The pressure to be thin
Do you think your teenager has a healthy body image?
An article in the Times last week said that findings suggest that almost one quarter of ten-year-old boys and one third of girls the same age are worried about their body image and shape and that this gets worse as children head into teenage years. Young people are bombarded with messages about healthy eating and exercising as a result of the panic over levels of obesity in the last few years, which alongside the celebrity obsession with being thin, has caused children and teenagers to become much more self-conscious of the way they look. This in turn seems to be leading to a rise in eating disorders amongst young people.
What do you think?
Do you find it difficult to ensure your teenager eats properly?
Does the way your son or daughter think they look affect their mental health and well-being?
Hi Willowmay
I understand that you have concerns about your daughter and it can often be difficult with teenagers to really know what is going on for them. And as a parent it can be very distressing when you feel sure that they are bottling up feelings and coping on their own, it is our natural instinct to want to make everything alright for them. However, I get the impression that you haven't pushed her to open up about any of what may be going on for her and, although I'm sure you may often want to, it sounds like you are handling the situation very sensitively.
The most important thing is for your daughter to know that you are there for her and to feel loved and cared for. Eating disorders and poor body image are related to low self-esteem and confidence, so even if she doesn't want to talk about how she is feeling, you can support her in immeasurable ways by showering her with affection and positive reinforcement.
There are certainly signs you can look out for that could suggest that all is not right and you have picked up on a couple of these with your daughter. It can be vital when a child has a serious problem that parents pick up on early warning signs but equally sometimes what we see as signs can be misleading and can lead us to unnecessary anxiety. You know your daughter best and are the best judge of whether something is seriously wrong. If that is the case, then talk to her about your concerns in a loving and supportive way. If you need feel you need help to take further steps, or your daughter needs help, there is an excellent website of the support organisation 'beat', http://www.b-eat.co.uk or you can ring them on 08456341414.
Let us know how your and your daughter get on.
All the best
Lin
Thanks Lin, that's really helpful. I've had a look at the b-eat website and it is good. Makes me feel a lot better that there is somewhere to get support if I need it. At the moment, I think like you say, that I need to work on strengthening my relationship with my daughter and then be in stronger position to support her if I think she needs it. I guess I just needed that boost to know that I can trust my own judgement.
J.
I'm really pleased to hear that, willowmay. Let us know how you get on and if you need more support you know we're here for you.
Best wishes
Lin
My daughter definitely doesn't have a good body image - she's really pretty and slim but doesn't seem to realise it. Hates her legs, but she has great legs - unfortunately I have also always hated my legs, never liked wearing short skirts or shorts, so I think there's a lot in the thing that if we as parents have a bad body image our kids pick up on that. I've wondered often about whether she has an eating disorder. There was a time when she seemed to go to the bathroom after meals and spend ages in there. And although she doesn't seem to be doing that now I'm not really sure all is well. She, of course, maintains that everything is hunky dory, but I'm not so sure. She keeps a lot bottled up inside. It's really hard to know how to deal with it. And I know that one of the things about anorexia is that they can be very secretive. But I'm not sure whether I'm just imagining problems where they don't exist?