Hi mumoftwo
This is a real tricky one isn't it, especially when it is one of your own that is stealing.
How did your daughter behave when she lived at your parents?
Do you think it could possibly be an attention seeking thing?
You are obviously doing what you can, as the school are involved in trying to help.
I don't know what to suggest, as I haven't been in this situation, but hold on in there, and hopefully things will get sorted.
Take care
Alison
x :)
hello mumoftwo
you must be so upset to think that this has happened, I do understand what you mean about trust but I think it is important to distinguish between your daughter and her behaviour. I don't know old she is but sometimes kids do things to test out if you love them. I am not saying you should tolerate theft but she needs to know that whilst her behaviour is un acceptable, you do still love her and want things to work out. A few people I know use safes like sparkling lime and the stealing can often be a phase, you are doing the right thing by involving school but do keep the channels of communication open between you
Hi mumoftwo
Many teenagers steal because they feel unloved, or do not belong. They think it is ok to hurt other people, because "nobody cares about them". I wonder if you are able to sit down and have a heart to heart with your daughter?
Does she see her dad? Could she feel abandoned by him? Don;t give up on her, as Louise says it is her behaviour that is difficult and unlovable, not her. We might feel that we give them all the love we can, but we need to know if our child feels loved and wanted.
Parenting programmes are an excellent idea, they give us extra strength and also we have other parents to bounce ideas off.
I wonder if the school has mentioned any other problems?
Here is a link to GotATeenager website, you might find their information useful: http://www.gotateenager.org.uk/default.aspx?page=viewarticle&module=articles-view&id=24&taggroup=5
Your question was what do I do. I think you contact her on a regular basis, tell her that you love her, ask about her day to day life, what has been going on for her in school, the usual mundane things, try and keep communication going. She is still your baby and being a teenager is SUCH a horrible time, you don't want her to feel alone during it. (However shut out she tries to make you feel)
Are any of the replies you have had, been of any use? Keep us up to date with what is going on.
Hi mumoftwo
When the dust settles a bit between you, maybe invite her over for dinner one evening to get your relationship back on track. Is she going to be with you at Christmas? I do hope so.
Take care
Alison
x :)
Hi
How old is your daughter?
I've had issues of stealing, one involved a lot of money taken by my son with special needs. I got the children (I have four) all together, and we sorted that out as a family unit - but my older two appreciate that he has problems and the youngest just agrees.
My oldest, however, went through a rebelious phase, and was stealing, on one ocassion I know to buy alcohol - I think trying to impress mates. It took lots and lots of talking to get through issues. I never shouted. He was 15 and really did go through a crisis after various issues - we lost everything (he doesn't know why) and his father was continually cancelling contact.
As for trust, that is difficult. Will your daughter communicate with you at all?
Mainly because of my son with special needs - I feel he can't really help himself at times - I have a safe in the kitchen and in my bedroom. My daughter has a safe, and my eldest has a suitcase with a padlock. They all have cash-tins and I have the keys - in a safe! :lol: Money and chocolates tend to get locked away. Horrid, but I've explained why.
I'm glad that the school is involved and that they will be able to help with this.