind. I'm no worse off (well £8 seller fee) than I was before I stuck it on ebay.
I know, it is just hassle you could do without.....
Good luck sparklinglime :)
Panic attack.
I've just had the most awful panic attack. I have so much to do, and don't know how to fit it all in. Got called in to do some work when I was due to be in crafts. And I have a cold. I need to sort out badges for the Scouts tonight, and we are investing them. I'm looking forward to that. I think it's missing the crafts again, just threw me off the edge... :(
This time of year is always busy, sparkling lime and if it is any consolation, I got an appointment time mixed up today and turned up an hour late. I felt such a fool but I am telling myself it is just that there is a lot in my head, same as with us all. ;)
Are you sorted for Scouts now? How many are being invested?
Some were missing, so rather than have them miss out, we're leaving it until January. We made Christmas cards and they made so much noise, and my head was already hurting after this afternoon.
I'd ordered hundreds of badges, so spent a while sorting them into little compartments in boxes until 9.30. The children didn't mind staying late with me (three of mine), and it was quiet. I was sitting right by a heater too :D
I ended up going into my neighbour's this afternoon, I was in such a state. Left a message on the desk of the place I work telling them I'm not available next Wednesday or Thursday. I've got someone calling on Wednesday, and it's the last crafts on Thursday - and we're having a buffet!
Oh yes, and the essay. I knew I shouldn't have taken this course, but the parents grant pays my car insurance. How's that for a confession?
I'm falling apart today.
Must order more glue.
Sending you a big tube of Superglue, sparkling :lol: Glad you will get to the crafts and the buffet on Thursday.
I think it's great that you are doing this course. No-one said it would be easy :? , especially with all your other commitments. I have handed in an essay for my course today so I do understand.
The Scouts is certainly popular in your neck of the woods. Could it be anything to do with the fab helpers? ;)
It's been such a funny old week. Bethan's death has been very much on my mind. We were so close - but years ago now, and I'm surprised at how much I've cried for her this week.
Also my brother has been emailing me and talking about the family, problems, growing up. He's older than me and left home when I was 5. My sister left when I was 8. He's gone over a lot of old ground from his view point, and then me saying how I see things! He was telling me that he and my sister were rather mean to my two foster sisters (they're older than me too) and he seems to think the way they were with me (punching, kicking, breaking my toys...) may have been as a result of that. He's very upset.
He and my sister-in-law will be staying with one of their daughter's over Christmas, and he's booked a Travelodge close by to come and spend time talking things through.
It's been hard going emotionally. I'm not sure how I feel about chatting face to face. Talking with him can be like pulling teeth at times!! He reckons that the way I've viewed things have helped him.
He reckons we're quite a disfunctional family and psychologist would have a hay-day with us :lol: :lol:
Ooh sparkling that sounds like it might be very emotional and whilst your brother may feel the need to rake things over, do think very carefully about what is right for YOU, you are not responsible for him. You have had a real rollercoaster in recent weeks and then your friend's death and also that panic attack, sounds like your body is telling you to slow down.
Are you not sleeping too well at the moment as well?
I think he may have had a bit of a surprise at what I've spoken about with him. He'll be coming over anyway, as he did last Christmas, just this time he's going to stay over in a Travelodge.
I don't think it will be hard going, not with my brother. It's something I certainly wouldn't discuss with my sister. It it gets too much, I can use a child as a distraction.
Then again, maybe it is time that they do learn a little of the marriage.
Time will tell. It's not as if we can possibly fall out over it anyway, as I only ever hear from him when Wales are loosing, I mean playing, rugby. :D
You sound quite philosophical about it, sparkling lime, but it will be interesting to see what his reaction is. As long as you are OK?
I am ok, thanks.
I've already said no to a few requests this week from people - how empowering is that?! I'm back to pottering. I'm clearing the kitchen table. I cleared it on Sunday :roll: Thing is, I think most of the extra stuff on it is mine :shock: :? :lol:
I'm going to light a candle. It was about this time of day that my Mum died...
Bless you, sparkling lime :)
And well done on the saying no!
It does help knowing why I'm down. I used to have a right go at myself, telling me I should be over my dad etc... Then one day I realised that it's what other people expected me to do. I miss my parents and my friend because I love them - that doesn't die with them.
I've picked my neighbour up this morning :shock: See how that goes.
Then my son wants to go to a car meet. Leaving on the evening of his birthday. His 18th birthday. I'm making the choice easy for him, although I won't be going out of my way to help.
Inside I'm breaking my heart, that we won't be celebrating his birthday.
I'll be ok come March.