Hello everyone
I was interested in this article. Whilst I take everything in the papers with a huge pinch of salt, this raises some interesting thoughts for me. I have had these feelings about some of the other parents and conversely have met some people who have enriched my life, that I never would have had the opportunity to meet otherwise.
See what you think http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1281644/Mothers-admit-stand-half-friends-meet-having-baby.html
The link doesnt seem to work for me..
But this one does.
I thought it was interesting, despite it being in the Mail.
That was an interesting read and so true I think. Some of the Mums are very competitive. There used to be one Mother that I befriended because her son and my son became friends, but I didn't really have much in common with her. The boys are no longer friends, and we don't have anything to do with each other.
Thanks Bubblegum, I have fixed it but people will probably use yours anyway!
I have found that as the children have grown, the friendship with their friends parents have changed.
I think I was quite lucky in the two I did get on well with. We would go for a coffee, or call into each other's houses.
With one (my eldest's best friend's mum), when I had my youngest, she used to "borrow" him to take out for the afternoon as he missed her youngest when she started school!
Then she increased her work hours, ending up working full-time again two years ago, so we don't see each other now - other than waving as she passes!
The other friend moved away last year - and I've hardly heard from her, which isn't a problem, to be honest.
I think that is right about the relationships changing. I remember feeling very isolated when I had my eldest and I hardly knew anyone in the town so when I moved here (eldest was one year old) I spent the whole summer walking around, seeing what groups there were to join and what was on locally and where everything was. Of course some things did not work out, like that time when I was "too old" for the young Mothers group (at 29) but you gradually find your place, I guess.
It reminds me of when I was first a single parent, I spent a long time again seeing what there was to do and how to make new friends and I tried all sorts of different events and activities, and again, found what was right for me.
But as time has gone on, these things have changed and maybe we have to say that some people are in our lives "just for a season"? What do you think?
A friend sent me a poem after Jill died - I think that was 'just for a season', or something along those lines. I was trying to find it this morning, but as my computer is still firmly switched off, I couldn't! I was going to post it here.
I do believe that is the case. Serve their purpose and move on... It doesn't mean we don't care, just situations change.
Hello, I have posted the poem you might mean in the Poetry section (durr!) in The Evening Chat room. Tried to post a link here but it won't let me so go and have a look
That's the one...
It makes me cry.
Awww, I didn't want you to cry. I felt, when I read it, that there is a "rightness" about the world. Do you know what I mean?
I do.
I know when Jill's Mum phoned me to tell me she died it was the strangest feeling ever. It was like I thought yes, that figures, she couldn't have broken her leg, or fallen, or had appendicitis. It was like it "had" to be death.
And reading that verse when I came home from her funeral it did make sense.
I know she saw me laughing again, and being more like the 'old' me.
I miss her. There's no one about now who knew me inside out!
That's hard to lose the one who knew you best. As we get older, I sometimes wonder if part of our challenge in life is to achieve acceptance of things that seem sad, or disappointing or just plain unfair.
No choice though, really, is there...
I've taken this thread totally off topic!!
Well that's how it goes sometimes :-)
No there isn't any choice and I guess that was really my point, that as we get older we sort of realise that for the first time but my own view is that that realisation in itself isn't always awful, even when we are having to accept awful things.There is a life-wisdom in it, somehow.....
There is, you're right.
I have a physiotherapist trying to change my view point on things too - and succeeding!
Never too old to learn :-)
How often do you have physio, sparkling? And does it help?
She can't do much really, but she's really encouraging. I think it helped when she read through the notes and couldn't believe that it took four years for the GP to take me seriously.
She's referred me for alternative pain therapy - acupuncture, possibly, and to the pain clinic (which I've asked for). All without going to the GP :-D
I told her how much I missed walking on the beach. She told me I was making it sound forever, when really come five or ten years time I will be walking on the beach again.
Still sounds like a life time away...
Nice to have some hopes and plans though!
I have a friend who has had a lot of help from the pain clinic at the local hospital so I hope it helps you too :-)
The GP didn't want to refer me. Maybe this doesn't come out of the surgery's budget...
That might be it. Mind you, I know a few people with health problems at the moment and they are all having difficulty getting their GPs to take them (and their pain) seriously. A couple of friends have arthritis in their 40s and are being told that surgery is very far away.
The physio agrees with being in your 40s is too young for surgery. I think when they talk of pain management for 5 - 10 years, that is terrifying. But then, I've already been like this for 5 years now, and looking back it does go quickly. I still miss being able to walk though.
I think it is a disgrace how pain isn't taken seriously. After all it is life changing.
Yes, there seems to be a lot of money put into treating life-threatening illnesses but not life-changing ones.
A lady at the building society told me this week that although she can hardly walk, she has been refused a blue badge because her condition is "cureable" ie she will eventually have both knees replaced so it is not permanent. There seems to be an anomaly here: the powers that be want to encourage people to work and yet she may have to give up her job because she can't park near enough work. Hmmm......
I know you have a busy few days ahead with Scouts. Did you get any responses to your letter asking the parents for help?
I've not given out the letter yet, as we've still hardly been in.
I'll be tweaking it again before Thursday.
I was told I couldn't have a badge, but was lucky to get one. Only for 18 months. I wouldn't be able to shop without it. I do hope they renew it.
I hope she is able to appeal.
If it was me, I would be creating absolute chaos to appeal but she just seemed resigned. It does appear to vary in different Local Authority areas.
Do give the letter out, sparkling lime.
Hello! Changing the subject to your conversation here!!
I have just read the article you posted Louise, it is interesting and actually quite refreshing to read!
When my daughter was younger and I was a single parent I used to hang around with lots of different people. I was young and was living in a new area, so basically befriended who I could, I needed companionship.
As the years went by friends came and went and so did the children and I used to feel that I was the inconsistent one that couldn't hold down a relationship! So reading that article shows that it was completely normal!
As my daughter grew, I grew, I got used to single parenthood, my new life, my future and now have Good friends that I wouldn't give up for the world.
I also like the saying about people are not for life, they are to accompany you on your journey. (or something like that!)
I just need to post a reply to get the topic onto the right page or it doesn't appear....hence this post