Parenting in violent surroundings

Yesterday, from the safety of his own bedroom, my son and his friend witnessed a stabbing on the corner of our street.

I have to say I am extremely proud of the boys! They got me to call the emergency services immediately they realised what was going on. They then were able to explain to the operator very clearly what they had seen and a fleet of emergency vehicles turned up within 10 minutes or so. The policeman who interviewed them seemed impressed with their conduct and statements.

Once again I am relieved that I was at home to deal with the situation. If I had been working, the boys would have been alone in the house as the incident happened at a time not covered by afterschool clubs and child minders. It reinforces the fact that my place needs to be at home if I am to be an effective parent in these adverse circumstances.

From my other postings, regular readers will know of my constant battles to maintain a semblance of normality in my son's upbringing. All the dreadful things which keep on happening here just cannot be good for a child's psychological development. This sort of thing just did NOT happen when and where I grew up, so parenting under these circumstances has been a constant learning curve. My son is taking it all in his stride, he's hardened to it and doesn't see street violence as exceptional. I find this worrying. Fortunately, following his own attack on a fellow-pupil, he is currently getting help at his school's learning centre so I was able to alert the unit about this latest incident. My son's dodgier behaviour is definitely connected to the things which go on in the community around him.

A couple of months ago, we watched a TV program contrasting the lives of rich families with poor families. Each week a rich family "adopted" a poor family and gave them assistance in improving their lot. What struck me was that all of the poor familes' children had witnessed criminal activity and violence, mirroring our own experiences exactly! The rich families had no experience of that themselves and looked visibly shocked by what they were hearing as it was almost beyond their comprehension. It was like watching two entirely separate worlds.

As a footnote, someone commented on one of my posts "what goes round, comes around". They were quite right as it happens. The person who was stabbed last night was the drug dealer opposite - yes, the very man who had been victimising my son over the Summer months and damaging his reputation with false accusations! From what has come out so far the drug dealer, armed with a knife, was chasing another man but ended up getting stabbed himself. He is known to be a vicious violent man who is quite used to using weapons on people, so for him to have come off worse has provided a valuable lesson for the kids round here. Hopefully the dangers of carrying a knife will have finally registered with them!