What do you like to be called?
What do you like to be called??
Some people don't like to be called single parent, because of the stigma that the media has attached to the name - "young mum deliberately got pregnant, just so she could go onto benefits and get a council flat!" Others don't like it because they have been married and the title doesn't seem relevant to them.
Some hate being called a lone parent, they don't feel very alone and the word sounds depressing. What do you think, does it sound like you are a parent alone in the wilderness, or do you feel it describes your parenting status well ? What about one parent family? Sole parent? Or do you have your own description?
A lone parent? One parent family? A single parent? A sole parent? A single mum? A single Dad? What do you think?
Hi everyone, thanks for joining this topic, it's really interesting to hear different points of view on this subject. We are all unique and individual, so we can't all be stereotyped into one category as 'smile' said. So although we all share raising our children alone, our stories of how we got there are completely different. Looking forward to hearing more thoughts on the matter.
Keep in touch!
On the issue of whether single parents are called as such or independant parents, i have yet to find out, but interestingly we have an article in our Info Library about West Indian culture and it says that single parenthood isn't an issue in the Caribbean as the culture is generally that it is a village that raises a child, not just a single person, so although many women live as we would describe single parents, they have a huge amount of support from neighbours, extended family and the rest of the community.
Have a read http://www.onespace.org.uk/articles/cultural-roots/caribbean-culture
Here here! Wonder women! And Wonder men of course!
Look out for our You tube video, coming soon on our homepage:
Wonderwoman - A day in the life of a single parent!
:lol: :D ;)
Even when I was married, my ex rarely came out with me and the children, so we never were a family unit. Heck, some people are surprised still when I tell them I'm divorced - and have been happily divorced for over four years now!
I quite proud to be a lone-parent (the name I do use if it's needed). But then life has always been me and the children. Basically we're a family unit, how ever many parents happen to be around.
Personally, I quite like the title of Superwoman...
Plenty of superheroes on this thread!
Jayd, there is "lone parent" or you could just say "I am parenting alone" or "I am a separated Mum" or......"I am a superhero Mum; I do it on my own!" Personally I like that one.
Just picking up on what sparkling lime says, I have found that as well as lone parents, there are many loneLY parents ie people who live together but where one parent does it all. The grass is not always greener, in fact I know a number of parents who much prefer to go it alone.
Whatever you are called, good on yer for doing a great job!
Louise :)
Hi Pip
Actually it isn't going off topic, it is widening out the topic, to think about the way the world perceives "us". The wide range of stories from members of the forum just goes to show there is no such thing as a "typical" single parent, although I believe the average age is mid 30s. Whilst this dispels the prejudiced tabloid image that all single parents are under 18 and get pregnant to get a council house (what council house? there aren't any anymore!), it also means that for every younger person there is a much older parent to balance out the Maths. Therefore there IS no such thing as an average really!
I can well imagine that if your lifestyle is a little different that you receive some unwelcome reactions. I am glad you are proud to be you, and long may you continue to be so!
Louise :)
I get my kids to say 'Please daddy the greatest' if they want something : ) but then they say 'Thank you daddy not the greatest' or they used to at least, I've not heard it for a while.
:lol: :lol: :lol: sounds like you've got it sussed, Bubblegum
Hear hear! I do resent that "media stereotype". It is hard work but even more rewarding when you do a good job. HOORAY!!!!!! :D :D :D
I think we do a better job than some "double" parents do!
Abso******lutely! We are more considerate, more aware of what is going in our child's life and 10 times more capable at everything!!
I think we should be called super complete parents! :?
vickstick34
is awarded
SUPERMUMMY!!!
August 2009
Good point! :D
Probably different for me as I'm a bloke but I like calling myself a single parent and if I have to fill out a form I always put that in the box marked occupation, I'll quite happily go into detail with anyone who makes the mistake of suggesting it isn't a job too and point out that it's hands on twenty four hours a day, you don't get holidays and you don't get paid.
I say it's different for me as a bloke as peoples stereotypical views of a single parent is of a mum, when confronted with me they have to think a bit and formulate their own opinion all of a sudden. Mind you I am on income support.
But generally the first thing I tell people when I meet them, online and in the real world is that I'm a single parent of two small children.
later.
I think thats great bubblegum, because you so obviously didn't get pregnant deliberately with any Tom Dick or Harry just so you could get a council flat and benefits!!! :lol: I really hope it makes people that you meet, question their prejudices of single parents!
Like Teddy on Toast, I think we should come up woth a name; as we do all the work, take all the responsibilities etc I think we should be calling ourselves Superparents. I really dislike being called a single parent as it reeks of benefit scrounging, and lone parent sounds defeated and isolated. Why do we haveto have a label at all? Why can't we just be a parent/mother/father?
I think you are right Moonwolf, we should just be able to be parent/mother/father, however I also think that we want to be recognised as the complete parent, the one that does it all, the one who handles EVERYTHING, without having someone to lean on. We want to be recognised as having it harder than perhaps a woman from a 2 parent household who's husband earns £60k plus and all she does is school coffee mornings, cake stalls and the shopping (in her 4x4) :oops: I'm not jealous, just want to be recognised as having it a little harder than some. ;)
a woman from a 2 parent household who's husband earns £60k plus and all she does is school coffee mornings, cake stalls and the shopping (in her 4x4)
I know one or two women like this, they think I'm wonderful* and I think they think that as they have such easy lives where every problem is solved by throwing money at it and they look at the likes of me and think how does he manage, without money? maybe. And if they have husbands off earning 60K then they probably don't spend much time with the kids and that's another thing women get all strange about, it's men dealing with the children, they either can't do it or if they do they do it wrong and if by some strange chance they seem to be doing it right then they must be incredibly special or something, in touch with their feminine side, sensitive, it couldn't possibly be that they are just your average normal chap getting on with what life has put in front of them.
:)
*Not enough though that it's gotten me into bed with any of them mind. When I first became a single parent I thought yippy! this is my ticket to unlimited women, they're going to be fawning all over me, I've got two beautiful kids, I'll have to beat them off with a stick, but alas it was not so.. and in some ways I feel I've been cheated. (joke)
:lol: bubblegum.
Seriously does anyone envy these women? I certainly don't. I would hate to have a life that empty......though I wouldn't mind a butler :lol:
Bubblegum said: "When I first became a single parent I thought yippy! this is my ticket to unlimited women, they're going to be fawning all over me, I've got two beautiful kids, I'll have to beat them off with a stick, but alas it was not so.. and in some ways I feel I've been cheated. (joke)
Maybe you have to try and be a little more needy and subservient, then maybe these women could come and rescue you with their many dollars!!
I don't mind lone-parent.
I do feel a scrounger though - or do when I have time too... :roll:
I don't really mind what i'm called, but i think you're right. The stereotyping is quite degrading. I just want people to know that i'm a person just like everyone else and just because i'm single doesn't mean i'm any worse at looking after a child!