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My boys' dad is moving abroad

tigerlily

Well! I am just getting used to my eldest son having moved out (tho he seems to have been here for a lot of meals lol) when my boys' dad dropped a bombshell, sent a letter home with the younger one yesterday saying that he has accepted a contract to work for 6 months in the Middle East. My 14-year old is devastated, his dad is doing it for the money but will be away over Christmas and well into the spring.

For me it means no more child-free weekends! but more importantly the boys wont see their dad for all that time, and not at Christmas, I am really angry that he can be so selfish and move away from his kids, I have really made an effort for them all to keep in contact, it just feels like he is running away from his responsiblities.

TL

Posted on: October 6, 2008 - 5:06pm
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Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi Tigerlily I am sorry to hear how upset your son is; that is what is making you angry. I guess many of us as parents may have wanted just to "run away" at times and it feels like you think this is what your boys' father is doing.....and leaving you to do it all alone. Your younger son may be feeling particularly vulnerable as his brother has just left home (I remember from your previous post) and everything is suddenly changing in his life. The one constant is YOU and although you may feel stressed about that, it is worth reminding him that good ole mum isn't going anywhere. Having said that, the prospect of being the one and only can be a bit daunting so start to think about other strategies you can put in place to give you a break. Luckily he is old enough to be left for a while and you could enlist the support of other family members to keep his world intact.

In the meantime, what arrangements could be put in place for both boys to keep in touch with their dad? Webcam? Mobile phones? Facebook?

Let us know how you get on

Louise :)

Posted on: October 7, 2008 - 11:45am
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Gamma

I don't know how he can bear to go away, I realy miss my kids now I am not living there any more and thats when I see them every week

Posted on: October 7, 2008 - 8:28pm
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tigerlily

I feel really sad for my boys especially the youngest. Thanks Louise I will see if he can fix up a webcam for them to chat online, I just feel as if it is me doing all the running around to fix things....and he just runs away :x

Gamma your kids are lucky that they have you

TL

Posted on: October 9, 2008 - 9:50am
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Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

I know you are feeling that your boys have been let down by their dad. Frustration with the other parent is a very common feature when you are in a separated family :x

Just keep yourself going with the assurance that you are being a good mum to them and that's all you can control. And stay cool! 8-)

Louise

Posted on: October 14, 2008 - 1:55pm
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tigerlily

Hi every1

Just an update, he has now said that he will fix up a webcam and he will be coming back for a few visits, my youngest feels a bit better. It hasn't affected the older one as much as he has moved out etc, I am meeting him for lunch today (Mum is paying of course!) I think it was the shock of the announcement that affected us all

TL

Posted on: October 31, 2008 - 10:40am
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