Hi Princess
Well done for painting the kitchen, that was a really constructive thing to do and is a visible achievement :D
It's understandable you are scared of making the wrong decision, that's one of the hardest things about being a lone parent, there is no one to share decisions with. Don't forget that if you do put the house on the market it will take a while to sell so you needn't feel it is irrevocable just yet....it is one step along the path, that's all.
Poor you with the shingles, I know how painful and long-lasting that can be! Be extra kind to yourself while you're ill and try not to worry about work. As I have suggested to another member on the other discussion board, if money gets tight while you are off sick, the Salvation Army are very good with helping out with food parcels etc. and stuff for Christmas.
Good luck with the solicitor and the doc. I will be thinking of you, let us know how it all goes. Hope you are soon feeling better, too
Louise ;)
Hi J
I just want to add my good wishes for the visit to the solicitor. I do hope the pain with the shingles is easing. You're going through such a difficult time, I know.
Wow princess what a week! I bet you are reeling! :D
Let's all keep our fingers crossed about the house situation and also how BRILLIANT that your daughter's grandma has been so co-operative; things are really on the up for you, I am so pleased for you :P
Louise
Hi Princess
I'm so pleased for you. I really do hope the agreement gets signed asap, so you can cross one thing off the list of worries.
My ex-in-laws (they married in 1989, both widow/er) are an absolute tower of strength to me. It was difficult in the early stages, and ex's dad will always support his son, yet they are furious with him and the way he chooses to see so little of the children and chooses not to support them.
I really do hope that his mum and you can sort a lot of things out together.
Best wishes (and a virtual bar of choc to celebrate with) and I hope the shingles have eased off.
I do hope he signs it - and soon, so you can move forward.
Hi Princess
I am not surprised you are stressed with all that is going on! I am glad that you felt able to share your worries and hopefully you will feel supported here.
It struck me as I was reading your post that the "theme" of your problems is a feeling of being "stuck" You are stuck with your health problems cos you can't afford time off from work or parenthood to have the op. You are stuck because your daughter's dad has some hold over you with the house.....and you are stuck because you have had problems with your parents and even now are starting to feel some difficulties in your current relationship. When we are stuck it can give us a feeling of not being in charge, not being in control of any part of our lives.....and so we can become even more depressed and stressed and it will almost certainly make any physical illnesses worse.
The way to break this vicious circle is to TAKE control, even of part of your life. That means taking a decision and going through with it. That is not to say there are any easy options here: what you need to decide is which is the least worst option, if you see what I mean. You have explored the legal side of things and have been told you can't get out of the contract you made re the house. Given that that is the case, you now need to decide whether to cut your losses and sell the house anyway, even if it then means you have to hand over a load of money to the other parent, and then start afresh, renting again, in a place that now CAN be entirely yours.Or you could decide not to sell and to remain in the present situation. Please bear in mind that if you ended up with a lump sum, that could affect certain benefits including Housing Benefit, Income Support and Council Tax Benefit whereby if you have more than £8,000 you lose your entitlement and if you have more than £3,000 your entitlement is reduced.
How long would you need off work for your operation? How long would you be in hospital? I know you don't want your daughter to be without you but the Local Authority would provide a foster carer for a short time for her while you recovered.....I am just thinking about your health and the pain your must be in. It is important, VITAL, to look after yourself as a lone parent and that might mean short term sacrifice for longer term benefits. It's blooming hard work bringing up kids on your own and being solely responsible for running the household and you have to treat yourself as if you were the most important member of your own staff!
I am sorry you feel so alone with these worries. Have you considered going for counselling to help you make some decisions? You can get 6 free sessions via your GP though there may be a waiting list. And don't forget the Samaritans in the wee small hours.....or at any time. They are there to listen to ANY problems of any kind. Look on this page for the number and to see if you have a local branch http://www.samaritans.org/talk_to_someone/phone_calls.aspx
Keep posting and we will keep supporting you
Louise :)