Single mum, North Yorkshire

Glad you're enjoying the holidays Farazzled.  I live on Anglesey.  I'm afraid I'm one of those who don't like to be invaded either!! 

The weather is fabulous, isn't it?

hi i'm 24 n a single mum of 2 i was in a relationship with a man who was so right 4 me but i've messed it up n now i've lost him n don't know what to do please if any1 can help.

this is the story of what's happen since xmas n how my world which i thought 4 once was going right is now such a mess.

i fell out with my ex parents sis n live just started to change from that point on i wish i never fall out with her it's all my fault the whole thing is. i was brought up by my parents think a gift is a gift a present is a present u don't tell people what u want u just greatfull u got something . but my ex's sis would aways call n tell me n my ex what we should get 4 her bday n her kids n the same 4 xmas but this time when it was her daughters bday their was something i wanted to get her daught who called me auntie i thought it would be ok i called told her what i wanted to get n it seemed as though it would be ok well. a few days later we were talking on the phone n she said she couldn't wait 4 me n my ex to have a kid as we were trying 4 1 n we were going get married well on the phone she said i really can't wit 4 a real nice or nephew which i didn't like as i already have to kids so i said what do u mean n we had words but she said sorry 4 the way she said it n i 4gave her. when it come to her daughters party my kids where the only ones who didn't get brought a meal so i want n got them on the same thing happened at ice cream time n when the cake was cut mine where left out again i didn't say anything but to M my ex. later that night i was putting the kids in the car with M n me was going walk home with his sis n some of the other adults well they left him to walk in the dark n snow on his own.
since that happen we hadn't heard of her 4 a few months n me n M got on great we were all a happy family with my 2. then his sis would call wanting stuff n asking why M hadn't been down hers much.
she called when it come close to her bday n her son's wonting to tell us what to get but me n M didn't have much money at the time so i got her stuff i thought she would like n a card off us all as a family n took it down. (ya thinking way didn't M well he was at work i had gone shopping near hers with my dad n he siad he would take me 2 drop it off to save me n M a job as we don't drive). i told M be 4 we drop her gife off n he said that was ok 2 do.
a week later it was my son's bday i was in all day my parents had come aaround but not one member of his family had called or dropped off a card nothing this was the same 4 mine n my daughters bday.
well the next day i got a tx off his sis me n M were not happy so we called to find out what was going on it ended up in a big shoutting do n M ended up passed out downstair i told his family what happen not 1 member of his family called to see if he was ok not 1. since then things haven't been good between us we kept on fighting n one day  it got really bad n i hit him n kicked him out i know the wrong thing to do n i shouldn't of i said sorry to him the next day but he had turned his phone's off so he got the tx a few day's later well i did something stupid n had to go the hospital at the hospital they asked if i could be preg n i said yes as i was late even M know i was they did a test n i was preg so i couldn't have some stuff done at the hospital .
a few days later when he turned his phone on i told him what we had both thought that i was preg we meet up the next day n talked it was clear we both still loved each other n i said i was sorry to him 4 everything again. we then spent the next few dys talking n he had been stopping mine on the wednesday night i was have pains i know somthing was wrong thursday morning he made me call the doctors in front of him. he want work n i want the doc's by this time i had started bleeding n was still in lost of pain the said it was the sart of a miscarge 2 go home if it got any worse i should go the hospital i tx M n told him.
i was feeling so s*** n i was going over everything that had been going on n beatting myself up thinking it was all my fault when i got a tx off M say he was coming home when he come home i'd worked myself up so much i told M to give me some space n go i didn't mean it i took it back straight away but he had already called his sis n she was on her way to pick him up we need up shouting i thought M would understand i didn't mean it do he said it was my fault he was going as i told him to so he left me with my kids not knowing where me was going in the mess i was in. i couldn't believe it so i trid calling him txing him to say sorry but he had turned his phone off.
the night with me working myself up so much i had to call a friend who i had talked to 4 a while to come as i was in so much pain i didn't know what to do my friend had my kid n i went in hospital they did some test n my blood pressure had hit the roof the asked if i had passed any clots i said no so they did an internal exam on me n said everything was fine i was still preg so i tried to tx n called M to keep him up dated but his phone was off i stayed in 4 the next day i was still bleeding but not as much they said they would send me 4 a scan on monday but as i was still upset n wanted to make sure the baby was ok i spoke to one of the hospital staff n they got me a scan 4 that day to carm me down i want 4 the scan n the baby was ok i was 7 weeks 4 days i sent a pic of the scan to M but his phone was still off n i really wanted him to know i was ok n thebaby as the last time i spoke to him he thought i was having a miscrage, so i picked up the phone n called his sis it didn't go down so well she was mad at me saying i had messed M around the i lost my signal so i called back n his mum answered n we talk i said all i want is 4 M to know what had happen then his sis wanted to talk to me i told them what ward i was in n when visting was.
later i was told i could go home so i called my friend to pick me up as i was waiting i got a tx off M asking where i was i said waiting 4 my friend to pick me up the next tx i got was them saying that him i his sis would pick me up but by this time my friend had come n we were just gettin some fuel then going get the kids who were having tea. they said they were at mine n wanted to know where i was. i replyed say's at my friend th kids were having their tea (well they were nearly finshed) n i was coming home as i was teird n just wonted to go bed. matt replyed saying the were staying at mine in the car outside till i come home but my friends had talked me into stopped th night. so i replyed say i was stopping the night at my friend n could we talk 2mo. they also said that when they were at the hospital they had ask if i was their n what ward the hospital said i hadn't been their when i had i asked if M had splet my name to them he said yes but nothing had come up on the computer. by this point i had got the kids in my friends car to come home to talk to matt n his sis n i had tx them saying i was coming back. they sent one saying they were going when i got home they weren't their so i called M we needed up shouting at each other he said he needed space time to think as though he has been throw so musch i said come back so we could talk he said no that his sis was going to take him home that i had made the whole thing up i said how could i sent u a pic of the scan he said i could have got that off the net, then he said my story had kept on changing. i asked him if he loved me he said he didn't know with everything he had been throw i said what about the baby he said he'd be their 4 it but he never said if he would 4 my kids which look at him as their dad. i said do u want out of this relationship n he said yes maybe he did want out.
we ended the call with him saying he would call the next day which is 2day n i wasn't to tx or call b4 he got intouch with me which i hated so did my mate's he wouldn't even talk to them as they were going tell him that i had been at th hospital i even offered to do a test infront of him but he said it all could be facked n he wasn't going believe me till he saw the baby on the next scan n he was there.
iv'e been waiting all day n his phone is off i've tx his sis say sorry i had missed her last night n sorry we had ever fallen out n thank u 4 talking 2 M, butt ive had no reply.
what should i do i don't want to be a single mum again not of 3 i don't think i could cope i think i would end up having an abortion.
plz help i don't know what to do i have no 1 else to talk to but my 2 friends who had the kids  

Hi Laurna, welcome to One Space. Sorry that you're having such a bad time of it lately, but I completely agree with Sparkling. Your boyfriend and you I think need a cooling off period. He has asked that you don't text him, and that he would get in touch with you. I know you are emotional right now, but you say that you have texted him today. I think this might anger him a little, as he told you his wishes. I understand that you love him, and that you're sorry, but I would leave him alone for a while, and wait until he does contact you. Aside from him, you have a lot to consider too. You said you don't think you could be a single Mum to 3? That is something you need to think seriously about. Speak to your GP or something. As for his sister, I wouldn't personally worry about that right now. For now, I would say that you need to look after your two children and yourself. This must be a hard time for them too, very confusing etc. How old are they?

Keep posting, and let us know how you're doing.

take care

Alison

x

my kids r 4 n 3 n they look at him as dad figure as he's been their most of their lifes.

i just wont to know where is stand we started this together now i'm just dealing on my own. what do i do if he never cools down 2 talk to me????????

how could he love me n just go knowing what was going on? will he ever 4give me? n how do i explain to the kids what's going on?

my friends think no matter what if done he should of at least called to see if i'm ok.

i'm trying to rest n just wait 4 him to talk to me when he's ready but its not easy as we've never been apart in 2years till now

I have come to the conclusion that I'm a bad judge of character when it comes to me and men...

I am so glad his mum has been in touch.

Sometimes it can be a shock to the father to find that their partner is pregnant, and it can take a while to sink in.  It depends then on how he is with things when he does get in touch.

I'm sure he just needs to get thoughts straight in his head.  While its ok for me to say that, I know this is totally unfair on you...

Loads of hugs - even if they are virtual. 

All of this is so easy for me to type, I know, but some parts I do understand...